I can pay you once my weed grows.
I had just finished programming a website and started to insert the final, corrected content I received from the client when I noticed two e-mails inside the text that were from their competitor.
Me: Is this content really the final version? It seems like it was a copy/paste from the competitor’s website, judging by the e-mails on it.
Client: Good eye! It actually is copied from our competitor. Just change the e-mails to ours.
A client wanted me to include a picture that had a copyright notice in the bottom corner. When I asked if he had the copyright, he said no. Thus, I told him I couldn’t use the picture.
Half an hour later, he emails me a cropped version of the picture with the copyright cut out.
Client: Can’t believe I’m paying you when I have to solve these problems.
After I explained to the client that it is illegal to use a song by REM in their video, I receive this email:
Client: Here’s a YouTube link to the song we want. What format do you need the audio in?
Me: I can handle any audio format you provide me as long as you can handle the legal implications of publicly unlicensed copyrighted material.
Client: But it’s not REM!
Me: You’ll face the same issues with Madonna.
A client was upset with the website I created for them.
Me: I did everything you asked me to, what is the problem?
Client: Our competitor has a slide show of all their products! I want that!
Me: I can put in a slideshow for you, just supply me with the -
Client: No! I want THAT slideshow!
Me: You want me to take the photos off of your competitor’s website and put them on yours?
A client had hired his cousin, a recent art school graduate, to design a logo for an otherwise complete website I had built for him.
The following e-mail exchange took place on the day of the website launch:
Client: Here is the final version of the logo. Can you please add this to the site and then push it live?
Me: I’ll add the logo to the site, but don’t you think that it looks very similar to [world famous oil company]’s logo? Are you sure that this is what you want? Has your cousin checked it with the Intellectual Property Office?
Client: What? It looks nothing like [world famous oil company]’s logo! I don’t know where you got that from? Just add it to the website and push it ‘live,’ now! And don’t EVER question my cousin’s work again! It’s insulting!
One week after the site has gone live, I receive this e-mail:
Client: You need to take down that logo - NOW! I got a letter from [world famous oil company]’s lawyers! They’re going to take legal action against me if I don’t take it down.
Me: I’m on it. Did you want your cousin to design a new one, or should I -
Client: That stupid bastard is dead to me, and you will be too if you don’t catch the mistake next time.