Client: “Ok, for my album cover I’ve got the perfect image. It’s my girlfriend, and she’s sitting on her bed in red lingerie with photos of me all over the place, and they’re all on fire, and she’s screaming as she tears up a photo of me and dumps it in a marble bowl.”

Me: “Er, okay, can you send me that image?”

Client: “No, you have to make it in Photoshop, ‘cause we broke up.”