The client wanted packaging and ads for disposable razors designed. She wanted to develop a look aimed at the preteen age market. True story.
I was doing database work for a securities litigator, who once ran over and said, “OK, you have one week to show mathematically that $350,000 is more than $1,500,000.”
Can you make this jingle sound more brown?
I definitely want some scrolling phrases going across the screen on every page. Can you do that, maybe above a blinking photo of me in my catering gear?
“I want it to appeal to a soccer mom with twins, but remain unisex. I’m thinking gold with diamonds.”
Client: “We like the green, but it’s just a little too green. Can you use our green?”
Me: “That is your green.”
Client: “Oh, well it looks more limey. We want it more like our green.”
Me: “The limey green is your green. It is exactly what is used on your logo type.”
Client: “Oh, okay, well then can you change it by one?”
Me: “One what? Do you want it lighter, or darker?”
Client: “No, just change it by one.”
Me: “I don’t understand what ‘change it by one’ means. I can make it lighter, darker, more yellow, more cyan… But when I change it, it’s not going to be the same as your corporate green.”
Client: “Okay, well let’s just change it by one and have a look.”
On 17 Dec, a manager from accounting department asked me to design a birthday card for her friend.
Her: “I want you to put Snowman, or Santa Claus and another Christmas ornaments on it.”
Me: “It would look like a christmas card then, not a birthday card.”
Her: “But Christmas is Jesus’ birthday.”
Client: “The other day I saw on this website that whenever a mouse pointer moved a word followed it. And they would spin and blast out and come back.”
Me: “Yeah…those were popular in the late 90’s.”
Client: “Can you do that with our mission statement?”
Me: “You mean, like the full paragraph blasting around the site whenever the browser would move his mouse?”
Client: “Yeah, also since it’s winter can you make it look like it’s snowing on the webpage?”