This conversation occurred after receiving a retainer check that was short $1000 from the agreed upon amount, and had a post-it stuck to it informing me that they had decided to pay me in cash.

Client:  We decided to pay you in cash, which means that we can have a 20% - 30% discount on your services.

Me:  How so?

Client:  Well, since you won’t report the income, that will save you money.  We figure that you’re in a 30% tax bracket, so we can certainly reduce your fee by that amount as you would be making more money.

Me:  That’s not how it works.

Client:  Oh yes it is.

Me:  Um, I am not in the practice of giving cash discounts, plus, you just sent me a check.

Client:  You mean you won’t do this?

Me:  No.

Client:  So you’re trying to rip me off?

Me:  You were the one who decided to pay cash and decided that you were getting the discount.

Client: [Yelling] Okay, fine.  Forget we every had this conversation. [Hangs up on me]