Client: I need you to design my business card, but I don’t have much money because I’m a starting out as an accountant. I can only pay $10.

Me: There isn’t much I can do for the sum. Nothing, actually.

Client: Ok, just write my name and number on a business card size.

Days later:

Me: Here you go.

Client: (shouting) What’s this? It’s too bland and not designed at all!

Me: It’s what you asked for.

Client: I know. But I was expecting something great – like, say, the corporate identity of the Bank of America, for example!

Me: Bank of America hires the services of a top ad agency, and they pay top dollar.

Client: I know, but I want a top branding identity and pay only $10!

A client contacted me on Friday night:

Client: I’m sending you a brief for a design.

Me: I have plans for the weekend. When do you need it?

Client: Next week. It doesn’t have to be fancy, you can do it fast.

Me: Well, like I said I have plans for the weekend and my schedule is actually pretty full next week. When do you actually need it?

Client: It’s not much, you can squeeze it in.

Oh, can I? I guess you would know better than me.

I scheduled an in-office appointment with a client to discuss a project. The client missed the appointment completely and didn’t call or respond to calls. I gave up.

The following morning I sent an email to the client.

Me: You missed your appointment for yesterday and we wanted to see if there was a better day for you to come in to discuss your changes. Let me know and I’ll get it scheduled. 

Client: I can come now…

The time is 4:50 pm. We close at 5:00.

I used to work at a copy and print center where we made works of presentation cards, books, notebooks, etc. And the place was located near a high school, college and tribunal. It got pretty busy.

One morning, a client came in and took a USB out of her purse.

Me: Hi, what can I help you with?

Client: I need 10 books for a presentation today. The perforations need to be done horizontal, letter size, full color, please.

I tried to make the books quickly and it was kind of hard because each of them had just 15 pages, which was actually too little to work with. I kept at it even as other clients came through the door and were waiting, trying to get it done in a hurry. When I was almost finished:

Client: You know what? I’m going to get you to make 17 more. And can you add two extra pages to all the books you already finished? Hope that isn’t a bother. Will I have to pay for the extra two pages?

Me: (silently resolves to look for another job)

I work as a Graphic Designer/Illustrator. One of my clients is a very flaky person who some reason will often spring up work at odd hours in the night, well past bedtime.

There was a particular assignment I was asked to do a month prior to its due date, but when I asked about the specs, I was instead given the specs for a different job. Weeks go by and the original work was never mentioned again. It’s finally the due date for the original assignment when I get a phone call from my boss at 1AM asking if I could have it done by 11AM. When I ask for the specs once again, I am greeted with silence.

Not wanting to sit on my hands anymore, I just went ahead and stayed up all night to make something based on some general standards and submitted it.

11AM rolls past. And then 12PM. Finally, 2PM rolls past and my client contacts me to inform me they fell asleep as soon as they called me and slept through the due date.

The graphic was never used.

I was working as a receptionist at a vet clinic to pay my way through my degree in Graphic Design. I was in my last semester of the program and beginning to accept freelance work in my free time. My boss knew this and approached me with some work: 

Client: Hey, we need a flyer for an upcoming event. Can you whip something up? Here’s the info.

Me: I can’t really do this here – all we have on these computers is Word.

Client: Why don’t you use your designer programs? We need something eye-catching!

Me: Just to be clear, you’re asking me to use programs that I pay for out of my pocket, on my personal laptop that I also paid for, during work hours at a job where I was not hired for my skills as a Graphic Designer, to create a professionally designed product for you, with no increase in my hourly rate? I’m sorry, but no. If you would like, we can certainly discuss my freelance rates after hours. I charge $25/hr and I estimate a flyer of this type would take about 2-3 hours.

Client: Seriously? That’s way too much for a simple flyer! Isn’t there like a Friends and Family discount?

Me: No.

He was silent for a moment and then went back to his office. He later made his own version on Word, using about five conflicting fonts in various colors.

This encounter was pretty typical of the culture there, and I quit two weeks later.

Client: I’d really like for the website to look different from a standard website. We want to indicate that our product is in beta and setting the website apart by making it really bold visually will help make this distinction.

Me: That’s a good idea, but seeing as we’ve already finished building your website it’s a little late for design changes. 

Client: So I have about an hour’s worth of video of my daughter playing volleyball, and I’d like to just pick a few of her good spikes and digs and make a three minute video.

Me: Okay, sounds like about three hours worth of work.

Client: But it’s only a three minute video.

Me: (facepalm)

Client: We need this database migrated tomorrow morning.

Me: OK, no problem.  I do charge a rush fee for a quick turnaround like this.

Client: Now isn’t the time to price gouge.  We might have a lot of work for you in the future.

Me: …