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SUBMIT STORY

I was working with a local shop owner to help her set up an online store.

Client: I need you to advertise the website for me.

Me: Okay, I’ll need a budget in order to do that.

Client: No, google marketing is too expensive, could you just advertise on the Facebook page?

Me: I can, but you’ll have to give me administrator privileges for the page.

Client: I’m not really comfortable giving you that kind of access. Could you just post it there yourself?

Me: I don’t think you want my personal Facebook account all over your store page. How about I send you appropriate links and you copy and paste them?

Client: That’s too complicated for me, can’t you just do it?

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Client: So we’ll lock in the job in for Feb 20th in Brisbane. We can pick you up from the airport. 

Me: Sounds good. I’ll book my flights now.

February 20th.

Me: I’m about to board. I’ll be in Brisbane in two hours. Can you still pick me up?

Client: We’re actually on the Gold Coast at the moment. Can you make it here?

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Client: I have this great idea for an app!

Me: Sure you do.

Client: It’s called “Revenge.”

Me: Huh. That’s actually a pretty good title. What does it do?

Client: Well, I was thinking that would be your job.

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Client: Can you convert this PDF to a PPT file?

Me: Yes, but it probably won’t be that useful to do that.

Client: That’s fine. Here’s the file.

He sends me a PPT that CONTAINS the PDF he wants converted back to Powerpoint.

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A potential client phoned me seeing if I’d produce a pilot episode for him: a paranormal “reality” show set in a “legitimate” haunted house. He needed me to run casting, shooting, editing, and basically every job other than coming up with the idea and the location.

Client: I can’t really afford to pay you for this, BUT I make a mean batch of weed brownies.

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A writer’s boyfriend belittles her work; a designer claims freelancing caused her partner to end their relationship. 

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Episode Summary

Bryce is up in arms when a freelance writer requests advice for dealing her non-supportive partner. Jealousy, entitlement, and a lack of self-esteem are at the heart of the issue. 

A designer claims their partner doesn’t appreciate the realities of freelancing, and as a result, their relationship falls apart. Excuses and poor boundaries are explored. 

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Questions? Episode ideas?

Talk to Clients From Hell or Bryce Bladon on Twitter. Or shoot us an email! 

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We finished mocking-up a website design for a client based on their brief and sent it to them.

Client: Thanks. I’ll have a look at it in a bit – in the meantime, here’s a sketch of what we want it to look like that I think we forgot to send before.

Attached: upside-down scan of scribble of bad, 90s style homepage layout.

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Client: I think I’m done here, I think I have all the feels I need.

Client: *FILES!

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We finished a huge branding project with a very short deadline for a well-known and important new client. We worked nights and weekends for a month straight to finish everything in time. The client was super happy with everything and agreed to our price for the overtime and short deadline.

Four months later they still hadn’t paid us. I call and the manager tells me that he can pay us only if we agree that the quoted price now includes the taxes (that is a 20% cut on our price). Of course, we said no. It has been another three months since then. They’ve paid only 30% of the total price so far.

They keep calling for new designs.

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