“Can you just press a button like in the Dove movie?”When asked to retouch a homely , non-model office admin snapshot into a gorgeous model for a cosmetics ad in order to save money.
Years ago, when I was (foolishly) re-selling Web hosting to my clients, I received a call one Saturday morning from my most difficult client, demanding to know why she wasn’t receiving her e-mail. After accusing me of gross incompetence, calling me every name in the book and threatening some sort of non-specified legal action, I calmly told her I would look into the matter and get back to her. I found the nearest computer, examined her account and saw that she had not read a single e-mail since her site launched…three months earlier. I called her back and asked whether she had ever set up the new account in her e-mail client (instructions for which had been provided to her — in writing – when the site was delivered). She had not.
Can you bill your design time in 6 minute increments
Client: “I don’t know about that logo in vector. Let’s use the picture I took of a christmas decoration instead”
Me: “But the logo won’t scale, and it looks horrible. Nobody uses a photograph of something as a logo”
Client: “Can we change the blue to be more red?”
Got a funny one from a Client a while back in reference to artwork that contained the picture above (a key element of the concept):
“The artwork is approved, but we need to replace the skeleton, we think it might be homosexual, and that could ostracise the audience, it’s a very masculine industry.”
The unicorns don’t look realistic enough.Client commenting on preliminary animations from a ‘Magical Wonderland’
We don’t like the font in the logo - could you use the one Microsoft use in their software…I think it’s called Arial. I think everyone likes that one - you see it everywhere.
How late can I get you the revisions and still have it ASAP?
Because of the amount of time it has taken you to do our website (3 weeks) we have approximated that we have lost a lot of business. Therefore we are only willing to pay £100. Having spoken to a Web Designer they have said that this is a more than reasonable offer for what we have ended up with. xxxx sent you the pictures and all the info, all you had to do was put it online. So, if you can forward the required web pages and images. Required usernames and passwords. Photoshop psd files. Upon receipt of all the above, I will forward a cheque for £100 to yourself with immediate effect.