Client: “I asked you to do ONE thing, and one thing only today.”

Me: “Umm, I don’t think we—”

Client: “Don’t ‘Umm’ around me! When I say I need your ear to the ground, I damn well mean that!”

Me: “What? What does that even—”

Client: “You get one explanation in MY house, and then it’s on you to figure it out. Do I wear pretty earrings and make you lemonade?…”

Me: “What?”

Client: “Do I put on fancy earrings and make lemonade from scratch?!”

Me: “Well, no.”

Client: “Then why do you keep mistaking me for your mother, Pat?”

Me: “Um, I’m John. We talked yesterday over the phone. You told me to come down and see you, because you want me to revamp your company’s website…”

Client: “Oh! Hahaha, my apologies John. I really lost it there. You look a lot like one of our temps. His name is Pat. Man, I don’t like that Pat. The kid is just such a dweeb.”