I couldn’t find “px” on my ruler.
Client: Make the logo 80% the width of the page.
Me: Alright, here you go.
Client: Woah, woah - what happened?
Me: What do you mean? I did exactly what you asked. It’s 80% -
Client: When we said 80%, we didn’t mean it literally.
Please find attached tracked changes to news stories. I have not made any significant changes just prominently grammer.
Me: Could your resend that last image again? The file was corrupt and I couldn’t open it. I’m not even sure what it was an image of.
Client: Sure, what did the image look like?
Last request - instead of the boring image of a “hand” when a client clicks on something, please make it a small (but friendly) garden insect - e.g. a butterfly, grasshopper, or hummingbird. Please avoid insects with negative connotations, e.g. a slug, caterpillar, or hawk.Someone who doesn’t know what an insect is.
Client: I need amendments on the website.
Me: Ok. What changes would you like to do?
Client: The size of the header. Can you make it 4 inches tall and 6 inches wide?
Me: I am sorry, a website measurement should be in pixels. If you are measuring it by inches, it may look different in my monitor screen resolution compare to yours.
Client: Can’t you just get a f***king ruler and measure the inches on your monitor? That is what I am doing now! I can do it, why can’t you? And you call yourself a web designer!?
Client: Please change that phrase so that it is all lowercase letters.
Made the change and sent proof.
Client: No, I wanted it to read like this: “Like Us On Facebook, Follow Us On Twitter”.
Me: Oh ok, so you actually wanted it to be in title case.
Client: Yes, lower case.
Me: What do you want the dimensions to be?
Client: I have no idea. Like the front side of a hat?
We were discussing a poster project.
Me: Here’s a link to the development version of the new site. I’m going to develop a separate version for mobile browsing, so if you look at it on a phone, you’ll get an error message for now.
Client: It doesn’t work.