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SUBMIT STORY

I work in a pre-press department at a printer. Recently I was pre-flighting a booklet of supplied PDF files. After the client received the first proof, he submitted revised files, but unfortunately batch #2 was missing the bleed that the batch #1 had. I let them know that they needed to supply new files that included bleed just like he did with the first batch of supplied files.

Instead, he uploaded the same file, but in the size description box on our upload site he typed in the dimensions that the files should be if they had bleed. He actually thought that simply typing the correct size in a description box on the web would somehow fix his file.

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I worked for a design agency 10 years ago. My predecessor built two complete websites for a client – neither of which had gone into use or were ever paid for – but the client was a big shot in the industry and got away with it.

I changed jobs a couple of years later to another agency. Lo and behold, we get called to build a website for this same client. I told my boss about the two websites that never saw the light of day at my previous employer, and warned her to get paid upfront.

I went to the client's offices to discuss the brief.

Client: Don't worry about the content. I've actually already collated all the content into a mock website to give you an indication of what you're looking for.

At this point, he showed me a demo model of one of the sites that were built at my previous boss's agency!

Me: (feigning ignorance) Wow. Did you put that together yourself?

Client: (beaming with pride) Yes. Not bad, right?

Oh, it's bad. Very, very bad.

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Had a client ask us to create a logo for their small firm. After doing a  thorough creative brief with them and doing a whole presentation on the concepts made, we didn't hear from them for a few months even after various follow ups.

Turns out, the partners split. The original contact asked us to rebrand and make a new logo for his firm. His original logo was just a serif font, nothing special about it. So, we went through another thorough creative brief.

Client: I want a new, cutting edge, unique design. Something that told the story of this company and its name.

Again, we delivered the presentation and he was so excited and loved all the concepts and said he would get back to us to let us know what he decided.

Didn't hear back from him for a month. When he finally did call us back, he kept describing the revisions he wanted us to make, after repeating and trying to clarify what he was trying to explain, it ended up being EXACTLY like his original logo.

Turns out his wife (who was nowhere during the creative briefs) didn't like any of them and wanted the original serif font logo he had... but it took them about 5 months to come up with that decision.

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I once had a freelance job  writing ad copy for a company that sold Silver Eagle Half-Dollars as collectors items. I’m sure you’ve seen similar ads. This, I was told, would be a full-pager on the back cover of a Sunday newspaper magazine insert.

The coins were in mint condition and were packaged in a very attractive velvet-lined cherry wood box, perfect for the discriminating coin collector. The company’s owner instructed me to write copy that would impress the reader with the collectible significance of this coin and its .999 percent pure silver composition. They sold for more than $100 each. My father was a coin collector, so I knew that these things had some real value.

I wrote what I thought was a dignified ad, extolling the coin’s mint brilliance and beauty. I had researched the historical significance of the coin and tried to convey to potential customers the importance of having such a magnificent piece among their collections. I even wrote about the beautiful, velvet-lined cherry wood box and how much value it added to the piece, which would no doubt be passed down from generation to generation and become a treasured family heirloom.

By the time I was done I wanted to buy one of the coins for myself.

When I showed it to the owner, he read it carefully, nodded a few times, while muttering a few thoughtful “hmmm” and “ahh” sounds. Then:

Client: This is great, but what it needs is more CAPITAL LETTERS and plenty of EXCLAMATION MARKS!!! That’s what catches their eye. Make it LOUDER.

Me: I was aiming for a more... dignified approach.

Client: Yes! Perfect! Capital letters and exclamation marks. 

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Customer brought in some mugs to be engraved. They wanted two logos engraved on each side of the mug. We normally require vector drawings, but we always have to work with whatever is given to us. 

The first logo is given to me on a printed piece of paper. It was a very small jpeg enlarged 300%. This was fine compared to the second logo.

He'd given me a bag of mugs to engrave. I was looking through and I saw a spice bottle.

Me: Sir, I think you accidentally left this in the bag.

Client: No, that's your example.

I looked. There was a logo on the spice bottle. 

Client: That logo on the label should be good enough for you to use, right?

Me: ….

I would also like to point out that the logo was a very detailed family crest and was about 1" 

After a long conversation and many phone calls I did get them to send me a vector provided by their labeling company. 

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Client: Maybe you can sprinkle some butterflies into this text to make it prettier. I don’t know – I don’t know these graphic design tricks.

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I was creating a website layout for a CMS. This particular software was very customisable, and without access to their source files, I had no idea how a client’s specific install operated in the non-standard details.

Me: I’ve got the board index layout complete, with placeholder images for the poster avatars. I don’t have the mod that makes avatars show up there on my test install, so I can’t put that code there.

Client: We ended up hard coding it in, because the mod we were using for that wasn’t very good, so don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it.

I didn’t worry about it, and continued with the rest of it. Once it was done and I’d sent them their theme files, they messaged me again:

Client: Hey, how do I get the avatars to show up?

My bad, I assumed if you did it yourself, you knew how…

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I work part-time for a client who doesn’t seem to understand that part-time does not mean he can text me whenever he wants. He also doesn't understand some key terms.

At 11 PM:

Client: Hey, I need the wireframe for the website. Can you have it ready by tomorrow?

Me: Wait, sorry, wireframe? By TOMORROW?

Client: Yeah, like we discussed.

Me: (panicking) I am nowhere close to being finished the wireframe. Are you sure we agreed to this?

Client: Yes. I need the wireframe for the logo. Can you have it ready by tomorrow?

Vector. He meant vector.

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Client: I need the logo to be white and in a pdf

I made a white logo in Illustrator and sent it as a PDF.

Client: The attachment is blank, unless the white logo is blending in and I can’t see it. LOL

ME: Haha yes, that’s the case. if you highlight it, you should see the logo.

Client: I don’t know how to highlight.

Then I don’t know how to help you.

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