Client: Hello, we saw your resume online and thought you would be perfect for what we have planned! How soon can you get started?
Me: I’m available any time. Can I ask what company this is?
Client: Oh, I’m sorry but that’s confidential. In order to maximize our marketing value, we can’t let anyone know we’re seeking help.
Me: Uh huh… well, can you at least tell me what you do?
Client: Certainly! We’re all about increasing our value in the professional community, and actualizing our potential and the potential of the people with whom we do business!
Me: Cute, but what I meant was, what would I actually be doing for you?
Client: You would be achieving more from your life journey!
Me: I see, and how much would I be getting paid for all this achieving?
Client: We believe in fairness and equality. We’re not all about the money here, we believe in putting people before profit!
Me: Right, I think I’m going to pass.
Client: But how can you turn down such an incredible opportunity?
Me: Oh, I never turn down incredible opportunities. Come back to me when you actually have one.