Client: So this video on our website does not load on my phone, or my co-worker's phone. We're both using Microsoft Edge. Can you fix this?
Me: Try using literally any other browser than Edge.
I got hired to edit a video for a company showing all fun and cool things they've done over the year. I do a lot of music videos, which is why they hired me. They wanted it to feel happy and epic, with lots of energy, so they told me to edit it to some house music. I had a blast until I was almost finished and the deadline was less than a day away.
Client: It looks great, but can you make it like this instead? Oh, and we don't like your animations. Can you make them better, like the one we had last year?
They sent me a link to a Powerpoint presentation, with blurry images and texts that I wasn't able to read.
I'm not an animator and Powerpoint presentations give me nightmares. I stared at it for half an hour. Then I had some wine.
I was hired by a small company run by a husband and a wife to write about their business for an upcoming local event.
We talked about the project on Thursday and the deadline was Sunday. It was a quick turnaround but I was confident I could do it if they were prompt with their feedback.
The next day, Friday, I sent the copy to them at 2 PM.
Client (Husband): Looks great! Submit it.
I didn’t hear from the wife, but since the husband was so positive and they lived together I assumed they talked about it. I waited for additional feedback but eventually submitted the copy to the event on Sunday when it was due.
On Monday morning at 10 AM I got an email.
Client (Wife): I have a list of revisions I’d like you to make. Some phrases, photos, descriptions, etc.
Me: Uh… The deadline to submit was on Sunday. I waited for your feedback until the last minute but I’ve already submitted the project.
Client (Wife): Well I don’t work on weekends and just saw your email this morning!
I freelance as an editor and cartographer in my spare time. I had just sent multiple highly detailed historical maps to a client as .eps files.
Client: So there's something wrong with these maps - we can't see some of the text. Maybe you used a font we don't have installed. Also all the text is showing up as paths and not editable text. Could you fix this ASAP?
Me, internally: You sent me a screenshot showing yourself editing them. Also... the maps are in TIMES NEW ROMAN as you requested.
Me: Ok, I'll get right on that.
Client: And maybe send it to us as a PNG?
Me: (puts head on desk at an accelerated rate)
I had a second meeting with a client who had brought us on board to assist with an event.
Me: Based on this scope, we can do this for $2,500.
Client: Hmmm. That won't work. You see, my notes from our last meeting say that you would do this for free, or for next-to-free.
Me: That doesn't sound like something I would say. Also, we didn't discuss price at the last meeting because you didn't have the full scope of what you wanted.
Client: I'm known for the accuracy of my notes. Trust me, they say you will do this for free.
Me: I don't believe that's an accurate representation of what happened.
Client: Are you saying my notes are liars?
Me: I'm saying they don't reflect what we discussed.
Client: My notes don't lie. They say you will do this for free.
Spoiler alert: We didn't do a thing for this client, and ended the discussion right there. I wonder if their notes are still lying to them, though?
I was designing an album cover for a client.
Client: Here are some photos. I don’t really like them, but maybe you can crop them so they look good.
I cropped the photo and then added the band name and album name, playing with fonts to make the whole thing look cohesive and cool. I sent it back for approval:
Client: What you designed is just a photo and text. Can you add some sort of effects?
I complied, doing my best to add effects without going back to the 90s or making it hideous.
Client: It’s still just a photo and text. I don’t think this is going to work. I’m going to find another designer.
When I saw the final cover from the new designer, it was – surprise! – just a photo and text.