It needs more razzamatazz. More flair.
Client: “ Your presentation was perfect, your work is brilliant - the best of everyone, priced right and your references checked out”
Agency Rep: “May I ask why we failed to win the work?”
Client:“The other guys did a powerpoint, it had our logo in it and everything!”
Having just completed 60+ print ready files for previously approved packaging designs:
Client: I like it but we need to change the font.
Designer: Hmm. Okay we can do that but it will take about 3-4 hours to complete so we’ll have to add that on to the quote.
Client: NO, I don’t have to pay for font changes.
Artworking a job for a client involving a circular logo.
Client: “Can you please rotate the logo 360 degrees?”
Prospective client: How much? I didn’t think they’d cost that much!
Us: How much did you think the design and print of 1000 business cards would cost?
Prospective client: I don’t know. £20?
Can you make our boss on the video we sent you look younger?
Client: I hate the logo. I really really hate the logo. I can’t bear to look at it. It makes me sick just to see it. I want you to design another one!
Us: Erm… why? You approved it a few months ago.
Client: Yes, but you knew I didn’t like it then. You need to change it.
Us: You approved it. You had your business cards printed.
Client: Yes. I hate them too!
Us: If you want a new logo, we’ll be happy to help, but we would have to charge you for it.
Client: (almost screaming) What? Why the fuck should I pay you for something that I hate! You pressurised me into approving it. I can change my mind if I want to. It’s my prerogative as a customer to change my mind. And I hate the website too.
Us: You had the opportunity to change your mind during the design process, but didn’t. You approved everything. And what’s wrong with the website?
Client: I fucking hate it!
Us: But it’s exactly what you asked for.
Client: I know it is, but I’ve changed my mind. I can do that. And I’m not paying you until I’m happy with it!
Us: You’ve already paid us for it.
Client: I’m going to take you to court, and trading standards.
Us: We’ll miss you as a client.
Client: We need to use WeirdoFont on our website.
Me: That’s not possible, the font is not a common web font.
Client: Nothing is impossible! It’s just a question of time and money.
Me: Well, OK, I’ll travel around the world and install the font on all internet-connected computers, if you can get the copyright clearance for the font.
Client: That’s more like it! You’ll be ready for the launch next month?
I just want a purpley lavendery swoosh along the bottom, the ladies like that.
Client: I’ve decided to change the colour scheme on my website - can you make it all pink?
Me: OK (spends two hours changing colour scheme)
Client: Hmmm, I think it looked better in green. Can you change it back?
Me: Sure (restores backed up colour scheme).
Client: Since I changed my mind and put it back how it was I assume you won’t be billing me for any of this?