February 10, 2012

I gave a client statistics regarding an online application we created.

Client: 80% of app-users? 80% out of what?

Me: Out of all app-users. It’s out of 100%.

Client: Well, it could be out of 1000%. Please be more detailed with your data. 

"Let’s sync our servers. My current server time is 13:38:29"
February 09, 2012

I was cutting out some foamboard for a client. 

Client: No no no! We need three right arrows and two left arrows! Not the other way around! 

I turned one of the extra left arrows 180 degrees.

Client: How’d you do that?

"Do that thing they do on CSI and it should be fine."

— A client adamant that an image can’t be too pixelated to be blown up. 

February 08, 2012

Client: Hey, I want to cancel the project so If you could just give me a full refund of my non-refundable deposit and we’ll both go our separate ways

Me: I’m afraid the non-refundable deposit can’t be returned.

Client: What? Why?

Me: It’s non-refundable.

Client: Well I didn’t know that!

"Can you try a more serious font here? No offense, but your font choices are pretty gay."

The incredibly talented Tumblr theme shop, Pixel Union, has done an interview with us for their new web series, Tumblin’. Check it out!

February 07, 2012

Croptastrophe

Client: I really like the blue card with the white text. I also liked the little squares you put in the corners on the white card.

I was confused for a second, until I realized he liked the crop marks in the corners of the spec design. 

"We would like you to manage our website. We’ve previously had a dream weaver to do it, but he has started college and is too busy to work on it."
February 06, 2012

Client: Hi, I’m about to get on a plane and won’t be in touch the rest of the day. There’s a new project that I’ve got someone handling, they’ll call later on and let you know what’s needed. They need to check with some guys over the weekend to get all our ducks in a row, but then we should be good to go.

Me: Well, Ok. What’s the deadline on this?

Client: Literally, immediately.

Me: I’m visiting my parents this weekend - I wouldn’t be able to start until Monday.

Client: I find it hard to believe you don’t have some free time before you leave.

Me: Is that you at Gate 48?

Client: …We’ll be in touch on Monday.