I was designing a poster for a client. He rejected every design I gave him, and insisted that I adhere to an awful layout he’d made in Word.
Client: It looks very unprofessional. It looks like I designed it.
Me: That’s right. You designed it.
I do some web development pro bono for a guy who had a rocky start in adult life. It’s very light work – two static sites of four pages in total – but it’s played a part in his keeping straight for 20 years.
He’d recently gotten a new email address that he wanted me to link on his site. The new address was [xxx]decorators@[yyy].[zzz] –or so I thought. When I tested it, it bounced. When I checked his request again I spotted a problem, which I pointed out. Here is his reply:
Client: by the way I spelt [xxx]decoraters with a e not o that is how i spell it lol
Not a “client from hell” per se, but I laughed.
Client: (in a
Thick Scottish Accent) See, I want my logo to have a picture of me in the
middle of a Celtic badge plastering a wall. Right? Then, picture this. I want a
Kangaroo wearing the Celtic top, holding the badge with a football at its feet.
Me: (hangs up)
[gallery]
The
best part about my new mug is using dry erase markers while on the phone with
bad clients
Is there any way we can see what the end result would be before committing to additional cost?Is there any way we can see what the…
A small company hired me to design their logo and during the initial consultation it became clear that they wanted the logo to include a photograph of all 27 of the firm’s employees. They wanted this logo to appear on their business cards, naturally. I suggested that a logo half an inch wide containing that many people would just be an incomprehensible blur.
Client: Just use Unsharp Mask, that’ll make it look clear. How long have you been using Photoshop anyway?
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I got these texts while my wife was in labor with our child. I’d set the auto-response on my email to let people know that was my situation, and that I’d get back to them as soon as humanly possible.
Client: Yur having a baby???
Client: I need those files ASAP.
The best part was the Client needed files to clean up a mess they’d just created on their own.
I work as a freelance illustrator for a number of publishers including a couple of magazines every month. So I do get contacted regularly about other work. One older gentleman contacted me for doing a cover design for his book.
Client: Unfortunately, my book is being produced on a budget. But you’ll get exposure and if you want, I’ll give you a discounted rate on the book when it comes out.
Me: I’m sorry, there’s no way I’m doing it for a discount on a book.
Client: Look, before I retired I was a technical illustrator. I know how hard it is to get out there when you’re just starting. This job could lead to more commissions when people see your work!
The funny thing is, I’ve been an illustrator for over a decade, and have more than enough work to keep me busy. He even contacted me because he saw my (paid) work in a magazine. It’s bad enough that he wouldn’t even give me a free copy of his book as payment – it’s worse that he somehow thought I was “starting out.”
Hard pass.
Marcus Blankenship and Bryce Bladon discuss the pros and cons associated with each way to bill your client. From hourly to monthly, there’s a correlation with how much money – and how much stress – you can expect with each.
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