Client: (on Monday) Hey I’m opening a new restaurant on Thursday, I need you to make an 8-page menu in time for opening.
Me: (internally) Hmm. That’s a one and a half day turnaround if he wants it sent to the printer in time for opening. If I work like crazy I think I can pull it off.
Client: Also I expect you to be at work all day because we’re short of staff at the moment.
Me: Please ready my funeral, I’ll be dead by Thursday.
Twist: the client is my dad.