Can you make it half a pixel?
Client: “I need a mockup for my new website.”
Me: “OK, we need to take a few steps back before doing a mockup. I need to work out your requirements first. So, first, question: what’s the purpose of your website?”
Client: “Huh? I don’t know. It’s, like, a website. You’re the expert, you figure it out.”
Me: “Certainly, and that’s what I’ll do once you can give me the information I need. So it would be really helpful if you could answer these initial questions.”
Client: “I don’t have time for this.”
Me: “In that case, neither do I. Thanks for your enquiry but please don’t call again.”
We like neutral colors, like lime green and purple
Ok, It’s very good… but can you highlight … everything?
I was thinking, rather than silence, maybe we could just have, you know, the sound of nothing.
Now I’ve made the corrections in red pen, but I don’t actually want you to put this text in red.
Client: Here’s a list of eight changes I want done to my website by the middle of the week. These mods seem relatively simple so thought you may be able to incorporate into the work just completed and for which I’ve paid up now. Therefore, I will not be requiring a new invoice.
I can’t really afford that. What if I just gave you $50 and mowed your lawn?
Ok, the horse lost. Can I pay you in cocaine?
Client: "[referring to a company blog] It just doesn’t look enough like a magazine.“
Us: "Well, we intended for it to look like a blog.”
Client: “Isn’t a blog just an online magazine?”