Client: I like it, but I want something different.

Me: Different how? 

Client: Not the same as this. Do I really have to spell this out? 

A client wanted a new logo to rebrand a business acquisition:

Client: Make it new while traditional, fresh but conservative, there are no limits to what you can suggest but keep it close to the original!

I think I'm just going to update the font. 

Client: I like it, I just don't know if I like it. 

Me: So, you don't know if you like it like it?

Client: No! I like it. ...I just don't know if I like it. 

I presented a client an image of a night sky for a design. 

Client: But please, remove half of the stars... The moon can't breathe!

We've been working with this client for a couple of months and things have just not been the smoothest. We ask them questions but they get annoyed that we do. We ask them to send us examples, they ignore me. All they say is "we are not designers, we don't know what we want until we see it." And it also seems that giving us information to their thoughts equate to telling us exactly what they want or doing our job for us. 

Me: If you don't know what you want, we won't know what you want. 

Client: Maybe we haven't made it clear to you what our vision is at the beginning. 

Me: Can you help me understand your vision again? I believe you all have mentioned a few times to us that you did not know what you want.

Client: Okay, let's not get into a he-said-she-said situation. Just so we are aligned, can you tell me what your vision for us is? 

I did my best to present my understanding of what they wanted. They shrugged: "maybe." 

Client: I want this newsletter to look really slick. Think "Transformers" movies. 

I think he meant "sleek and modern," but I coul only read that as "cluttered and loud."

And by the tenth revision, turns out I was right. 

This is from a few years back, but I still think about it frequently.

Me: So what are you looking for in a site?

Client: Team spirit, an elegant feel, excellence, and synergy. Really try to make it synergy. 

Client: I want it to be dark and shimmery. And a little bit magical. 

Me: Okay... do you have any examples of what that would look like?

Client: I guess it's more like a feeling - like if you're falling in love in winter, you know?

Me: Not... really?

I’m not a professional designer by any means but I enjoy doing graphic design a lot and can produce some decent stuff. I’ve been interning at a small NGO the past three months and was mainly designing posters, Facebook covers and flyers for their events (all on a crappy laptop with GIMP…). They often made me change things up a million times (“How would it look like if you put the logo like 3px to the left? Make it a tiny bit larger? Why didn’t you fill ALL the space up completely?”) or changed their mind about titles and info text the moment I finished etc. Because I still really like their cause and wanted to support them after my internship ended, I told them I could do some more stuff for them if I had time but they needed to be precise in telling me what they want because I don’t have the time to do round after round of revisions.

Yesterday:

Client: Hey! We're doing a video series. Can you come up with something using our logo and the hashtag?

Me: I can do that but what do you need exactly? A logo, a poster, a flyer…? Do you have any idea of the direction you want? Can you provide me with all the info you have already? I need clear instructions on what you want.

Client: Oh, sure! We need branding. The hashtag is [x] and you need to include our logo. I hope that clears things up!

Me: …

A phone call later it turned out what they wanted was their logos and the hashtag to appear in the upper right corner of the video… They didn’t even send me the video. Still not sure what they expected me to send back.