I’m a video editor, working on a corporate video for a client.

Client: This looks great, but can you remove the b-roll at [timecodes]?

Me: Ok, do we have a preference on what to replace it with?

Client: Anything’s fine, just make sure there isn’t any footage of anyone of ethnicity.

Me: Well, you know everyone has an ethnicity. 

Client: Right, but don’t show any blacks.

While working on an e-commerce site design:

Client: All of my models are white, so I hired some colored girls to model my clothes.

Me: Uh…

Client: I don’t want anyone to think I am racist.

Me: Yeah. I am sure this will fix that for sure.

I just finished a meeting with an older client. As I’m leaving, he says:

Client: Ni hao!

I blinked while he looked pleased with himself. After I got over my surprise:

Me: Ni hao means “hello,” not goodbye. Also I’m not Chinese.

He didn’t respond. 

A client hired me to film two events for her bluegrass society. When I finished the rough cut, she decided the videos weren’t “diverse enough” (they were bluegrass concerts, after all). 

Her solution? She had me film her talking to, and hugging, some black people to cut into the video.