I think it’s DISGUSTING that I have to buy a scanner just to get paper documents on the PC.I think it’s DISGUSTING that I have to buy…
Client: We want our staff to submit reports back to us. Can you create a spreadsheet for us with the columns they need to fill in? It’s just the daily takings etc.
Me: Sure can.
Client: Excellent. Can you install Adobe on the systems for me, or is it easier to convert the spreadsheet to a PDF, then turn it into a jpeg?
Me: Why would you need to do all that?
Client: So the staff can print off the spreadsheet, fill it in and fax it back to me.
Me: Okay, I think we should look at streamlining that process before going any further…
Me: Okay, I’ve built the website you requested! What do you think?
Client: NO! The website is in color! Don’t try to rip me off. I will NOT pay more for this.
Me: Uh… Why do you think I’m ripping you off?
Client: BECAUSE IT’S IN COLOR! I ALWAYS HAVE TO PAY MORE WHEN I GET MY FLYERS PRINTED IN COLOR!
That’s right – he assumed the same rules apply to web design as print media.
Google the logo, I just did and Google has it… choose the first option.Google the logo, I just did and Google has…
I saw an ad on Craigslist to write a Wikipedia article for a client because they “don’t know how to use a computer.”
Normally I would ignore this sort of thing, but they were offering $200 for the job and I needed the cash. I emailed my resume (professional freelance writer and editor), along with links to Wikia articles I’d written from the ground up – I’ve never really written a Wikipedia article in its entirety, so I figured that would make sense –whatever edits I’ve made on existing Wikipedia articles would be worth less than having 10,000+ word articles I’ve made all by myself on specialized subjects.
I guess I was wrong.
Client: That’s not Wikipedia! That’s a copycat site—what are you trying to pull?
You know, you guys are never under budget. Why is it that you always come in at around the estimated fee you sent to us?You know, you guys are never under budget. Why…
Why does this look so elongated compared to the previous proof?The client, after asking me to replace three landscape photos with new portrait oriented photos.Why does this look so elongated compared to the…
I’m working with a city government. We spent weeks in big meetings mapping out goals for a new website.
I finished the site and got paid. BUT, it took over a year for them to make up their mind to take it live.
Turns out they wanted to implement things like fully responsive dynamic content, useful apps, etc – all things I told them they needed in the first place but which they opted not to include.
Once the site finally went live, they asked me to start from scratch.
Twist ending though: they’re going to pay me to do it again! So I guess maybe they’re their own client from hell?
I’m supposed to design a campaign with the logo of the company I work for and the one of the company we’re associated with so I ask them for their logo (I have one version of it in vector format but they wanted to use their new version) and receive a 100 x 115 px JPG and PNG logo. I proceed to call them to ask for a vector file.
Client: What do you mean a vector file? What’s that? Doesn’t PNG work for you? It has a transparent background!
Me: I would need either an .AI or .PDF file of your logo since an image can’t be resized any bigger without losing quality. Could you please ask if you have that version? The designer who did that logo must have it.
Client: No, that’s all we have. But let me export the PNG logo to PDF so you can work with that one.
Client: Look, there’s even a website where I can export it to different formats! Hold on…
He starts reading the exporting formats (they were all image formats) and got excited when he read .GIF as if he exported the logo it would move.
I made a promotional video for a client. I found a perfect song for background use, but it was watermarked with a woman’s voice saying “this is a watermark. Please buy a license to remove this voice sample.”
Me: Do you like the song I used?
Client: No! It had a woman talking through the whole thing for some reason.