We had a client who needed a site done for her champion horse riding ranch. In the initial client meeting, she stated that she wanted each of the horses to have their own blog because they had ‘Such unique personality’.
You can take off $1289.86 of what I owe you. We’ll call it a finders fee, since I found you guys and am helping you out. Sound good?
Me: “The cost starts at $XXX per illustration, but can vary slightly depending on the project.”
Them: “What do you mean it can vary? Can you give an example?”
Me: “I usually offer a 10% discount if you order more than 10 illustrations. Or, for example, my last client was a non-profit so I gave them a 20% discount.”
Them: “Oh? Really? That’s interesting because, umm, we’re a non-profit, too. I mean, not right now but we’re definitely planning to give away free stuff to umm, urban kids and umm, help them out, y'know…”
Client: We want a pretty ad that reflects the South.
Client [3 hours later after proof has been sent]: “Git rid of that gay moonlit night and Spanish moss hangin’ from dem trees. Put a rebel flag on it and we’ll be straight.”
CEO: What if the logo was a photograph of a dog wearing goggles. See, the dog is wearing goggles. Goggles are funny.
CEO: How about this logo? [Shows an image of a monkey, wearing a diaper, holding a road sign.] This could be Bobo, your guide to the Information Superhighway.
Airline Client: “You quoted us for 8 days of 2D graphics. I think that’s way too much.”
Me: “It includes revisions.”
Airline Client: “Well, if you do everything perfectly and we don’t want to change anything, can you charge us less?”
Colleague: “If your airline flew us to London and got us there 10 minutes ahead of schedule, would everyone on the plane get a refund?”
I will pay you depending on the number of buyers of [Product]. When the buyers come to 2000, I’ll pay you.
Me: “With this hosting account you get 5 email addresses, so anything @mydomain.com.au. What email addresses would you like?”
Client: “Hmm..but that’s not very much 5 emails.”
Me: “Well you can always upgrade your hosting account to allow you to have more mailboxes.”
Client: “But what happens when I have received 5 emails, then I can’t use my email anymore.”
I took a design job in the Cayman Islands out of college in 1998. It lasted a week. Here’s why.
Boss: “Can you start scanning these magazines for the nice landscape photos. We’ll use them later for stock.”
Me: “Don’t you think there might be some issues with copyright?”
Boss: “Copyright? Dis is da Caribbean, we got no copyright here mon!”
I need someone that can take everything in here (client points to head with both hands), and put it on the internet.