Clients from Hell

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June 21, 2014
"Looks good, but can we womp it up a little?"
June 15, 2014
"When you get a chance, can you send me the company logo in Vortex format? Thanks!"
June 07, 2014
"I want the website to have a white background, but I want it to look dark"
June 04, 2014

A client wanted a design done for a Halloween tasting event benefiting a charity group.

Client: …we want something like a ghost with a martini.

I sent two versions combining alcoholic drinks with classic Halloween imagery. The client told us that they weren’t happy with the designs.

Client: We want a ghost with a martini, but we don’t want there to be alcohol because this is a kid-friendly event. And we don’t want there to be a ghost because that’s too scary. But something like a ghost with a martini.

May 31, 2014
"I want you to use a more collaborative font please."
May 27, 2014

A client calls me up regarding a design that was finalized a week ago.

Client: I like the layout, but can you dial up the cool factor?

Me: Can you help me understand what you mean by that?

Client: I don’t know, just make it cooler. But don’t change it too much - my boss has already approved it.

Me: I’m not sure how to help.  Can you give me some guidance?

Client: Yes, just dial up the cool factor.

The client then hangs up. 

May 25, 2014

Client: I want something original and unique. You know? Something never seen before.

I deliver a completely custom design.

Client: What is this?

Me: You said you wanted something original and unique.

Client: Yeah, but I meant something everybody would recognize. Couldn’t you just use an existing design or template?

May 17, 2014
"The text is too texty."
May 16, 2014

After coming back from vacation, I was just starting to catch up with all my emails when a fresh one arrived…

Client: I don’t like the designs you’ve sent over, please change them.

Me: What do you not like about them specifically? Can you give me some more details?

Client: Please refer to my email from Monday, I don’t have time at the moment.

I go and check out the email with feedback she’d sent on Monday only to find that it reads as follows:

Client: Hi, I don’t like this design - please change it.

May 15, 2014

Me: Okay, so we want larger thumbnails. Do you want two or three thumbnails per row?

Client: How about somewhere between 2 and 3?