HOMEPODCAST
SUBMIT STORY

A couple of years ago I built a website for a client of mine. The build went without any major problems and the time came for the site to launch.

Upon launch I give my customers a crash course in how to use their CMS (in this case WordPress) so that they can update the content. My client came in to see me and brought along their friend who was an “expert in using websites.”

Expert: What size font is that?

Me: It’s 14px.

Expert: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

I open up Chrome dev tools and show them the CSS stating 14px.

Expert: We’ll have to agree to disagree.

0

Client: I am in the process of setting up an umbrella company and have someone to design my website but I have been doing the copy myself, unfortunately though I’m not very good at writing, so could do with some help editing this for me and making sure it is SEO compatible. I have around 4 pages completed as much as I can so need these to be edited and possibly bulked out in places.

Me: I’d love to help you with this project. Is it possible for you to send the link to your site, so I can have a better understanding of what is required?

Client: Ha! As you have asked for further info you obviously don’t know what an umbrella company is.

Me: …What?

0

Client: Hi! Do you know how to write comparative analysis? Thanks!

Me: Hi there! Yes, I can write a comparative analysis, but it depends on the subject matter. Can you provide further information?

Client: What’s your email address? Please give it immediately

I gave my email address and waited for a response.

Me: (one week later) Hi, I didn’t receive an email from you. Is this project still going ahead?

Client: (two and a half months later) Still ongoing.

Me: Do you still want me to work on this project? Can you please confirm the details?

Client: Are you okay with a test article now?

Me: Are you able to provide some details regarding what’s involved in this project? I’m happy to complete a test article for you, but there will be a charge for this. Let me know what you need. 

Client: Yes, I don’t mind paying you. But I need to make sure the content you’re going to write is usable first.

Me: I still don’t know what the project is.

Client: It’s just a normal job writing, in which you’ll be writing blogs in a specific niche. 

Me: Forget it. 

0

I responded to an ad looking for someone to write a 300 word article for $15.

Me: Hi! I’m interested in writing the article you advertised for. Can you send further information regarding the job?

Client: Hi! Glad to hear from you! We pay $30 for 1000 words and $15 for 500 respectively. The main topic is online gambling. Are you OK with this all?

Me: 500 words for $15 is a bit low, but I could do 300 words for $15, as specified in your ad.

Client: Sorry, but our pricing is fixed.

0

I have just spent 8 hours doing miniscule changes to a two page report as per client request. It’s an in-company client, so this time is not paid extra. All changes are barely visible (moving a title 2 px left or right, choosing a color that’s 3 points more saturated etc.) and all are purely subjective.

Best part? MAKING the two-pager from the ground-up took me 7 hours total.

0

While making some final changes to a new website for a client, they decided to incept:

Client: Oh, can we add an extra page where we just throw my entire old website in?

I screamed.

0

I am a 3D modeller and was working on some CGI for a construction company. I was putting the finishing touches onto a house image, which had hanging tiles on the front elevation as well as roof tiles, and dealing with someone in their technical department over email

Client: Great, we are very nearly there. We just need to make the hanging tiles and roof tiles the same color.

Me: Ok, that’s easy, what color do they need to be?

Client: They need to be the same color

Me: Yes, I get that, but they are currently two different colors. I need to know which color it is that you need them both to be please?

Client: I’ll send you instructions.

I then got sent an email with a scan of a proof I’d sent them, with two arrows pointing to both sets of tiles and the words THESE NEED TO BE THE SAME COLOR written in marker pen.

Me: Ok, the roof tiles are currently grey slate, the hanging tiles are red. Do you want both sets of tiles to be grey, or both sets or tiles to be red, or both sets of tiles to be an entirely different color that is not red or grey?

Client: Yes.

0

Me: What’s the theme for your wedding?

Client: We haven’t thought about it yet but I’m thinking pastel.

Me: Okay… well, what specific color do you want on your invitations?

Client: Pastel. 

Me: ….

Guys, enlighten me: what specific color is pastel?

0

I started working as a social media manager for a company who ran a website for aspiring actors who would join the site and be told about productions they could audition for.

After a few days of looking over at the Facebook page of the company and drafting some posts I think would be great, I met the client to make plans.

Me: So I really want to post some movie tidbits and trivia, acting tips, etc. 

Client: No. I don’t want none of those. What I want you to do is post these photos.

The client showed me a motivational photo I’d seen before, of a puddle with some nonsense about crossing adversity. Also a photo with a couple kissing and the caption “Real Relationship Goals.”

Me: I can do that, but these seem a bit unrelated to your company. Also, where are you getting these photos?

Client: I just take them off of 9gag and put our logo on the bottom. 

Me: That’s copyright infringement! 

Client: It’s fine, just use those images and put our logo on the bottom. 

I didn’t last long there. They’re still ripping off other sites left and right.

0

I’m a page designer for my school’s newspaper. We cover our printing cost with ads, and usually that doesn’t cover all expenses. Since we have little income we try to please our customers so they will buy an ad space again. I had two ads from the same company going on my spread. Our ad manager had designed one ad and we were waiting on the other from the company. I put placeholders on my page until the ad was sent. 

I received two ads instead of one: they were both in neon script font over stock images, and were in awkward, non-standard dimensions that didn’t fit our page, and were larger than the spots they paid for.

The email insisted we use these ads exactly as they are.

Me: (via email) The ads you sent us are in the wrong dimensions for what you paid for, and we have already designed an ad for you. Can you either send us a reworked version, or let us edit these ourselves?

Client: I would like for you to use the ads I sent. You can rearrange the paper.

I put the ads on the page as is. It was ugly and horrible. I felt ashamed.


I am barely over 18 and can meet deadlines and requirements better than the business owning adults in my city.

0
Menu