Client: We sent you the PDFs, but we thought that you should have the artwork files for our project for the best results.
Me: The PDF files will be fine for production, but it never hurts to have the original artwork in case we need to make any tweaks for you.
Then the client sent the PDFs again, with no actual artwork files.
I'm not mad, but they brought it up.
I work as an admin in the southeast US. I made a call today to a vendor (a small, privately-owned, hardware store). I called them to check about an error.
A non-profit I work with had an upcoming fundraiser and they needed a 24x36 inch poster. All my fundraiser designs have high res graphics, but I sized the PDF down for email and sent it. It's still fairly large,
Client: I think there is something wrong with the size. If this is the stand-alone event poster why is the file so big?
Me: It's high-res, and high-res graphics mean a heavier file.
Client: Can you make it smaller?
If I could without losing quality, don't you think I would have already?
I requested that a client give me access to their social media profiles so I could access them.
The client sent over instead a spreadsheet of user/passwords. Or so I thought.
It WAS a spreadsheet, technically, but it was also a PNG screenshot of another spreadsheet, embedded into one cell.
Client: I can't log in to download my health insurance forms.
Me: Okay! Here's a screenshot that shows you exactly where you need to go and what you need to do.
Client: Link doesn’t work.
He meant the link in the screenshot.
I was working at an online school and I would be lent out to the writers, patching up old content that was clearly made with that deadly mix of inexperience and haste - it was a mess.
I was a B.Sc. student at the time and occasionally I found problems in the high school physics’ math course, which I always triple checked before I brought it up.
The physics writer didn’t take kindly to that.
Each of these emails took at least a week to get a reply.
Me: I found an issue with one of your true-or-false answers, from this lesson. Here’s the math explaining the solution. If you can double check and authorize it I can have that patched up for the students in a minute.
Client: The answer is fine and here’s why. Please leave the learning content to me.
Me: I understand why that would make intuitive sense, but could you please check the math I sent because it’s a bit counterintuitive.
Client: Oh, you have a point - but it’s still fine because of [reason].
Me: Actually that’s already in the math I sent in the first email, please check it again.
Client: Yes, but I’m pretty sure it’s a different answer entirely. We were both wrong but I think I’ve figured it out.
I was getting a little annoyed after a month of not being able to fix an error students were actively using, and the tone of trying to find an out that protects his ego didn’t help.
Me: That’s in the math from my first email too. Please. Check again. Would you like me to explain the physics once more?
Client: Oh. You’re right. Huh.
Me: Cool. Am I authorized to fix it?
Client: No, how about we just add it to an errata section hidden at the bottom of the page beneath a button students never click.
Down the line he edited out another mistake I found, then told me it wasn’t there. I could plainly see he had edited the page that day.
Me: Look, you don’t have to lie to me. I don’t really like being gas lit, even if it’s minor.
Client: Well, you hurt my feelings too with your corrections so now we’re even.
I arrived at a corporate event to take photos. It was in a cool space I had photographed in before, and it was a party for a local non-profit.
Client: I want you to just take candid shots, not posed.
Me: Great! Candid shots really help to tell the story anyway.
I went about my night, finished up, and was told I did a great job covering everything. I sent them the photos two days following the event.
Client: None of the people are smiling in the photos.
Me: You asked for candid photos ... which is me being a fly on the wall. I can't make people smile.
Client: Typically I hold up the camera, wait for them to see me and smile, before I snap the photograph.
Me: ... those aren't candid photos.
Since then, I always explain what candid means to clients when they ask for that. Because there's always one.
Not the work arena typically represented here but a client from hell none the less.
We're a fire department in a wealthy suburb. Sequential lines of thunderstorms have been rolling through the city for some time and we have been responding to alarm calls all morning. As we pull up to a large, two story house it's obvious that it has a lightning strike. There are pieces of the brick chimney in the front yard.
We walk up to the front door, ring the bell, and are greeted by the homeowner. Explaining that we’re here in response to the call from the alarm company and that it’s clear her house was struck by lightning we ask to check the attic space to make sure there isn’t anything smoldering that could develop into a fire. Keep in mind, we’ve taken standard precautions since this could potentially be a structure fire. As a result, we have our full firefighting equipment on with coats, pants, boots, air packs, helmets, thermal imaging camera, fire axe, etc.
Client: Of course, but you’ll need to take your boots off. I don’t want you to mess up the carpet.
Me: Ma’am, we can’t remove our protective equipment just to keep your carpet clean.
Client: I want to talk to your boss.
Me: Ma’am, you’re welcome to talk to our Chief. He’ll be here in a few minutes, but we really need to get upstairs so we can make sure your house isn’t on fire.
Client: I’ll wait.
The Chief pulled up within a couple of minutes while we stood awkwardly on her front porch. He told her department regulations prevent us from removing personal safety equipment before entering a potentially hazardous environment. She let us in but wasn't happy about it. The thermal imaging camera revealed smoldering wood framing behind a wall in the finished attic.
I guess you don't have to vacuum if your house burns down.
Client: You’re a miracle worker!
I used the Dropbox app to make a 3-page PDF for a group of older ladies.
Not a client from hell – quite the opposite! But I thought it was pretty funny.