So I’m doing some design work for a tissue company that specializes in recycled paper. All their advertising promotes how eco-friendly they are. One print advertising has a picture of a forest on it with an eco-oriented recycling message:

Client: That picture is too harsh.

Me: I’m not sure I understand. Could you elaborate?

Client: That forest is too harsh!

Me: …

Client: There are too many pine trees in there.

Me: Ok… but what does that…

Client: We recycle paper to make our toilet papers, could you imagine wiping yourself with a pine tree?

I see pine trees symbolizing “eco-friendly” on all sorts of branding, including TP, and to answer the question – no, I’ve never imagined wiping myself with a pine tree because NO-ONE DOES.

From the Clients From Hell archives!

I showed a client an initial design package for their business based on what they'd said they wanted. I was really happy with the package I'd put together thinking it was a pretty innovative and attractive version of what they'd SAID they wanted. I walked them through my font choices for them, the palette I'd designed. 

Client: This is great work, but I'm not sure it's what I want. 

Me: That's fair! We can refine. This is my first pass based on what you said you wanted, though.

Client: I know I said I wanted this, but it's not what I actually wanted. I'd hoped you could see beyond my words. 

I'd say "there are no words" but I guess I'd have to see beyond them. 

Client: Can I get 1000 copies of a book shipped to a convention this weekend? I haven't quite finished layout yet.

Me: So, you are new to the whole print on demand concept I take it?

Client: The layout will be done Monday or Tuesday.

Me: After the convention you want to sell 1000 copies at is over?

Client: Yes, we'd like to make a big splash at the show. It'll be awesome.

Me: Yes, being able to time travel to the future to get the final version of the book would be awesome.

From the Clients From Hell archives!

I'd designed packaging for a client, and after final approval had sent the design to the printer with a greenlight to start printing.

Client: I had a second thought - could we change the wording on this tagline?

Me: No. No! It's being printed as we speak!

Client: Are you sure? It's a really small change. 

I work at a Land Development/Management firm in Corporate Planning, but since I am the only one there who can also do graphic design (because I’m a professional freelance graphic designer in my free time too), I was tasked to do the annual report. I was their de facto Photoshop person cum writer. I started writing for the 2014 Annual report and doing the layout for it in December of 2013. I then submitted the entire thing in January 2014 to my then boss because I knew it needed to be printed and released during the stockholder’s meeting in April 2014. I waited two months, but got no reply, so I submitted it again, March 18th, 2014. Still no reply. 

I waited for months, still no reply. I had assumed that they moved on with their lives and didn’t need it anymore.

Come September, my boss calls me into her office. She was holding another company’s Annual Report. She asked the other offices to get that for her so just she could provide some “inputs” to my design.

Then she asked me to redesign the whole thing, and sort of “copy” the look of the other company’s Annual Report and finish it in 3 days. As you can imagine, I wanted to kill her. It took me a month to do the previous incarnation and then it took her nine months to comment, then she asks me to redo the whole thing.

From the Clients From Hell archives!

I had a client for a website that was a total pain... calling every day at least 1-2 times with a question or a small modification. The last one was the greatest:

Client: I need a small text to be modified...

Me: Sure... I'm already on the website... what would you need?

Client: Can you cut two letters from the domain name? We thought it would look nicer...

Me: No, that's impossible. We need to order another domain.

Client: But I already ordered business cards...

Client: The design is great, let's go ahead with it.

Me: Yeah sure, as long as there are no further amendments?

Client: No, I love it!

Me: Okay, but I am *still* waiting on content from you. I will build it with dummy content.

One week later, when the site was built:

Me: Here is the site. Can you please review it and give me any feedback that you have. Please bear in mind that you still need to provide the correct content.

Client: Site looks great, can we go live?

Me: No, the content has not been fully delivered yet so the site is littered with dummy content. Please can you provide the content you would like and all the testimonials please?

Client: But can we not go live with how it is, and add in the content and testimonials later? I like the testimonials as they are.

Me: *Head* *Desk*

From the Clients From Hell archives!

From an internal email chain...

Client 1: How do I find links to these two pages?

Client 2: Ask the developer.

For the record I do not post the content to their website. They forwarded the email to me.

Client 1: Hey, where are these two web pages?

Me: (confused) ...On your website?

Client 2: Do you have links to them?

Me: (still confused) The pages are on your website. I'm pretty sure they have been there for almost 3 years.

Client 1: But I need links.

Client 2: Please send us links.

TL;DR: they were too lazy to search for two pages on their own website... two pages that they also have links to in more than 50% of the emails they send out on a recurring basis.

Some clients are so very, deeply, incredibly lazy. What's your story of a client who couldn't lift a finger?