Client: I feel like the current design you did is great, but it’s not serious enough. Thoughts?
Me: Can you be more specific on what do you mean by not serious enough?
Client: I’m not sure how to elaborate. Something more corporate? Maybe?
Me: That helps, but “corporate” doesn’t give a clear idea on what or how you would like the design to be. If you are not sure how to explain what needs to change, perhaps you could give me an example or reference?
Client: If I have to give specific feedback, I might as well do your job for you. Thanks anyways.
After sending in hundreds of lines of dialogue for a mobile game…
Client: We market-tested your dialogue and the testers didn’t like it. Can you change the whole thing?
Me: What didn’t they like about it?
Client: They just didn’t laugh. Please fix it and have it to me by tomorrow.
Client: We need you to design an app for our company - something that will put our logo on people’s phones.
Me: Okay. What would you like the app to do?
Client: Keep me from losing my job.
Me: Here are some logo samples.
Me: I’m not sure what you mean by really. Are you asking if they’re there, or is there something you specific about the mock-ups you don’t like, such as fonts, color, or overall design?
Client: If I have to tell you how to do your job, I don’t need you.
I was hired to design a booklet.
Client: This is okay, but I want to see it in a simpler, bolder font and without the gradient on the cover (in addition to a few other very specific changes).
Me: No problem, I’ll send the revised files tomorrow.
I send the revised files.
Client: I don’t like this new version at all.
Me: I’m sorry, I thought I implemented all your changes. What would you like to see instead?
Client: You’re the designer. You should be creative and not take what I say so literally. You should push back if you think something else will work better.
Me: (ggmmhrpphh) Okay, sure. I’ll send some new ideas over.
I send over more versions.
Client: I really don’t like this. You’re not listening. I don’t understand why you didn’t just do what I asked you to do the first time.
"Looking for something fresh. I would say smart fun, good colors, smooth, edgy-with-restraint, innovative but familiar, subdued classic with updated flair but not flash. Bold and outgoing. Nothing exaggerated but don’t be afraid to go over the top."
"Can you professionalize my logo?"
"I saw something on TV, either BBC 1, 2, 3, 4, Channel 4 or Channel 5. Maybe something sports-related. It had triangles… Can you do something like that for me?"
What I really need you to do is give the home page more pizzazz, and give the inside pages a little “umpf”.
Client: Can you make it wider?
Me: We can’t make it wider without making the text column next to it narrower.
Client: Not side to side wider, up and down wider.