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SUBMIT STORY

I was helping an elderly business owner with marketing.

He seemed nice at first.

Client: I hear so many complaints from customers, I am immune to it by now. I feel like a surgeon, and after a while, it just feels like business as usual.

Me: I’m sorry to hear that. It’s important to get their complaints resolved as soon as possible these days, as customers provide feedback online.

Client: I don’t have time to figure out their concerns. I am providing useful products and services. This is how I run my business.

Soon after, I walked away after seeing countless complaints come in daily that weren’t even close to resolved.

A year later, I read in the newspaper that shortly after I left, there was a class action lawsuit against him for failing to provide basic levels of safety in his products and services. I am glad I was not involved.

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Client: I want someone to build me a site like Facebook, except I want the main color to be red.

Me: (laughing hysterically and silently)

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I was chatting with a potential non-profit client about my website development training, which could be useful as part of my work with her.

Me: I completed online classes in website development and the user experience. I have taken classes in computer science and I know a number of programming languages.

Client: Why would you need to study that? What a waste of time. These days most websites are drag and drop.

I quickly feel myself wilting like a sad flower.

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I was hired to work on a design project for a small business to update a very cluttered and outdated old e-mail newsletter (think: a newspaper smashed into a long jumbled e-mail).

Client: My Dad, who is in his 80’s, loves to work on these e-mail newsletters every month. I have finally convinced him we need to hire a designer to update the look. I might hand over the newly designed template back to him to update every month, or we might want you to do it.

I was hoping they wouldn’t give it back to the Dad, as the design could become cluttered and outdated again.

Me: I think we can make a lot of improvements to make the e-mail newsletter easier to read. We can break up the sections, simplify the content, and make the design look consistent with your brand.

We discuss some ideas. I perform research on layouts for inspiration, which I send to the client. She liked my research. I then sent her my design drafts. The designs look clean, appealing, modern, and easy to read.

Client: Oh, here are ten more images to place in the e-mail newsletter, 4 more sales promotions, three more articles, and three product descriptions.

Me: I would recommend linking back to that content on the website, on a blog for example, instead of placing it all on the e-mail newsletter. I think the e-mail design should be more of a brief scroll.

Client: I agree with you. However, we have to make my Dad happy with it, and that’s what he wants.

I realized the intended audience, in this case, is the Client’s Dad. The e-mail newsletter will become almost as cluttered as it was before.

I walked away from the project soon after.

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I was freelancing in a marketing position for a business that was going through a lot of change as a result of management decisions that weren't well thought out. 

The business had recently expanded its product line under the whim of my the Director’s son, who was in his early 20’s and was my boss.

The products weren’t selling as fast as he had hoped. He had expanded his sales team by almost 40%. None of these decisions were made with my input.

Me: It seems like there’s a lot of work that we need to do to market this expanded product line.

I proceed to discuss my thoughts and ideas about ways to improve customer interest.

Client’s son: Well, I’ve only been here a year. What do you want me to do about it?

I guess, according to this logic, being a Manager means one can completely shrug off all responsibility.

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I posted an ad on a local job board advertising my house cleaning services, as I was seeking some extra income as a side gig. A woman replied and said she was interested. I chatted with her briefly and learned she needs the whole three-story house cleaned, and she hasn’t had anyone clean it in a while.

I give her my hourly rate, which was the average rate in the area from people I had talked with.

Client: That much? That’s too much!

Me: Well, it’s very physical work, and I would need to recover afterward. It’s different from a desk job.

The client sullenly agrees.

When I arrive at the house in a nice part of town, I notice she barely has any cleaning supplies (even though she stated she had everything). I made the best with what she offered me.

Client: Here are some rags.

There are 4 rags. I had to use some scarce paper towels for the rest - not ideal.

I almost passed out from the amount of work that was needed. Some areas of the house hadn’t been cleaned in months from the looks of things.

At the end of nearly 4 hours, I was glad to be finished. The woman criticized some of my work - which I didn’t appreciate, especially since I went over various areas twice to ensure it was extra clean. 

She then writes me a check.

I say thanks and leave, wanting to never return to that house.

I tried to cash the check soon after, and it bounced.

I had to text her various times to ask for payment - explaining the check bounced.

Client: Stop texting me!

Me: I will need to take the issue to small claims court if I don't hear back from you in a week with payment.

Client: You didn’t even clean my house that well. I hired another housekeeper who did a much better job than you!

She finally re-sent me a check that went through.

Words of Wisdom: ask for cash at the end of a home improvement / cleaning job.

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Client: Please edit the photo. The sky is too brightly dark.

Me: ...what?

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As an experienced e-mail campaign designer, I worked with a client (a sales professional) on an e-mail template to go out to his software & hardware business leads. We discussed his goals, the imagery, message, audience, and more.

I created various drafts for him to review, with high-tech imagery and modern stylish grey & navy blue colors that matched his website. The content was friendly, approachable, tech-savvy and informative.

Client: The designs look good. I'm just going to play around with them to make a few changes.

Since I was busy at the time, I decided he could do what he wanted with the templates I created.

Client: Check back in a day or two.

I checked back in a couple of days.

The client changed the font in various places to bright Christmas red, black, and bright 80’s neon green. It wasn't the holidays.

He changed the modern sans serif font style to Times New Roman. He changed the text on various places of the e-mail to repeatedly say “BUY NOW” “GREAT DEAL” “CALL US TODAY” “LIMITED TIME ONLY.”

 

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I talked with a potential client about improving SEO for a large business. The client worked with the company for a year, and I noticed his background did not include any website development, UX, or online content writing experience.

Client: We need someone to improve the SEO for this business. We have worked on the website, but we still have a long way to go. What would you do to improve the SEO?

At this point, I was starting to suspect he was trying to get free advice out of me. Still, I wanted the job.

Me: There are lots of factors that impact SEO. I would look at adding more quality website content, working on the imagery, improving page titles and meta descriptions, and improving the overall design and UX of the sites.

Client: I see. Yeah, we need to improve all those things.

He proceeded to ask me various other detailed questions about ways I would improve the website and SEO. My responses were detailed and helpful. I discussed everything from social media to the value of business listing sites.

Client: Well, we’ll let you know if we want to bring you on board. IF.

That "IF" was delivered in a snide tone.

That red flag made me look at the project more critically. It was much larger than one person could reasonably do by oneself, probably requiring a studio to take it on. 

At the same time, the pay was average (at best) and did not reflect the scope of work. I sent him an e-mail the next day stating I wasn’t interested in the job.

That was three months ago. The job listing remains open, in a large city with lots of talent. I wonder why they had a hard time filling it…

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