Well I’m a bit of a designer too. I have a Myspace.
A client, suffering the economic downturn, has owed me almost $4000 since 2007. I have tried many things to get paid. I even stopped being nice and took him off my Christmas Card list. Well, it hasn’t stopped him from sending me one. And this year’s takes the cake. It said, and I quote:
TIDINGS OF JOY
In gratitude for our association with you, we’ve made a montetary gift to Courage Center in your name.
“I want it to look dark and cool, like a trendy vodka bar. Also, can you make it bright and friendly like Skype?”
Client: “Can you remove the negative comments that we have on the website?. If so how soon can you do make it happen?”
Me: “I don’t know what you mean about negative comments on the website – your website doesn’t have a comments section. Can you clarify where you’re seeing them?”
Client: “We had some negative reviews which I would like to have removed when you go onto our website and look us up on Google maps.”
After handing me a picture, a client tells me, “We love this picture, so just zoom it out a little and it’ll be perfect.”
“Let’s negotiate on the price. Don’t forget, my wife can do this for free.”
Client: “I love what you have come up with here, but I feel what we need here is some blue skies thinking.”
Me: “(pause for effect) Can you explain what you mean?”
Client: “You know, think outside of the box, push the envelope. I just don’t think we are both singing from the same hymn sheet on this one.”
Me: “(Pause again) Can you explain, without using any other terms you may have overheard someone in middle management used back in 1990?”
Client: “Maybe we can touch base later on this?”
Me: “I look forward to it.”
Our main goal is to get people to sign up to our newsletter, thus a huge green sign up button in the middle of the page, like on twitter.com
For a brief period I was working for this web development company for small to medium sizes business. This is a conversation I had with one of their car upholstery clients after I just received a package containing over 100 leather and fabric samples.
Me: …and was hoping you could elaborate what it is you wish me to do with these. Scan each and add them to your site?
Client: When I touch my screen, how come I can’t feel the difference between each? I want visitors of my site to be able to feel the difference between each sample…