A client kept trying to send me a higher resolution photo, but I kept getting the same size e-mailed to me.
Client: I don’t get it! I click the % to enlarge the picture in Photo Viewer before I send it.
January 27, 2012
January 26, 2012
I asked a client to send me either a PDF or a picture of her website idea. She sent me a PDF, containing a picture of another PDF.
After sending two invoices for payment, I sent another and called the client when the receipt that they had received it came back.
Client: Why are you calling me?
Me: You haven’t paid and this is the third invoice I’ve sent.
Client: It’s even more than the last one!
Me: Yes. The contract you signed stated that I would add a late fee for payment.
Client: You mean I have to actually pay you? I thought you were joking!
Me: What on earth made you think that?
Client: You’re a freelancer!
Me: And…
Client: Well, you work for free! If you were supposed to be paid, you’d be called a paidlancer or something!
January 25, 2012
"Can you design our website so it prints in landscape format?"
"I’ve decided on the photos that I would like you to use on the website. They are attached to this email. Please send them back when you’re finished as they are my only copies. Thanks!"
January 24, 2012
A client has various business areas which are identified by acronyms, including LAP, EQP and FAP. They wanted some new online adverts made up. I asked what ideas they’d had for the text. This is what they came back with
FAP online (everyone is doing it)
FAP in schools
FAP for life.
A client was particularly anxious about receiving a video file before the end of the day.
Client: I need another ETA on the upload.
Me: It says there is half an hour left to encode the video, then I’m guessing 10-15 minutes to upload.
Client: Okay, thanks.
Me: Do you need it for a screening tonight or something?
Client: No, we need to Fedex it to someone who doesn’t understand the internet.
January 23, 2012
Client: Why isn’t this site working?! We have a meeting in a few hours and we can’t send them a broken site! Is it the network or do we need to buy a security certificate like it says in the error? Is this something IT needs to take care of or is this your department? Is it because of our firewall or is the site just down? I tried in IE and
Firefox.
Me: You added a period at the end of the URL. Remove it and it should work.
Client: Oh. You should let me know when punctuation doesn’t apply.
"Be sure to put every letter of the alphabet in the URL. I want my site to come up on that address bar list no matter what they start typing in there."
January 22, 2012
Client: I can’t seem to find the search box, can you please make sure it’s working?
Me: The search box is in the top left hand corner of every page.
Client: Is that on your left or my left?
