Client: “So we’re thinking that we’d like to incorporate a lot of landscape photos into the design. We took some great photos on our holiday and we’d like you to use those.”
Me: “Sure, sounds like a fun idea. Go ahead and send me a few of your favorites.”
In total, they sent me 67 e-mails, each containing approximately 20 photos. The best part? I ended up making a layout out of stock images.
A particularly picky client wanted a PDF proof of his artwork e-mailed to him to approve before printing. Since he had originally supplied his artwork as a PDF, I simply e-mailed him back the original file. After reviewing this proof, he complained that the quality was not good, that the graphics were muddy, and that the text didn’t “pop.” I promised to “fix” it before printing and assured him it would look identical to his original artwork.
I’m doing video editing for a short clip and here’s one of the client’s comment about one of the shot where we see one of the girl.
“I don’t want to see her whole face, We can see her lips, her eyes but not her nose, it’s too notable.”
Working as a moderator for a computer help chat room many years ago.
Young boy: "How do I get burn out out of a monitor?“
Me: "You can’t, once the phosphorous is burned you are going to have to replace the entire monitor.”
Young boy: "There has to be a way. I need to fix this as soon as possible.“
Me: "The only solution that may work is displaying a solid white background for a few hours and possibly burning the rest of the screen.”
Young boy: "A few hours? I have 15 minutes!“
Me: "There is nothing you are going to be able to do in 15 minutes short of replacing the monitor. Why are you in such a hurry?”
Young boy: "I fell asleep looking at porn and there is a lady spread eagle burned into my screen. My mother is going to be home in 15 minutes!“
Photography is not art goddamnet! It’s just a Xerox of what just happened.
On a different note, do you know a good way to add sound with rollovers to a site? One of my customers wants a picture of a horse to neigh when you mouseover it.
Take the black cowboy out. Black cowboys have no place in Nashville.
I work on an in-house design team and our boss consistently walks past our monitors and peeks at what we are doing. On occasion, there will be something on screen that bothers her. One day she walked by and asked, “Are you really putting pink stripes on that?” The pink stripes were my grid guides.
An anonymous reader writes in to tell us about the How Low Can Your Logo contest. In true crowd source fashion, participants compete to design shitty logos for Excellencico, “a global leader in providing a focused, broad range of services to a world-class, international, region-centric clientele.“
From the How Low Can Your Logo site:
Excellencico harnesses evolving, dynamic e-technologies to provide unparalleled levels of synergistic e-products to a heterogeneous set of unperpendiculated e-applications…
We prefer that the logo convey the forward-thinking nature of our company without looking too futuristic or flashy but we also don’t want anything too conservative or neutral. "Just right” is the vibe we are looking for..
Sounds great doesn’t it? Head on over and get involved.
Here are some of our favorites so far:
After weeks of trying to get a client to return my calls/emails in order to book a project review meeting:
Me: “Ok. Let’s nail down the review meeting for Friday [two days later]. What time is good for you?”
Client: “Don’t kid me. You’re not that busy. All you guys do is sit around and doodle shit, and I have stuff to do on Friday. We’ll do it today.”
Me: “Ok. You can come by if you want, but I’ll be at another client’s. The bench outside my office can double as a bed and the coffee shop next door has wifi. See you Friday.”
Needless to say, I didn’t hear from him again.