Client: I need you to design some cards.
Me: What size?
The client then held up their phone and traced the outline with their finger.
I sometimes flip websites on Flippa, a marketplace where sellers can offer domains and websites.
I sold a plain vanilla Wordpress site and included free cPanel to cPanel migration for under 300 bucks last week.
After successfully transferring the website to him, confirming that nameservers were updated and updating Wordpress user login info (to give him) , this is how things have unfolded.
Me: Okay, everything is completed now. I see that you accepted domain transfer few days ago and now I have confirmed that the website migration is completed. Here is your Wordpress login information.
Client: I can see the website but your installer placed it in the wrong folder so it cant work.
Me: Thanks for confirming that the website is up and working. Not sure what you mean by the wrong folder. The mySQL database and website files were all placed in the correct order/places, etc.
A day later:
Client: I couldn't reach you on Sunday after the files were put in wrong folder. So I tried to reset passwords to move them. You did not reply to me on Sunday so I had to hire a developer. He says he has to change the password so you can't log in and screw up the website. He says it's good you left a zip file there or the whole website would be gone! Anyway, my developer is reinstalling everything for me, the files, the database and the MySQL stuff was old as well. No need to talk to him, he's overseas anyway, I found him through Upwork. No he's not creating issues but just for some strange reason couldn't change the WP admin login credentials.
Me: As I stated the website was working fine yesterday. It's alarming that the developer you hired changed the passwords. I can't give you advice if I can't log in now.
Client: When you clicked on the domain in Cpanel under the domain, there was no long list of files that showed that are supposed to. Just 6 files, a backup of the website, two favicon files, the cgibin file, and one other file that had nothing in it. There's supposed to be like 95 files showing when you click on it, then wp-content, wp-admin, etc. There was none of this, so this goes to show the migration was done very wrong.
Me: As I have already stated, the website and MySQL were moved and everything was up and visible online. If I can't login to view the Cpanel or WordPress, there's not much more I can write here...
Client: You need to put websites in the right folder and wait until the migration is finished before starting to the other folder. Also like I said, what they installed was a sip file of the website, two favicon files, the cgbin file and one other and that was it. I have never seen anything like it before. So in all actuality, this would have been totally reinstalled anyway Far as not getting into the panel, the developer didn't want me messing with things while he worked on it so I had the Cpanel password changed. That's why me or anyone else can't current login to Cpanel. I just wish you would have sent me the login credentials at the very start before you moved anything. But it still would have been the same since the site was installed in the root directory and not in the folder.
As for my access, I still haven’t been able to log in, as the developer is still processing the new migration, database and MySQL
Don't know why you put it in the root and also didn't use the correct http format as well.
This is over span of 3 days. Apparently his overseas developer is doing a migration even though he doesn't have the source login info for my web hosting.
Current count of messages between the buyer and myself: 97. Of those, 27 are me replying to him. 70 are him lecturing me with incorrect information about how to do my job.
A new client required me to submit an event on a ticketing platform but could not remember the password. He changed the password and gave me the new details.
Client: Please note that this is also my banking credentials, so please don't use it for that.
Me: Uhm...I would not have known that if you did not tell me.
Client: Oh...okay but just don't use it.
Client: Please add a Column X to the spreadsheet and I will put in the data in there.
Me: Here is the spreadsheet with a Column X for you to add the data.
Me: Do you have the data yet?
Client: Here it is.
Me: There's no data in Column X.
Client: Was I supposed to fill in that column? I didn't know what it was for.
Reading all these posts I realize that I am now not going mad when I dealt with a previous client.
Bit of background...I worked on the branding for a new boutique bistro making flyers, menus, restaurant logos, etc.
As an example, the menu designs were very simple, white background, company logo at the top and lettering done in a specific font and layout...easy right?
Most of the meetings with the "marketing and branding expert" went like this...
Client: We need some menus doing to fit in with the rest of the items you have done.
Me: No problem, send me the content I'll set it out for you ready for print.
The client sent me the content, I put together the menu layout.
Client: Looks ok, but.... can we make the logo a bit bigger?
I realize now this is a classic line for shitty clients.
Me: How's this?
Client: Bigger again, it needs to be the biggest thing on the menu, all my years in marketing has taught me that the logo needs to be huge!
Me: But then it will take away all proportion to the text and look hideous,
Client: Do it anyway then go to print.
I complied and got a batch printed.
Client: Hmm, is there any way of moving the text up a bit and making it bigger? The logo seems to be taking over.
Thanks Clients From Hell community for making me realize I'm not alone.
I’m a writer for a bank. Occasionally we send alerts to our customers over various platforms. My client asked me to write an alert for email, but specified that we weren’t sending SMS or push notifications.
The developer I was working with apparently didn't get that note. Or, more likely got it and ignored it - because this happened.
Dev: You are missing SMS and Push notification content. Please add the copy for SMS and Push into your document.
Me: Those aren’t a requirement for this alert and I was told not to add them. Please proceed with just email.
I assumed that was the end of it. A week later:
Dev: Please add the copy for SMS and Push into your document.
Me: This isn't sent yet? As previously mentioned, we are only supposed to write for email. I have CC’d the client, who has made it clear that we are only to write for email.
Client: Yes, this is true. Please proceed with the email.
A week later:
Dev: Please add the copy for SMS and Push into your document.
Me: We have reviewed this several times now, and the client has made it very clear we are not to write for email. Please either consult your team on the requirements or proceed with email.
Client: Confirming the above. Please proceed with email only - no changes to the copy document needed.
Two minutes later:
Dev: Please remove the copy for SMS and Push from your document.
My client was a music producer who brought me in to assist with an album project for a young singer with Broadway and tour credits as the unofficial contractor. I hired local musicians and played certain instrumental parts myself.
One song had been orchestrated by the tour musical director; the producer was very keen that our recorded version adhered perfectly to that score. We had a meeting with the manager to ensure nothing was overlooked.
Client: You'll notice that the percussion part specifies that these measures need to be played on a "mark tree".
These words were enunciated slowly, as if they were actually surrounded by quotes and might be misunderstood otherwise.)
Me: No problem. That's just bar chimes. We already have those.
Client: No, you don't understand. It specifically says that a "mark tree" is required here.
Me: "Mark Tree" is the official orchestral term for bar chimes. Really. They're the same thing. A mark tree is a set of bar chimes. This studio has two sets of them, and I even have a set of my own. We have everything we need.
Client: (turning away from me and towards the manager) We need to locate a "mark tree".
Our team was having a meeting with a client company about the use of their logo. Their manager insisted that their logo always be in black, no matter what color the background. Their in-house designer tried to explain the necessity of a reversed version of their logo. The manager slammed her hand on the table and yelled:
Client: You don't understand, it's about consistency!
She was wearing a shirt with their logo embroidered in pink.
Client: How much will this animation cost?
Me: It depends on the complexity. Could you show me the character you want to animate?
Client: Bro chill, why are you acting like an architect. I just want the price bro.
Me: I can't give you the price without knowing what you want. Do you go into a McDonalds and ask "What's the price" before ordering anything?
Client: You're weirding me out not gonna lie, why would you ask to see the character before giving me the price? You trying to steal my character?