Client: We need new menu designed for our restaurant.
Me: We can do that. We will make a proposal and sent it to you next week.
Client: Maybe you can work on it during your free time to get it done faster.
Me: Oh HELLZ no.
Client: We need uniforms designed and made for our new hotel: reception, maid, bellboy, barman, cook and waiters. 50 employees, 3 uniforms per person.
Me: We can absolutely do that. When is your deadline?
Client We open on Thursday, so we need everybody dressed and ready to go by then.
Me: This Thursday?
Client: Yes! Can you do it?
I’m designing and developing a website for a pretty big company. The owners live in the south of my country, while the company is in the capital. They travel every week to the capital and go back to their homes during weekends.
That’s why they asked me to avoid meetings as much as possible, so when I had the first demo available for them to review it, I sent them the best email I’ve ever written. A foolproof guide through the live demo (hosted on one of my test servers) with images and instructions for how to access every feature of the website. I was pretty pleased of the website, but the instructions I gave them were PERFECT – I was immensely proud of them.
The email was sent on February 2nd. I didn’t heard from them till February 20th.
Client: Hi! How have you been!
Me: I’m fine. Did you guys see the email I sent you, like, 2 weeks ago?
Client: Yeah! That’s why I’m calling you. Why can’t we see the demo website? We’re trying to log into our server and it’s not working.
Me: Uh, yeah, I uploaded it to my test server, just like it says in that email.
Client: Oh! Okay. We’ll check it out and call back.
Fifteen minutes later:
Client: You’re using the old logo. Where’s the new one?
Me: Yeah, those logos are placeholders. You still need to send me the files for the new logo. I went over all this in the email.
Client: Also, we can’t access some of the new features.
Me: Again, I provided detailed instructions in the email. Did you read it?
Client: This is impossible. I don’t know why you’re being so difficult. Can we have a meeting on Thursday?
I’m never putting any work into another email for this man ever again.
So I recently worked for a theatre non-profit. My client was the VP of Communications had no sense of time management and the TACKIEST design sense. Here are a few indicative examples of working with them.
Client: I need you to create a full ad suite for these five upcoming features.
Me: Okay. When do you need these?
Me: That’s not really how it works. When did the board decide on this?
Client: A couple of weeks ago.
Client: Is that a problem?
Client: So how are those templates going?
Me: Oh, fine. I’m almost finished with this one.
Client: That’s coming along nicely! I have an idea, though - wouldn’t it be cool to add some Clipart?
Me: Um… that wouldn’t really be cohesive with the overall brand.
Client: Just add the Clipart, it’ll be great.
Client: Great! You know what would really complete this image, though? GOOGLY EYES.
Client: I’ve written and released a book, but my original cover looks hastily done and cheap. I would like a cover illustrated of the same scene, but done more professionally.
Me: Okay, that’s definitely doable. Here are my rates.
Client: Oh no, I have no money for this project. I could maybe offer you up to $20 but you’d be doing God’s work. You should embrace this opportunity and illustrate the cover for no charge.
Me: Well, I think God would probably like you to pay a fair wage.
Join us at 11:00 AM on Tuesday, June 28th
During this month’s webinar, I’ll outline a simple system that any freelancer can use to seek out and secure new clients. After that, I’ll tell you how you can take this system a step further and start to seek out your ideal client.
Finally, I’ll close the webinar with a live FAQ, answering and addressing the comments and concerns you may have about freelancing.
Register here to leave any questions you may have. Registrants will receive a recording of the webinar as soon as we finish!
I’m a webmaster and I’ve been working as a
freelancer for almost ten years, making and managing websites for companies of
various sizes. I made a portfolio site for an artist
friend of mine, but never published it because she never gave me the content
for the site. Since this was a favor (she paid me for hosting but not for the
design), the project was on the backburner for me, but after a few months I
remembered it and gave her a nudge to send me something so we could get it up
Me: Hi! We should really get your site together. Please send me what you’d like to display in your portfolio.
Client: Great! Thanks for reminding me to jump on this. I have been thinking,
though – if you die, who is going to run my website?
Me: Well, to be honest, I wasn’t planning on dying any time soon.
Client: Phew, thank goodness.
For the record: I’m fairly young, and in good health. But I guess artists have to concern themselves with existential problems.