Me: Did it give you an error message?
Client: I don’t know, I’m not a computer person.
I work as an architectural draftsman. Once I made a concept for a house. I send it to the client as PDF via e-mail so that he could review it and make changes. Instead of making the changes directly in the PDF or print it, scribble the changes on it with a pen, scan it and send it back via e-mail, he calls me:
Client: There are some changes that I want you to do in the draft. Some walls need to be moved. Starting with this wall.
Over the phone, I heard an audible tap on a piece of paper.
Me: Sure, no problem. I can do that, but can you be more specific about which wall you mean?
Client: This wall right here!
Once again, I heard him tap on the paper.
Me: I’m sorry, but I don’t know which one you mean because…
Client: (cuts me off) If you go from the living room to the kitchen and then to the next room, that wall there!
At this point, the tap on the paper is angrier.
Me: Sorry, but I can’t see which wall you’re pointing at.
Client: (shouts) WHY NOT? CAN YOU MOVE THAT WALL NOW OR NOT?
This story is completely true, and utterly ridiculous at the same time.
I’ve been doing some video editing jobs as part of my position at a digital design agency. I was recently briefed on a job that would be recurring monthly, and as a result, I needed to create a template that could be edited for future variations.
Client: The background is rather dark.
Me: Yes. It’s black. If you’d like we can try experimenting with different colors?
Client: No, no, I quite like the black, it’s just…very dark. Can we lighten it a bit?
Me: Well, sure. It won’t be black anymore though. Lightening it even slightly will make it a dark grey/charcoal.
Client: Hmmm. I don’t like that. Any other ideas?
Me: Well I could add a white pattern overlay. That should break up the monotony of the black a bit and add a little character?
Client: But won’t that make it even DARKER?
I’m not even kidding.
Client: We printed the file you sent us to see how it looks in scale and I don’t think you set the size correctly. It’s very small.
Me: Hmm, the artboard size reads 36 inches. How are you printing this?
Client: We used our printer and printed on a letter size paper.
Me: Okay, you will have to check “Do Not Scale” and print them out on several papers and tile them.
Client: But we have to fit it on a letter size, so we clicked “Fit to Page.” Now how do I make this bigger?
After 30 minutes of explaining how to print, I ended up calling the youngest available person in the company (an intern) to eventually get them to print in size.
A client who I had worked with for some years came back to me after an initial draft with a long list of changes. I sent him back EXACTLY the same brochure and EXACTLY the same video but 10% brighter.
Client: I am impressed. Let me check with the guys but I think we’ll get a thumbs up here.
Either I’ve delayed actually having to make those changes or I am a genius.
I didn’t know these wouldn’t be laminated!A troublesome client receiving his business cards.I didn’t know these wouldn’t be laminated! A troublesome…
Looks great, but only received one copy of the flyer! I had said that I’d like to print 250 of themClient who thinks you EMAIL all 250 printed copies.Looks great, but only received one copy of the…
A client called asking me to remove the “PROOF” watermark from my proof so she could print it. After I spent 10 minutes explaining to please not print a low-res, unfinished, watermarked draft, but instead to use the clearly labelled hi-res final version which reflected several rounds of edits, she finally seemed to get it.
This is the text I received at 11:52 PM that night:
Client: Bad news, those letters didn’t come off when I printed it. Don’t bother fixing it now as that was my whole printing budget… not happy…
Client: I thought I asked for the page to be able to show TIFF
Me: I told you, most mainstream browsers do not support TIFF. We recommended JPG and PNG from the start.
Client: But the functional spec has it saying that TIFF is required.
Me: You mean the functional spec that you edited after it was signed off?
Client: I don’t care, just speak to the Chrome and Firewolf guys to make it work!