Clients from Hell

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July 18, 2014

Me: Since we are on such a tight schedule, could you please be more precise when giving me feedback on this?

Client: It needs to look a bit nicer. 

July 17, 2014
"It looks wrong. It should look right."
July 05, 2014
"Can you please add “today” at the end of the pitch? It should be emphasized, but not as a dictatorial order (e.g. Hitler-style). In a way gentler than Hitler, please."
July 01, 2014

Me: Can I get you to make me a visual palette of colors you’d like, so I can have a better idea of what to work off of?

Client: Golden-orangey, black-like blue, purplish-blue, berry purple, dusky gray-purple.

June 29, 2014

Client: Can we make it sound more green?

Me: You mean, like, environmentally friendly?

Client: No, like the colour. 

June 27, 2014

After taking a client through my design:

Client: Can I make a suggestion?

Me: Sure.

Client: No.

Me: Pardon?

Client: No. Just no.

Me: To everything I just showed you?

Client: Yeah. No.

June 26, 2014

Client: Can you make it less black, like half black?

Me: Do you mean grey?

Client: No. Less black.

Me: Well there’s black or there’s no black.

Client: We want black, we just want the black to be less black. Like half.

June 21, 2014
"Looks good, but can we womp it up a little?"
June 15, 2014
"When you get a chance, can you send me the company logo in Vortex format? Thanks!"
June 07, 2014
"I want the website to have a white background, but I want it to look dark"