The client and I had just begun our meeting when he pulled is iPad out and started playing elevator/baby-making music at the highest possible volume. I laughed at first, thinking he was kidding…except this continued for the next 30 minutes during our meeting. It was an extremely awkward situation, for all 20 of us in the office.
Client: “Why haven’t you changed the website yet? I gave you the information an hour ago! You’re so slow, I might have to think about other options.”
Me: “Have you tried refreshing your browser?”
Client: “Ah, much better, you’re fast!”
“What is a ballpark estimate for getting my site ranked first on Google for the keyword ‘Google’?“
Me: “We’ll send the PDF file over this afternoon.”
[An hour later]
Client: “OK. Do you know what time the cab will be here with the PDF file?”
Client: “Is there any way you could bring your computer here and I could just show you what I’m talking about? Like ‘move this here, move that there’?"
Me: (long pause) "My work station is immovable.”
As a company, we’re all about change. The marketplace is always changing and people are constantly evolving. We’re about innovation. We were thinking of having several logos, all rotating on the homepage; no more than twelve but no fewer than 8 – we want to keep things fresh.
We shouldn’t assume that everyone knows what a hyperlink is.
Client: “I want to be honest with you. The money that I’m budgeting for this project doesn’t come from this business. It comes from my porn chat. You know, I have a phone sex business. But I don’t need marketing and design for the porn business. Nobody wants to admit they use it even though everybody does. Anyway, that’s where they money comes from. So I make a lot of money.”
Client: “This layout looks absolutely amazing; I completely love it! However, my husband is from Germany and so he has a natural born sense of design (I’m from the South, so I have to trust what he thinks) and he doesn’t like it at all. He’ll be calling you shortly with his revisions.”
The Word document that you sent me looks different in Word 2007 and Word 2003. Please make it the same. Thanks.