Client: I don’t know… I don’t like the blue and white together.
Me: What’s the problem with the colors?
Client: It looks Argentinean
Me: So?
Client: And the new pope its Argentinean and we are not a religious firm. So, please, change all the colors.
May 23, 2013
I was working as a producer for a client who brought in a pool of actors they wanted to use in an upcoming production.
Me: I noticed you have some Asian talent in your headshots you sent us. Do you know what ethnicity they are?
Client: I think this one is Japanese, this one - I think - is Cambodian, and this girl may be Korean.
Me: Do any of them speak their native language?
Client: I think they all speak a little Asian, yeah.
May 22, 2013
"What’s with this invoice? When it comes down to it, all you did was deal with some words, colours, and shapes."
Me: Did you want it printed in CMYK or RGB?
Client: Let’s do RGB, we’re trying to save money.
Me: Trying to save money?
Client: Yeah, three colours should do it. No need to spring for a fourth.
May 21, 2013
"The sign needs to be a vertical oval, not a horizontal oval like the one you made. But keep the same dimensions - 18” high by 36” wide."
"Inform the Googles we’re launching!"
May 20, 2013
Me: Just a heads up, if you log onto our website, you can see that the site is down. My publisher has been unreliable and I am working as quickly as I can to get the site back up. I’m so sorry for this; I’ll let you know when the article is posted as soon as possible.
Client: Okay. What’s the website again? Sorry.
I give him the URL.
Client: Hey, it says the page is broken!
Me: I just told you it’s down.
Client: I thought you meant it’s DOWN like FRESH! I won’t have this!
"Make the words fly!"
May 19, 2013
"How does someone right-handed left click?"
Client: The site isn’t working right.
Me: That’s strange.
I download a page and take a look at the code.
Me: It looks like a bunch of the code is missing. Did you have anyone modify the site?
Client: No, nothing like that.
Me: Well there are entire chunks of code missing that was there yesterday.
Client: Oh yeah, that was me, some of the code seemed unnecessary. Back to the issue at hand, why isn’t the site working?
