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SUBMIT STORY

When I first started working at a business as a contract graphic designer, the director of the company (who I'd never met before) approached me. This is verbatim our conversation.

Client: Do you know who I'm married to? The Owner of [another agency in town]. We met while working together awhile back. 

She said this boldly and defiantly, for some reason.

Me: Ah... oh. Wow.

I was kind of stunned that she was even bringing this up in our initial conversation as making a point of being dominant. 

Client: Well, I don't know how you got hired here. I just don't see it.

She said this in a boasting manner. I don't even know if she'd seen my work.

She had a wonderful way of alienating a new contractor on the job.

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Me: Here’s a moodboard filled with existing logos. Tell me which ones you like and don’t like and why.

Client: Okay, I like these  and I don’t like those.

Me: Great! I’m going to use your feedback to help me design custom logo concepts.

Client: Okay!

Me: Here are six logo concepts based on your feedback on the mood board

Client: I hate these logos and I hated everything on the mood board.

Me: Then why did you say you liked some of the ones on the mood board?

Client: Um...uh...I didn’t want to hurt your feelings

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Client: We need something fresh and original to stand out in 2020.

Me: Here are couple of designs.

Client: Looks great. But I think we should do something like this other company made.

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I work as a designer in a medium-size cosmetics company.  Sometimes I get offers from startups to make projects for their brand. Recently I got this good offer from one client who told me that he paid well and he lived close to me. 

Client: I have this new Luxury cosmetic I want it to go big. The product is great and it will make a lot of money.

I can't say the brand name but it had "Luxury" in the product line name.

Client: I want you to make marketing materials for it.

Me: So do you need a product design?

Client: No I already have it. I need you to promote it online. You use some luxury models and make it look like a product for rich people.

Me: ...Soooo can you show me the product?

The client opened his bag and put on the table the most standard cheap shampoo bottle you would find on a store shelf with a poorly designed logo and name with cheap "fake gold" gradient printing.

Me: ...

Client: Well, what do you think?

Me: I think it looks very cheap. the bottle is standard cheap plastic, the sticker has poor design and bad print quality.

Client: That is why I need you for. So you can make it look great on photos.

I turn the packaging around and read the ingredients. There was basically nothing unique about his formula, and it reproduced what you can find on store shelves.

Me: There is nothing special about the stuff you are selling. Why you are trying to make something for the Luxury market when there is nothing Luxury about your product.

His eyes bulged and his face got red with anger. I think I was the first person to push back with reality.

Client: Bu-bu-but there is...

Me: What ?

Client: The Name and the Price

At this point, I advised him not to waste money on his product and left.

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I was filming a music video for a client and when I had a first cut ready I sent it to him. He emailed me back.

Client: It looks OK but you made me look fat. Like I’m not that fat in real life. Re-edit this until I look normal.

Being fairly new to paid film work I complied. Re-edited from the ground up and emailed it back to him.

Client: Do you hate me or something? YOU make me look so fat.

Me: I’m just using standard angles and shots. I’m sorry but this is not my fault.

Client: You’re an asshole. Photoshop my gut out or I’m not paying you.

Editor's note: all bodies are beautiful. Not all clients are. 

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I had a meeting with a client a little over two weeks from Christmas. They asked for some work done and asked for an estimate as soon as possible. They wanted to get the work done by the end of the year.

I created an estimate and sent it for review. It was about two weeks’ worth of work.

Client: Estimate looks good. Looks like it’s two weeks of work then huh?

Me: Yep. I know you want this done by the end of the year but with the holidays that may not be possible.

Client: Well if you wanted, you could work during the holidays.

I laughed because I thought it was a joke. It wasn’t.

Client: Yeah you could come in on your own or even do the work from home if you want. Let me know.

He hung up before I could say anything.

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Client: Communication is a two-way street. That means if you say something and I don’t respond, it’s your job to make sure I respond.

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I met with a client yesterday, who we’ve been supporting on and off for a year or two. They are seldom responsive when we reach out, but when they contact us they expect next-day results.

They sent us a request for non-urgent revisions. I left answering for a day.

Client: We’re disappointed you didn’t respond immediately.

Me: It was non-urgent and I was juggling some other assignments. I still addressed them within 24 hours.

Client: We’re going to look for a provider who can respond immediately.

I should be upset, but losing that client meant I found another one who actually lives in reality.

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Customer: Is this product in?

Me: I’m sorry, it’s sold out at the moment

Customer: (doesn’t like my answer and approaches a more senior looking colleague while still within earshot) Is this product available?

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