Me: What the fuck?
Client: Sorry, my cat got onto the key-board
Ok, can you make the website accept only mails from the big corporations, then?
Can we change the black and white images on the website to color? I don’t want visitors to the site to think we can’t afford color.
Client: I’d like to create a place where photographers can post their photos and everyone can go to the site and look at them. It will be like a portfolio.
Developer: Sounds great, but there are already great sites out there for this (Flickr, DeviantArt, etc). How will yours be different?
Client: Ahh, you see there is a flaw with all of those websites.
Developer: What’s that?
Client: On those sites, anyone can download the photos by right clicking. I need you to build me a site that won’t let users download the photos.
Developer: I’ll have to get back to you….
Since I’m paying for this magazine, I don’t want any wasted space. Please get rid of those margins and take the text all the way to the edges of the page. You can use my vacation pictures to fill any extra space.
Do you have a little extra time so we can go through about 50 designs we found that we like? We just figured it was easier for you to take the best pieces from all of them and put them together.
We need a quotation about our next project - but it is still top secret so I can’t tell you anything.
Well, if it’s going to be that much I’ll just open up Microsoft Word and do it myself.
Client: I want to hire you. I applied on elance but most only know basic layout skills. How much do you charge?
Me: Looking at the requests, I would charge about $500 as it requires a lot of work.
Client: But on elance, they were able to do it for $150-$200
Me: They have basic layout skills.