Me: Consider sending fewer emails. You often change your mind, and it’s time-consuming to go through ten emails when the last one has the actual choice. Here’s a budget spreadsheet.
Me: Please write down all your ideas and send one email every couple of days instead of every time you have a thought about the project. And don’t follow up the next day, because to save you money I answer them all at once, every couple of days. Here’s a budget spreadsheet.
Me: The cover designer needs more guidance. You keep saying “do something that’s never been done before” but you don’t like any of the concepts and won’t tell us what you do like. Here’s a budget spreadsheet. Note that we’re already well over hours – we’ll need to quadruple your budget for my time.
Me: Because you didn’t use Track Changes (again) like I requested (again) and sent a tutorial on (again), your manuscript will need to be proofread… again. Are you sure this, the sixth version after the “final proofread,” is done? Here’s a budget spreadsheet.
Me: No, we still can’t make a screenshot of a snapshot into a high-quality cover pic. Thanks for approving this hideous concept I mocked up in PowerPoint to get you to approve something, anything, without incurring another round of cover design charges. Here’s a budget spreadsheet.
Client: WHY ARE WE SO OVER BUDGET AND WILL IT COST MONEY FOR YOU TO ANSWER THIS EMAIL?!?!??