I’m a developer creating programs and backends for a university.

Client: We are going to focus around Programmes and Students who attend them. Use that language.

A year and a half into development.

Client: Mmm…. We don’t like the name “Programmes,” make it “Cohorts.”

Me: But we already have all the models, relations, API routes, mobile app that uses these routes, tables, constants named with Programme in mind. It’s going to be a huge task to change all that now.

Client: Yep, still, make it Cohorts.

Me: …OK, fine.

Eight months later.

Client: We’ve decided against calling them “Cohorts.” Change everything back to “Programme.”

Me: (considering violence, whether self- or otherwise).

A client wanted a PDF where the first few pages had editable text boxes. With each round of amendments, he requested changes to the text in the editable fields, despite being able to do this himself as he specifically requested the editable text boxes so he could amend the wording to suit different clients.

I sent him the final PDF file WITH editable fields and the images.

Client: Why is this an earlier version? Fix it!

I didn't know what he was talking about, and he wouldn't clarify. After cross-referencing the designs to previous proofs and versions three times (re-exporting and re-sending to the client also), I couldn't understand why he was insisting the files I sent were a previous version. That's when I realized that one of the amendments in the editable boxes had reverted from a 7 to a 6.

Turns out he was reaching the 3rd page where this amendment had been missed, assumed the rest of the document was an older version and refused to look at the rest of the pages to check it was the latest document, despite the fact the text was EDITABLE in the EDITABLE text box he had REQUESTED from the beginning that he can edit HIMSELF.

Instead, he got me to spend hours trying to find the issue when he could have changed it himself. Or, better yet, told me what the issue was. 

I got paid, but all the extra work made it not worth it. 

I'm a freelance artist that offers hyperrealistic traditional commission paintings, and my pieces usually take several weeks to complete. I received a message from a prospective client just a couple of days before Christmas

Client: Hi! I'm [Name]'s assistant and I'm looking to order a commission for one of their friends as a Christmas gift. What are your turnaround times like?

I had never heard of [Name] so out of curiosity, I did some quick googling to find out they were some Z-list celebrity I've never heard of with some very minor roles in a couple of well-known shows and movies.

Me: My work usually takes a few weeks to complete and I'm currently booked up for the next several months. I'm also afraid that the postage deadline for guaranteed Christmas delivery was last week. Let me know if you'd still be interested in booking, and I'm happy to answer any questions you might have!

Client: You're sure you can't turn it around by Christmas for [Name]?

Me: ...Quite.

Though certainly not my worst prospective client, it always surprises me that some people expect highly detailed work to be completed in a snap of a finger- and of course, wait until the last possible moment to try to order a commission.

Maybe they thought that name-dropping might motivate me to work against the laws of physics.

I work for a hospitality design firm: clients hire us, we design their hotels, the hotel brand signs off. Previously the approval process involved a 30% submission where they see our concept and general ideas and have the major design review, 60% with partial drawing set and minor revisions, and 90% where we submit a full drawing set and final tweaks occur. It's caused us a lot of heartache, but after almost two years working with this brand we've finally managed to navigate their process. And then this morning...

Client: We just forwarded you the new Design Process package. Design Review will now occur at 60% and will require a 90% drawing set submitted for review. You are expected to have 60% of the design completed without any major feedback from the brand and complete the same round of revisions that you would at 30%.

I'm still trying to work out the math for how we're supposed to have 60% of the design completed with 0% feedback prior to submission and still perform the revisions before the 90% submission.

I recently quoted a client for a promo video to be shown on their website.

Client: We’ve decided to go in a different direction.

They eventually came back and hired me. I got the truth out of them later:

Client: I was going to shoot this on my phone but I couldn’t record my voice at the same time.

This was a multi-million dollar company whose smallest contract is still six figures.

Client: Things are not working, the amount of hours we agreed is not being respected and your developers are late in the deliveries. When can we talk to sort things out?

I went to the dev team to talk and this exchange followed:

Me: So, what is happening? Are problems arising during the sprint? The client is frustrated with the delays, and I need to know if you need some support or renegotiate something.

Dev: We have no problem at all with them, we are only lacking time to do what they need.

Me: How are you and your colleague dividing the time?

Dev: Well, my colleague spends the day programming, while I'm, at 9AM, have a call with the client that usually goes for two hours, then again at 2PM I have another call with'em and this one usually goes for four hours, then I code until 7PM.

Me: That explains a lot.

Turns out the client knew this time was billed as dev time, but they expected the developers to be coding while on the phone with them!

Direct quote from a client:

Client: The website has become a problem. Now it’s causing problems with Google analytics and SEO for some people who are obsessed with that silly shit.

I recently agreed to do a graphic design project for a friend of a good client. I was very hesitant to do it because it was a kind of difficult project on a tight deadline. However, I agreed to do it anyways on the very clear terms that they HAD to pick one of the three layout options I gave them by a specific date.

The night before I needed their choice I send a reminder, to which they say they'll "work on it"... the next morning (when I had planned to start drafting the ad) they sent half of a layout, clearly mocked up in Microsoft Paint.

Client: Can you use that? 

Me: Not really. And, as I stated when I agreed to this project, because of the tight deadline I don't have the time to create new concepts. Normally I would be willing, but I need you to pick from the concepts I sent you. 

Client: Can't you use what I sent you?

At this point they listed what they "liked" about their MS Paint version.

Me: OK, based on what you're saying you like I think then my second option I gave you would work best for what you want. I am concerned about being able to finish your ad on time if I don't spend all of my allotted time today on getting the actual draft done rather than finishing your layout.

Client: Okay, but could you [change one aspect of that layout that would ruin the entire composition]?

I didn't want this job when I started, and I definitely don't want it now. 

I recently started a job as a developer. 

Client: Here's a list of 10 things that need to be done by next Wednesday.

Me: I've checked the requirements and our schedule and I'm pleased to say we can have these ready for you in time.

Client: Sure is, let me know when these are ready for review.

Friday before the deadline.

Me: Changes are complete, we can deploy with your approval.

Client: Looks great, push these live.

Later that day.

Client: Ok, here's a new list of 20 things that also have to be completed by Wednesday.

These were brand new tasks that he'd never mentioned until this very moment.

Me: This is quite a substantial amount of work, even with overtime, the earliest this could be delivered is the following Wednesday.

Client: I can't believe you would let us down like this! I don't care how you do it, these MUST be done for this Wednesday, even if you and the whole team have to work days and nights! Fix your mistake and get it done.

Don't get me wrong, with the right apologetic attitude, I'd gladly do them a favor and help them hit a critical deadline. But to be accused of letting the company down for missing a deadline that was never mentioned, and had no involvement in setting...

I can't see this job being long term.

I work as an in-house designer for a media company. It's not great. I'm underpaid and overworked and my job is to basically guess what my boss wants because I'm never given any briefs, but whatever.

Over the past few weeks, our internet has had a habit of dropping out randomly. It never lasts too long, and it's not too big a hurdle. But on this particular day, it dropped out completely. 

We contacted the ISP to find out that we'll be completely without internet for the day.

Me: So... do we go home?

Boss: No, keep working. You have a phone. Use your data.

Me: ...Will you reimburse me for my data?

Boss: Just get to work. 

Great. It was costing me money to work here. 

I get that bosses cut corners, but when your entire business model revolves around sending files back and forth, invest in good internet service.