I'm an MRI technician. A client came in for a scan, and we instructed her to take off her metal bracelet before her scan.
Client: This isn't metal - it's silver.
I work as an account manager, I was attending the first meeting with a new client signed with our agency.
I entered the room with the business development manager and greeted the client with a casual handshake and a small intro.
Client: (Not looking at me, asking the BDM) Is this the person who will manage my account?
Business Development Manager: Yes, she's one of our best!
Client: well, that's a problem.
He wasn't joking. He didn't explain himself, but he did not look at me or any other woman in the meeting the entire time.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been through this by now, but I had a client let me go because I elected to wear a mask to a meeting they insisted on having.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Client: Someone in Australia is using my name.
Me: It's their name too.
Client: But they're a coal miner! It's making me look bad.
Me: Uh...
Client: Can you make them change? Or at least remove them from Google?
Client: While I've got you here, would you mind formatting this pamphlet for me?
Me: I'm a WEB designer, not a print designer.
Client: Is there really a difference?
Client: Hey! Have you made any progress on the site?
Me: What?
Client: The site! How's it going?
Me: I reached out to for more details and you never responded, nor paid my deposit. This is the first I've heard from you in six months.
Client: So you haven't started?
Client: Heads up. We have a new project coming in, and you have six days to finish it.
Me: (solo graphic designer) It? What is it?
Client: Graphic brand refresh for a concept department store for (major private developer). They also want us to have final artwork for signage and environmental graphics ready by then.
Me: ...Is this project confirmed?
Client: Almost. We’ll know in about half an hour.
Me: Well then, heads up – you have half an hour to line up a backup designer, because if it really is six days, I’ll quit on the spot.
Client: What's that font that's really popular?
Me: Times New Roman is used all over the place, although less so in web design.
Client: No, I know that one, but there's one that people talk about all the time.
Me: Helvetica?
Client: No, no... it starts with a "k" sound...
Me: (dawning horror) ...Calibri?
Client: C... C... Comic Sans! What would that look like?
Not a client from hell, just a terrible boss. I swear this happened exactly as I'm describing.
Boss: I know you booked tomorrow off but I need you to come in anyway.
Me: I'm really sorry, but that won't be possible.
Boss: Come on, I'm sure this thing you're doing tomorrow can't be that important -what was it, again?
Me: I'm... attending my grandmother's funeral?
Boss: Yeah, that was it! You can skip it, right?
Me: No, I'm sorry, I won't.
Boss: You know, sometimes it really feels like other things are more important to you than working for me. You need to be more careful. I expect work to be your priority in the future.
Me: (goes back to work)
Boss: Oh, and you know what? You should smile more. Anyone would think you're not happy here! (laughs at own "joke")
Gee, I wonder why it seems that I don't like working for you. Could it be that you're a horrible person?
Sadly, I haven't had any luck in trying to find a different job.