I prefer that you create all the designs in Microsoft Word as this is a much better program to work with.
Client: “You’re fired.”
Client: “You printed it upside-down.”
Me: “You’re holding the board upside-down.”
Me: “You still owe me money from the last set of changes which hasn’t been paid for six months, so I won’t make any more changes or provide you with an unlocked PDF until your account is up to date.”
Client: “What do you stand to achieve by doing this?”
Please make the flyers larger, like a half sheet or a whole sheet. Men judge importance based on size, and the postcard size was too small.
I like it with the light coming from the top, but can you make it so there is no shadow on the floor?
Me: What the fuck?
Client: Sorry, my cat got onto the key-board
Ok, can you make the website accept only mails from the big corporations, then?
Can we change the black and white images on the website to color? I don’t want visitors to the site to think we can’t afford color.
Client: I’d like to create a place where photographers can post their photos and everyone can go to the site and look at them. It will be like a portfolio.
Developer: Sounds great, but there are already great sites out there for this (Flickr, DeviantArt, etc). How will yours be different?
Client: Ahh, you see there is a flaw with all of those websites.
Developer: What’s that?
Client: On those sites, anyone can download the photos by right clicking. I need you to build me a site that won’t let users download the photos.
Developer: I’ll have to get back to you….
Client: [when briefing a designer] I am not going to tell you anything, because I don’t want to limit your creativity.