Client: I haven’t heard back from you regarding the forms.
Me: I haven’t received them, sorry. When did you submit them?
Client: I haven’t.
A client was on his fourth set of revisions this week. He insisted each ‘revision’ be completed from scratch. His last revision involved changing the font, as they were 'all mixed up.’ He (once again) insisted I start from scratch in order to fix the problem.
Me: Can you try and show me where the faulty font is?
Client: They’re all over! Look at that!
He points to the number six.
Me: I’m very sorry, but what’s wrong with it?
Client: It’s a different font! It’s a different size! It’s right there, it hangs lower than the other numbers!
Me: Ah, no, that’s how Georgia is, some characters fall under the centre line. I can assure you, it’s the same font and size -
Client: Why did you use this f**king font?!
Me: Because it was the font you chose.
Client: I don’t think I did.
Me: "I want George font… don’t make me repeat myself.. I don’t care about the kernling, it looks right to me.“
Client: Don’t take that f**king attitude to me! What are you trying to say!?
Me: Nothing, that’s what you said before the first set of revisions. I have your email in front of me.
Client: Clearly, I wanted the George font then.
My business partner fired him the next day.
Hey, I know it’s been a while, but do you happen to know our office WiFi password?A client I haven’t seen since 2010
Client: I had an issue with the webinar on Monday, hopefully you will fix it for next Monday.
Me: I don’t do webinars on Monday, my live webinars are run every Tuesday.
Client: Thats fine, as long as it is fixed so I can watch it next Monday.
Me: Maybe you are misunderstanding me. The reason it seems you had an issue on Monday is because there was no webinar on Monday. The webinar is on Tuesday. So you can’t watch it on Monday. That is what the issue was.
Client: So will it be fixed by Monday or not?
Client: The finished product seems to be exactly the same as the concept!
Me: I don’t understand the problem.
Client: I had many more ideas that needed to be addressed. I assumed that after my approval of the concept, the real work would begin on a sort of mock up that we would refine into the final product.
I was on holiday at the beginning of the month and a colleague was supposed to deliver a design project in my stead. However, the client said he was happy to wait two weeks until I came back so that he could keep working with me.
Client: When will the magazine be delivered?
Me: Not be until tomorrow.
Client: It was supposed to be delivered at the beginning of the month. It’s two weeks late.
Me: You said you were fine with the project being delayed while I was away.
Client: Yes, but I thought you would have made up that time so it could be delivered on time?
Me: That’s not possible. I was away on holiday for two weeks and you said it could wait.
Client: Couldn’t you have finished it while you were away? I said it could wait but I didn’t know that meant it would take longer!