Client: Can you do that in simyak?
Client: You know, use simyak colors.
Client: Right. Simyak.
These icons don’t look as sharp when I zoom in on them.
I recently accepted a design request for an invitation suite. The process took longer than expected because the client was “too busy” to respond to emails, and would take a week or more to look at revisions. About three months into the project I received a phone call.
Client: I’ve got some changes I need to discuss with you.
Me: Okay, what would you like to talk about?
Client: We’ve decided to go with a pre-made invitation. This process is taking too long for some reason.
Can the date format be changed to DD-MM-YYYY? 23-11-12 or 11-23-2012
This story takes place in what would be “week 50” of the year.
Client: (in an email with the subject line: xxxxx Week 51 52) Why the hell aren’t we getting any impressions on our counter? I can’t even see the ad!
Me: Because the ad campaign starts next week.
Client: How unprofessional on your part.
Oddly, I thought it unprofessional to ask HOW it was unprofessional on my part.
A client commissioned me to direct a commercial for a clothing line, and then asked me to write a concept because they couldn’t afford a copywriter. I submitted a concept which was about a girl and a piano. Two months went by and not a word about the commercial.
Then I got this phone call:
Client: You’re shooting your commercial in two days. We got you a model for the shoot.
Me: Two days? The boards aren’t even made.
Client: You make them.
Me: Okay. Can she play the piano? Half the commercial is her playing the piano.
Client: No, she’s a model.
Me: But is she a model who can play the piano?
Me: You’re saying that our commercial which involves a girl playing a piano has a girl who can’t play the piano?
Client: You can fake it to music in post.
Me: What music, I haven’t had time to pick any music.
Client: I’ll pick the music after the shoot.
Me: We need to know what music we’re using if she’s going to mimic it.
Client: No it’ll be fine, she doesn’t. You said you needed a piano right?
Me: For the piano playing, yes. It’s all on the list, HR has a copy.
Client: Okay, I’ll book it. Anything else I need to book? I got you two cars.
Me: What about the car mount?
Client: Wait, do you want the car mount or the cars? Make up your mind.
Me: Why would I want a car mount without a car? Both. I still need to approve the girl, the wardrobe, props, etc.
Client: I’ll do it, you don’t need to know about it. I’ll see what I can change on the list.
Me: When are we shooting this?
Client: Friday. Shut up for a second.
He puts me on hold. Five minutes later…
Me: So you’re saying that nothing is ready for the shoot that’s in less than 36 hours?
Client: That’s none of your business, just shoot it, we’ve got a good location, you’ll see it on Friday.
He hangs up.
I was asked to design an email template for a client for their monthly newsletter. I created a draft for them to see how it would look.
Client: It’s beautiful! I love everything about it. Just perfect! Could you just insert our old newsletter content and send it back so we can see how it looks?
Me: Of course.
I update the template and send it.
Client: Ugh. What’s wrong with this new template?
Me: What do you mean?
Client: The copy is so long. And the photos are ugly. I hate it.
Me: That’s what you had on the old newsletter. It’s long because the copy was long. And I just used the same photos you used before.
Client: When you sent the draft it looked great, but now that it has our photos and copy, it looks awful. I don’t get how you messed this up.
Me: The copy and photos you asked me to use should probably be replaced.
Client: You obviously don’t know what you’re doing.