Client: I want
22 pages of copy done, and I want it in two days. Each page needs to be 1000
words and I want 8-10% keyword density.
I charge for copy
by the page.
Me: Well, a
page is actually 500 words, so you really want me to write 44 pages of copy.
And anything over 3-5% keyword density is going to read terribly and you’ll
likely get lowered by search engines because it will have too many keywords and
not enough actual text. Also, I’m going to have to charge you for a rush order
because that’s a lot of copy to write and edit and you haven’t given me any information
on your company yet.
Client: I’m not
paying any of your fake fees. You can write 20 pages in an hour, so don’t act
like this is a lot of work.
discuss pricing after we get the terms of our agreement down. I strongly
recommend you don’t have 10% keyword density.
Listen, I read a book on how to beat Google. I know what I’m doing. So shushy
shushy and typey typey, okay
Yes, he really said those words to me. I did the job,
it read terribly, and I charged him an extra 25% for being an asshole written
off as being a rush fee.