Client: I like this design, but the reflection in your mirror rendering is a little confusing. Could you just show it as a mirror color?
Me: You mean a like a gradient grey?
Client: No, I don’t want them to think we’re giving them artwork there. Just use a mirror color.
Me: Sure! Do me a favor though? Head into the bathroom and look at the mirror in there. Report back and tell me what color it is, and I’ll use that.
Client: Can you revise the employee guidebook for me?
Attached was the entire 50-page guidebook file, titled guidebook_with_revisions.
Me: I can’t seem to see the changes or proposed revisions. Can you highlight them?
Client: I thought I did.
Client: Well, I can’t now, and I don’t remember what they were.
"I think I’m going to be good at this computer stuff. I play the piano, so, y’know, that probably carries over."
Me: Here are the edits you requested.
Client: This is much better. Though, can we put a lighter colour behind the navigation tabs, as opposed to white?
A client wanted a new logo. Something totally different, but ‘really trendy’. They wanted a total departure from the current logo. When I asked for information regarding target audience, style, company information, etc., they were ‘too busy’ and they said I had complete creative freedom.
After having the client approve some typefaces, colours and shapes, I was told to avoid round shapes and the current colour scheme. I sent my first mockup. Three days later, I received an email.
Client: This is what we’ll consider to be the new logo.
Attached was an image of the old logo, with a circle around it.
Client: I’m getting taken to a not found  page when I click on this link. Can you fix it?
Me: Sure, what is it supposed to link to?
Client: Oh, I haven’t created that page yet.
"Wife’s affair and illegitimate child."
On an intake form, under “topics client wants to avoid”
Me: You can type the street number and name here
Client: Do I put a period or comma?
Me: You don’t type any punctuation in this field.
Client: Should I type a comma or spell out “comma”.
"I saw something on TV, either BBC 1, 2, 3, 4, Channel 4 or Channel 5. Maybe something sports-related. It had triangles… Can you do something like that for me?"