I have a client that I’ve had to babysit for nearly two years. She’s never content and always wants to add more projects, but gets shocked when she sees the bill and insists on splitting it into payments and gets upset when I won’t start on a new project until she’s paid up.
She also loves to send ten emails saying she needs changes made immediately or “by tomorrow at 8am” but then sends contradictory requests and doesn’t reply when I ask for clarification.
The last straw was when I was going in for major surgery on my face and I wake up to an email that she’d sent at 4:00am the morning of my surgery, despite me having emailed all of my clients a month in advance, a week in advance and the day before to let them know that I’d be unavailable for the following week.
Client: Can you call me? I have a checklist of things I need to go over and I need them for a presentation with one of my clients by tomorrow.
Me: Today is my surgery. I’m not going to be available until next week, as I stated in my email. I also won’t be able to make any more edits until you’ve paid up for the design work and site edits from two weeks ago.
Client: Are they putting you under general anesthesia?
Me: Yes, why?
Client: Oh, I guess that is a good excuse then. Can you at least call me tomorrow to go over everything? I think I can only push this off for a day.
Me: No, I’m going to be taking percocet for the next week and I will not be doing any business while taking any pain killers. You were told about this three times. I can give you the email to another designer I work with if this is urgent.
Client: Sure, can you get them my logo and files?
Me: I sent you copies of all of these files last week. They’re in your email.
Client: I know, but I don’t want to dig through them.
Me: Fine, I’ve got to go.
Client: Okay, remember, marijuana is God’s painkiller.