Client: (two weeks ago) One more little tweak and we’re done!
Client: (one week ago) One more little tweak and we’re done!
Client: (Monday) One more little tweak and we’re done!
Client: (Tuesday) So if we print this 8.5x11 brochure on 11x14 will it look the same?
Client: (today) We’re going in a different direction with content and images. We’ll get back to you.
Client: We want to add a piece of voiceover to explain something we forgot to say.
Me: Okay get a new member of staff to record it, that way it won’t stand out when people watch the video.
The client sends over two voiceovers… both from people in the video. I edit it anyway and send it back.
Me: I think you’ll see when you watch the video - because the audio conditions changed on the same voices, the clip you sent it sticks out. I would still suggest getting another member of staff to do it so it just seems like another voice in the mix instead of the same voice, but weird.
Two days later.
Client: We see what you mean about the voiceover. Our idea [emphasis added] is to have another member of staff record it instead.
Wow, genius.
I was working on a website redesign for a client, staying within their existing themes and plugins, after various delays back and forth from both sides during design phase, I managed to push through the bulk of the dev work and get the site near-ready inside of 5 days. All it needed was the copy from the client (as had been requested multiple times) and it was good to go.
Me: Here are the links to the preview pages as per the agreed design, it’s almost ready to go live, if someone can send me the copy for the pages I can get these live this evening.
Client: (three days later) this has taken too long, it’s now way past deadline, I’m very disappointed, I’m canceling the project.
I followed up with an email explaining that all that was needed was the copy and I could have live that same day, but respected their decision and wished them all the best if they still wanted to cancel. No reply, left it there.
Two weeks later, I see their site had a basic “site under construction” page in place (something my work avoided). Three months later their new site launched with a basic overused theme, inconsistent font sizes and styles, spelling errors, poorly laid out content with 12pt text sprawling edge to edge of the screen, nav menus that run over into 2 lines, etc. I think (and hope) it was a DIY job, if not, they got ripped off.
I have a client who is notorious for “overworking” ideas. A project was coming close to completion, and it required them submitting their final artwork for printing:
Me: Are you certain this is the final version?
Client: Yes, it is
Me: You’re entirely happy with it, then?
Client: Yes - I am. This is it, print away!
Three months later - he calls me on the phone
Client: DUDE! I’m looking at the prints now! It’s not the final version! I can’t believe you made this mistake!
Me: I’ll forward you the email where you said this was the final version and you were happy with it.
Client: Well, there’s clearly been a miscommunication. It looks like someone has used an old draft and sent it off.
Me: No, there definitely hasn’t been a miscommunication. You agreed right there that this was the final version. Twice.
Client: So, how much will you refund me for this miscommunication?
Client: I just got my bill and it says I owe $100. Why?
Me: Well you haven’t paid in two months, the last payment we received was in September.
Client: Did you send a bill OUT for September?
Me: Yes… We send out a bill every month.
Client: No you don’t.
Me: Yes… we do.
Client: NO. Y'ALL DON’T.
Me: I’m sorry but yes we do, it’s automatic.
Client: Well I just checked my account online and it said a zero balance.
Me: Well if you haven’t paid in two months that’s not possible. A bill generates every month.
Client: Well I’m not gonna pay it!
Me: Alright. But I have to let you know it could be disconnected at any time.
Client: I’ll pay it tomorrow.
Me: You want a set of posters using the 13 quotes you supplied, can I add images to the poster to give visual strength to each quote?
Client: Yes! But I don’t want to pay for stock imagery. Just use some of your original work – that way I don’t have to pay extra.
Me: You think if I take the photos, they’ll be free?
Client: …Yeah?
Me: Ok, so we’ll just use text with no photos.
I design and make custom Championship-level dance costumes. Typical prices range from $600 for a boy’s outfit to $2000 for an adult lady’s dress and I charge a $300 non-refundable deposit.
Client: I dance for [well-known dance school] and I’d like you to make me a dress.
Me: Great, I’d be happy to! Just pay the deposit, and if you could send me some ideas as to what you would like, we can start the process and I can give you a price quote as to what your dress will cost and approximate delivery date.
Client: I will. I look forward to the dress, I love your designs so much!
Three weeks of no deposit, but she does send her measurements and plenty of pictures of dresses she likes. Then an email.
Client: Hi, I just wanted to ask when the dress will be finished?
Me: …You haven’t paid the deposit yet. I haven’t started.
Client: What deposit?
Me: The $300 so we can get started. It’s in the contract you signed.
Client: $300 just to get started? But I can only pay $300 for the whole dress! You know I’m a student! Can you not do it as a favour? I’ll be a great example for your art.
Me: No thank you. There are already plenty of dancers wearing my dresses. Are you prepared to pay?
Client: Of course not, I don’t have that kind of money. You are a bad person for taking advantage of a broke student.
I figured I could live with that.
Client: I received my desktop from the company but when my son was here to help me put it together he said there was a part missing so it won’t turn on.
Me: Was it the power cord?
Client: You’re going to have to be less technically with me; I have no idea what that is.
Me: The cord that plugs into your power outlet…
Client: Look, I’m not a “computer wizard” like you. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Me: Okay, it’s the same type of cord that would be attached to a lamp that you plug into the wall so that it comes on. Is there one of those coming out of the computer and into the wall?
Client: This is getting nowhere. Can I speak to your supervisor?
I worked for a small software company and the week before this one of our installers had done a week’s worth of installation and training at the client’s site.
Monday morning the client called screaming that nothing is working and he isn’t going to pay. He won’t talk to tech support and won’t allow anyone to walk him through the issue over the phone. He insisted someone return and uninstall everything. Our company president convinced him to let us send a tech team to find out what’s going on.
We drove 3 hours one way and arrive at his office. He yells and blusters that he isn’t paying and he doesn’t know why we have to be there since nothing works anyway.
We got to his office and he and most of the people in his organization are there, all squeezed in, and he goes to the desk and points at the screen.
Client: See? It isn’t working.
Me: Ok, let me take a look. What’s your user name and password?
Client: I don’t know! That’s why it isn’t working!
Other worker: Hey boss…remember? We set all of our user names to our first name, and the password is our last name.
At this point, the client typed his first and last names in the field.
Client: Huh. I guess it is working. Ok, I guess we didn’t need you after all.
Life is full of changes. One moment you can be a freelancer, the next you can be working full-time for one of the most exciting blockchain projects in the world, and then a freelancer again!
...Okay, that's pretty specific. But that's exactly the journey Bryce Bladon has taken over the last few years, and he joins old friend Kyle Carpenter to discuss his return to the freelance fold, the strategies he's used to hit the ground running, and why knowing yourself is the most important thing you can do for your career.
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