HOMEPODCAST
SUBMIT STORY

I was working with a client who was a non-native English speaker, putting together his books, websites, and product descriptions. We sometimes butted heads, and frequently had problems understanding each other.

 

He had just come back from another country and was trying to describe a photo he had taken. This conversation was a roller-coaster from beginning to end.

 

Each entry was its own email.

 

Client: Their hands were all up.

 

Me: They were waving? 

 

Client: Sorry. It’s not waving. Just like Hitler way.

 

!!!

 

Client: They raised their hands up.

 

Me: Like… a Nazi salute?

 

Client: Almost.

 

Client: Not exactly.

 

Client: Up until their eyes.

 

Client: You know like military.

 

Me: So, a regular salute?

 

Client: Thanks.

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I was asked to create a website for a large fundraising event for my internship. It seemed simple enough, until…

Client: I need you to add some things to the website.

Me: No problem, just send me the information and I can have it up in no time.

Two weeks later:

Client: Hi, sorry, I thought I said to have this up? Why isn’t the website done? We are running on a timely schedule.

Me: You didn’t send me the information, so I didn’t have anything to put up.

Client: Oh, ok.

Me: …So are you going to give me the information I need?

Client: I don’t have it right now. Just do what you can to the site.

One week later.

Client: I don’t see any changes to the website.

Me: That is because I don’t have the information to make the changes you asked for.

Client: You’re supposed to get it from the Event Planner.

I email the event planner. One week later:

Event Planner: I don’t know what you want. Ask the Supervisor.

So I reach back out to the client.

Me: The Event Planner says you have the information.

Client: What information?

Me: …The info for updating the website.

No response. A week later:

Client and Event Planner: Have you made the changes to the website?

This went on for three months. I got an email two weeks ago. They cancelled the event.

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I do graphic design and had this client who was looking to have a logo made for their site.

After sending them a few concept designs, he picked one so I proceeded to work on it. After a couple of days, I sent him a preview for initial critique and revisions. This process went on for the next days. 

Just when I thought we were getting closer to completion…

Client: I like that Icon but the fonts just don’t fit.

Me: Ok! I’ll sort that out now.

I proceeded to make revisions on the text bit and sent him the update.

Client: Yeah… I like it, but maybe the all-caps doesn’t fit well? Something doesn’t fit.

Me: Gotcha! I’ll fix it now. 

Again, only the text needed to be updated. Easy enough, I fixed it and sent the logo right away.

I got no reply for almost two weeks. The client and I share a community where we’re both active on and I see/interact with him there on a regular basis. I thought it was strange that he hasn’t replied to my message so I contacted him.

Me: Hello, it’s been almost two weeks. Are you still interested in the logo?

Client: Yea I’m very sorry. I’ve just been very busy lately since I finish college in a few weeks. I do like that logo yea the text but the graphical bit is weird I can’t exactly put my finger on it. Something doesn’t fit.

Me: (in my mind) (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Basically, he’s been telling me all these time that he likes the logo design several times, just not the text. After the text bit of the logo has been sorted out, now he doesn’t like the logo/icon part anymore. 

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I need it printed the size of, you know, a four-drawer bureau.
A client who thinks I work at IKEA
I need it printed the size of, you know,…

I’m a comic colorist and I’m working on a project where the deadline is too close and they needed a second colorist to make it.

So I send a page with a religious gathering in an open field and as there weren’t any indications on the script about how to color it. I just assumed it was daytime.

Client: Oh, but I wanted this with dawn light.

Me: There wasn’t any indication and you gave me green light when I sent you the flat colors.

Client: Yeah, but I think it will look better.

Me: But then I have to change almost everything.

Client: I’m counting on you!

…Five hours of work gone to waste

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Client: I want something minimalist, like this!

Shows me a picture that is the total opposite of minimalist.

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I’m a freelance video editor, and sometimes I end up with little gems like these of people that know nothing about basic video terminology. Case in point:

Client: I like this, but I wish it was a little bit brighter

I accept and increase the brightness and graded the footage a bit to make it slightly more vivid.

Client: That’s not what I wanted man, I want it to be a little bit BRIGHTER y'know?

I have no idea what the hell he means so I up the saturation a little bit along with upping the contrast and the brightness hoping that’s what they wanted

Client: You obviously know nothing about editing, I’ll do this myself if you can’t understand something as basic as upping the brightness

I had barely started so it wasn’t really anything awful, I simply asked he not use the project file I made and he agreed. A few days later I decide to check his channel to see if he made his footage brighter.

Apparently, the moron wanted lens flares.

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The navy background is a bit too dark. Could you replace it with the rich sky blue we get in winter?
The navy background is a bit too dark. Could…

Me: Is there any specific information you want on the poster?

Client: Just be creative and see what works.

Can’t argue with the classics.

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