I received an email at 3PM on a Thursday asking for a flyer by Monday. 

Me:  I have a full queue right now. To be honest, I don’t quite understand the terminology you’re using. Can we meet tomorrow about this project?

Client:  I’ll be on vacation tomorrow but will be back on Monday.

Me:  So you need this now? 

Client:  Let me know when you have time to talk about it.  How’s Monday?

Me: I thought this needed to be done by Monday. 

Client: Yes.

D*mn Autocorrect

A few minutes after sending a text message to a client explaining that the work wasn’t finished, I received a phone call from him asking if I was upset. Re-reading my message I realized why he received that impression:

Me: I just finished creating the video tutorials from the user side. I will do the damn video tutorials tonight.

I meant to say “admin video.”

I gave a client statistics regarding an online application we created.

Client: 80% of app-users? 80% out of what?

Me: Out of all app-users. It’s out of 100%.

Client: Well, it could be out of 1000%. Please be more detailed with your data. 

I was cutting out some foamboard for a client. 

Client: No no no! We need three right arrows and two left arrows! Not the other way around! 

I turned one of the extra left arrows 180 degrees.

Client: How’d you do that?

Client: Hey, I want to cancel the project so If you could just give me a full refund of my non-refundable deposit and we’ll both go our separate ways

Me: I’m afraid the non-refundable deposit can’t be returned.

Client: What? Why?

Me: It’s non-refundable.

Client: Well I didn’t know that!