“After spending some time with a potential client interested in web design work, I finally asked him about his budget for the project. His response was, "Oh, actually I won’t be paying you. I thought you wouldn’t mind working for the networking opportunities.”
“I need you to design a nice [insert print project here] and print it for me. But I need to be able to edit it myself in the future, so can you do it in Microsoft Word?”
“Early in my career someone who’d Id previously done work passed my information to a friend. This friend operated a cleaning business and he needed an over-sized mailer. Everything went smoothly up until the end he asked if I could somehow superimpose an image of a vagina onto the mailer..”
Client: We like Comic Sans
“I don’t understand why this Flash stuff cost so much and takes so long to build. Can’t I do the same thing in PowerPoint in a few hours?”
Client says they want a design that is “open and airy” so I show them one with lots of white space. They respond by saying, “yeah, but can you remove all that empty area?”
A lady asked me to scan in a photo of her dead husband in a fishing boat. Once that was done she asked me to use Photoshop to turn the man’s face so it was facing the camera.
Clients don’t always read the emails. They just look at the pretty pictures.
Me (1:30pm) : Hey [client], attached are the final comps for your bookmarks. They are now updated with the identifying color schemes to match each topic. Don’t worry about the little black hash marks in the corners, those WILL NOT print. They are there so that the printing guys can reference how to set them up for press. I need your approval by 4pm today to get these back by EOD tomorrow.
Client (4:15pm): Hey B, what’s up with the little black marks in the corners? I don’t get it. Why did you add them to the design? Please remove them and send me another proof. Oh, and do you think the printing guys can move up the delivery time to noon tomorrow?
A marketing manager from a convention and event centre contacted me about retouching some event images taken during a speaking series, to have them repurposed for use in a upcoming newsletter about the past season’s notable speakers and events. In particular were some images of a semi-famous climber who had lost his arm during one of his climbs and was now doing motivational speaking engagements.
When going over the job specifications it was eventually revealed to me that the specific item that needed to be retouched was that they wanted to add his arm back into the picture.Somewhat shocked at the request, I asked him to explain more specifically what he needed, just in case I had misunderstood.
His reply, to my even greater dismay was, “I don’t see how I can be any more clear, just make a copy of his right arm, reverse it, and stick it on his left shoulder, we don’t want to alienate our attendees by putting a depressing picture in the newsletter”
“Right next to this ‘GET STARTED TODAY’ button, could we add a sentence like 'click here now’ and add an arrow pointing to the button… I’m just worried that people don’t know where to click the button”