A client wanted a movie clip inserted into the magazine.

I put the video clip thumbnail in the proof, assuming that's what they meant.

Client: I pressed the play button and nothing happened.

Uhhh... yeah. 

I work as a senior graphic designer at a printing company that also offers trade-show and display solution. One of our customers is a dentist and his wife is a holistic therapist. They are going to come to a show and they need a portable booth solution.

They sent me a number of photos for consideration. All of them were the cheesiest photos that almost every dentist office uses to advertise their denture business. Some of them have “Happy Valentine” wordings in the back of the couple, and some are more towards to “Funeral” service… They asked me to choose one out of them. I chose the one that less “dating” and “funeral” vibe and told them why I chose it. The next morning, his wife told me she wanted to use photo of a couple making a heart with their hands. My boss and I laughed, but we decided to go with what customer wants because, well, customer is king!

A week after, the booth was done and delivered to them. The wife suddenly called my boss at the end of today to tell him that she didn’t like the font used for the main slogan.

Client: I didn’t expect that font.

Me: But we had not heard from you saying that you didn’t like it. Didn’t you see the proof sent by my designer before you approved it?

Client: Yes I did, but I didn’t see the font.

Me: What about the printed proof? I showed it to you and your husband. It clearly show how the font looks like.

Client: Well, I asked 3 people in my office and none of them liked the font.

Me: But you approved it. Had we heard that you don’t like the font, we would have changed to the font you want.

Client: (10 seconds silence) …I still don’t like it.

Over the years I’ve done some work for my alma mater, primarily for student organizations, It’s typically easy stuff, a simple flyer here, a postcard there, and I don’t charge much (and it’s also great for my relatively thin portfolio).

As expected, the cheapest clients can sometimes be the worst but a lot of students are generally understanding. Recently however, I was working with a faculty member who sent me three emails in the space of an hour:

Client: Did I submit the flyers for print yet? It should be done by now.

Client: Here’s a typo in a name I submitted that I forgot to mention several emails ago.

Client: Please ad this sponsor logo. 

I’m in my late twenties, and I’m already going gray.

I attribute it to the number of times a clients has said “can’t you just use a placeholder?"  in the eleventh hour before going live.

We have a carpet pattern we needed approved and ordered last week to hit our deadline, and we got the following feedback this morning:

Client: I think your color palette is strong, but can we trade out colors A, B, C, F, and G?

IT'S A LITTLE LATE.

I’m working with a client, creating covers for study guides to other books.

Client: I want the covers to look exactly like the books they’re covering – enough that someone might be this instead of the original.

Me: That could be considered plagiarism. It would be much safer for me to come up with something similar, but different.

Client: I insist.

I spent too much time going through thirty revisions, each time getting closer and closer to the original designs. Finally, I send the 29th version, only to find out that one of the two people that have been receiving the versions didn’t actually understand that what they were receiving were ACTUALLY the book covers. This was after a month.

The primary client looked at the latest version and decides that the cover looks close enough to the text that it’ll work for now, “since once it goes to the publisher, they’re going to put their own cover on it anyways.”

Cue internal screaming. It’s still going. I’ll let you know when the screaming actually stops.

Client: I hope I didn’t offend you by asking you for free artwork for my project. I noticed you haven’t replied to my messages.

Their previous message:

Client: Here is a list of characters to draw. Please include all details. This is a personal project, so no payment will be made. If you MUST be paid, there might be some kind of arrangement, even if it’s just in exposure. This is for a project that I might proceed with.

Gee, I wonder why I didn’t respond.

Verbatim job board posting:

Client: Project Description: Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK??? Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK??? Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK??? Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK??? Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK??? Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK??? Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK??? Please do not apply for this job until you understand it…OK???

I CANNOT do Graphics therefore I need someone that can help me with MY IDEAS and To help me to create slides as I want/NEED them completed for my designs 1. I will send u the sketches as I want them designed. 2. You will assist me in creating the designs. 3. U must do UNLIMITED reviews as I do not want LAZY people working with me. 4. Upon COMPLETION of each series, I will pay u $5/new series…. so if it takes you ONE HOUR to complete … then you are averaging $5/hour, correct??? So the emphasis is on YOU!!! So if you are cooperative, we will do many designs… otherwise we will waste each others valuable time!!!! We will not tolerate ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL YOU DO A TEST ?????? Yes or NO ??? Do you understand the job offer now?

Hours of work: 40 Hr/week

Client: For this motion graphic video, I want the camera to turn around and show the laptop from the other side.

Me: Okay. Do you have a photo of the laptop from the other side?

Client: No, but doesn’t Photoshop do that? Hit the “other side” button or whatever.

I work for an interpreting agency where various companies and establishments request to have an interpreter present to help communicate with their clients. I received a call from one of those clients:

Client: We had an interpreter help us last week. I need to know what time he finished his assignment.

I pulled up the job on our system and noticed we haven’t received the completed time sheet for the interpreter’s services yet. Usually, either the interpreter or client send that in to us for billing purposes.

Me: Okay, well I don’t have the time sheet but do you know who was present and/or signed the interpreter out? They might know.

Client: I signed the interpreter out but I left early and he stayed. I just need to know his end time.

Me: You signed him out but you weren’t present? Usually, the client signs the interpreter out AFTER they’re finished with an assignment. Who was there after you left? 

Granted, I should’ve specified “who did he interpret for if you weren’t there?”

Client: No, it’s fine, I just won’t submit this to my boss. [hangs up]

So, apparently this client had an interpreter interpret for… nobody?