Client: Heads up. We have a new project coming in, and you have six days to finish it. 

Me: (solo graphic designer) It? What is it?

Client: Graphic brand refresh for a concept department store for (major private developer). They also want us to have final artwork for signage and environmental graphics ready by then.

Me: ...Is this project confirmed?

Client: Almost. We’ll know in about half an hour.

Me: Well then, heads up – you have half an hour to line up a backup designer, because if it really is six days, I’ll quit on the spot. 

The client, at 11 PM Saturday night, after having agreed to that being the end of our weekend availability before their annual meeting on Monday:

Client: You should have just received the final three PowerPoint presentations for our meeting on Monday. We'll be there at 8am to pick them up on the way to the airport.

Client: How's the site coming?

Me: Really well. I'll have it to you next Tuesday for revisions, and we can plan on pushing it live by the end of next week. 

Client: Wait, what? But I need it by Monday.

Me: ...This is the first I'm hearing about this. Why?

Client: I'm running a major ad campaign promoting the site, and it goes live Monday. 

Me: You didn't tell me that!

Client: Well, it's happening so get it done. 

Got half-sentence emails from a potential client. Talking on the phone with him, he told me he wanted a package that includes a website and logo.

Client: What's your quote?

Me: I'd need to get back to you on that.

Client: I'm surprised you don't have a number prepared. You know, a lot of people would want this work.

Me: Yes, and I have plenty of work.

I work for two hotels, sister sites, in the Caribbean. Clients from both properties asked me to prepare posters to advertise New Year's Eve parties. 

I got started right away, and it should have been an easy job, except the clients continuously changed the information. Every day they'd send me new information that required me to basically start over. Then. when the first was finally ready to roll out after a week of revisions:

Client: We've decided we're no longer advertising either of these NYE dinners.

So that was a big waste of time. 

Client: I've been told that I should consult someone to create a marketing plan for this product.

Me: I can definitely help with that. When did you want to go live?

Client: In a week.

I was working for a tech startup managing their content and social media strategy. The CEO was pretty flighty, but after months of wrangling I'd finally convinced him to stick to one plan and build it over time. 

He took a week's vacation, and when he came back: 

Client: Scrap everything. I've had a vision for how we're going to change the world.

Turns out his holidays was an ayahuasca ceremony and I had to scrap everything and start over. 

I submitted a poster design advertising a sales event to a local client.

Client: This looks great! Really fine work. 

A hour later:

Client: ...I actually have some reservations about this. I think there's a lot that can improve.

Me: You loved it an hour ago. What happened?

Client: Well, I showed it to my wife, and she changed my mind about it.

I don't know what I resent more - that final approval was revoked, or I was unwillingly a participant in a "Boomer Humor" skit about wives being terrible. 

Client: (texts) I need you to start working on another site. Please *lists full quota of information about colors, info etc* 

Me: Do you want me to prioritize this over the other work you asked for?

Client: Stop texting me I'm on holiday

Me: That'll be two hours.

Client: Great!

One hour later:

Client: Here's more content to integrate.

What he added basically doubled the job. He also requested that I attend to a few minor tasks immediately. I took it in stride, took twenty minutes to do the small stuff, and started incorporating it as quickly as I could.

An hour later:

Client: You done?

Me: Not quite yet!

Client: You said you'd be done, and I expect you to stick to your own deadlines. This is highly disappointing.