I got these texts while my wife was in labor with our child. I’d set the auto-response on my email to let people know that was my situation, and that I’d get back to them as soon as humanly possible.
Client: Yur having a baby???
Client: I need those files ASAP.
The best part was the Client needed files to clean up a mess they’d just created on their own.
I work as a freelance illustrator for a number of publishers including a couple of magazines every month. So I do get contacted regularly about other work. One older gentleman contacted me for doing a cover design for his book.
Client: Unfortunately, my book is being produced on a budget. But you’ll get exposure and if you want, I’ll give you a discounted rate on the book when it comes out.
Me: I’m sorry, there’s no way I’m doing it for a discount on a book.
Client: Look, before I retired I was a technical illustrator. I know how hard it is to get out there when you’re just starting. This job could lead to more commissions when people see your work!
The funny thing is, I’ve been an illustrator for over a decade, and have more than enough work to keep me busy. He even contacted me because he saw my (paid) work in a magazine. It’s bad enough that he wouldn’t even give me a free copy of his book as payment – it’s worse that he somehow thought I was “starting out.”
Hard pass.
Marcus Blankenship and Bryce Bladon discuss the pros and cons associated with each way to bill your client. From hourly to monthly, there’s a correlation with how much money – and how much stress – you can expect with each.
—
Freelance? Want to make more money?
We have a new book out called Hell to Pay.
It’s everything a freelancer needs to know about money, like how to bill clients, negotiate rates, and make most the most money for the least time.
CHECK IT OUT
(save nearly 50% as we celebrate the launch!)
—
Clients From Hell on iTunes | Soundcloud
Subscribe on iTunes | Android | RSS
Client: So, how do I visit my new website?
Me: Just type the address in the bar.
Client: Do you mean my work address? Or where I live?
I was working on the new website for a client. They hadn’t produced any copy text yet, so I used Lorem Ipsum as placeholder.
I received a call at 3:45 am.
Client: Why are you sleeping?! We have emergency here!
Me: It’s almost 4 am here. What’s wrong?
Client: Don’t play jokes on me! My partner just saw the website! We are Christians, so this is not acceptable! Pull the whole thing down ASAP!
Me: (confused) What… what do you mean?
Client: We’re Christian! We won’t have satanic verse on our website.
Me: (with dawning realization) Oh… that’s just Lorem Ipsum. It’s latin.
Client: Take it down! We won’t stand for it!
This week’s Mighty Deal is 57 hand-drawn fonts, 230 textures and brushes, and hundreds of extra design elements for $29 – that’s a savings of $350 off the usual price!
You can use these fonts, textures, brushes and more on any number of personal or professional projects. They come from Tom Chalky, a designer renowned for his hand-crafted design assets.
This Mighty Deal normally sells for $379, but for a limited time, you can get all 57 fonts, 230 textures and 100s of extras for just $29! That’s a ludicrous saving of 92% ($350) off the regular price!
This is a version of a conversation I have with my clients every week.
Client: Hi, I’m looking to have a website designed and developed. Please include THESE SPECIFIC FEATURES. How much would that be?
Me: I have just reviewed your request and based on what you have SPECIFICALLY ASKED ME TO DO, I will charge this amount.
Client: Oh, brilliant! Could you please send me a summary of what is included within the price so we can move on?
Me: Is this some kind of sick joke? Do you really think I’m going to charge for work you didn’t ask me to do?
I interviewed for a
small graphic design job at a local newspaper while I was in high school,
several years ago. I’d been working with Photoshop and Paint Shop Pro for some
time at that point. The interviewer asked me to make a test ad for a retirement
home to see my skills. I created the ad, explained my choices, and the interviewer
seemed very pleased with my work.
I didn’t hear anything about the job for a few weeks, so I figured I didn’t get
it. Lo and behold, one day I opened the paper and discovered that they’d used
my design without my knowledge.
I’m happy to report that this paper didn’t last very long.
I worked for a very famous art director. He was a great designer, but he knew nothing about computers or any kind of technology, and that was always making him very nervous with everybody. He once called me 8 AM on a Saturday, screaming that I had broken his computer and I had to run over to fix it ASAP. I cabbed over, shelling out what money I had to fix this quickly and keep a good working relationship with him.
The problem? He was using his wireless mouse upside down.