I’m a video editor, working on a corporate video for a client.

Client: This looks great, but can you remove the b-roll at [timecodes]?

Me: Ok, do we have a preference on what to replace it with?

Client: Anything’s fine, just make sure there isn’t any footage of anyone of ethnicity.

Me: Well, you know everyone has an ethnicity. 

Client: Right, but don’t show any blacks.

While working on an e-commerce site design:

Client: All of my models are white, so I hired some colored girls to model my clothes.

Me: Uh…

Client: I don’t want anyone to think I am racist.

Me: Yeah. I am sure this will fix that for sure.

I just finished a meeting with an older client. As I’m leaving, he says:

Client: Ni hao!

I blinked while he looked pleased with himself. After I got over my surprise:

Me: Ni hao means “hello,” not goodbye. Also I’m not Chinese.

He didn’t respond. 

A client hired me to film two events for her bluegrass society. When I finished the rough cut, she decided the videos weren’t “diverse enough” (they were bluegrass concerts, after all). 

Her solution? She had me film her talking to, and hugging, some black people to cut into the video. 

I was making an advertisement that featured children playing in the snow. The client used a horrible stock image account and finding a lot of pictures to choose from was almost impossible but I managed to find a good one of two little kids making an igloo.

The kids just happened to be Asian.

Client: Can you find a picture of kids that aren’t ethnic? 

She actually forced me to find a picture of white kids instead. I actually felt sick to my stomach.

Me: You want your main character on the cover, okay. What does she look like? I need to find a model that matches.

Client: She’s a person of color.

I appreciate the sensitivity, but I might need a bit more information than that.

I worked as a designer for an advertising company that mostly dealt with small businesses, a lot of which were in small towns in rural areas. When designing an ad that needed stock photos of people, I always tried to include multicultural images. Most clients thought that was great.

Most.

Client: What’s with these images? We’re not in Toronto! Please use images of CANADIAN patients!

I was speechless.  I just sent back an ad with the whitest people possible and didn’t work with him again.

Client: I need you to make a few changes to my website. Do you this type of work?

Me: Sure! Please send over your FTP password and I’ll get started on it.

Client: Here you go: FUmohammedS0B$$$$usa

That was his actual password.