We were presenting several print concepts to a national milk board, promoting milk as a healthy drink. Obviously a few of our concepts had pictures of cows in them, to which the client said: “NoNoNo, we can’t show cows in our ads. Our customers will find it disgusting when they realize that milk comes from cows.”
I want it that whenever someone visits our website it automatically installs an icon with a picture of a dog on their desktop. The dog should walk around the screen.
Client: I’d like you to produce a poster for us for our marketing campaign for the launch of our new product.
Me: Sure. Could you let me have images of your product, and any copy which you’d like to have on the poster and I’ll get a draft design back to you.
Client: I haven’t got any images and I don’t know what we want to say.
Me: Well, I’d need those in order to start.
Client: You should know what I want! You’re the professional! Why are you asking me to design my own poster? Just come up with something and stop wasting my time, I have far more important things to do being a director.
Upon being linked to a site the Client wanted to be used for inspiration,
Client: “"I really like how there are multiple fonts [There were 10 clashing fonts] and how everything is randomly placed. It moves your eye over the page.”
Client: “I want it to be like Facebook”
Me: “Did you have a budget in mind for this project?”
Client: “I need to get it done for under $500.”
I want a Myspace type site for kids, like ages 1 to 5.
I want you to make it so people have to give us their email before they can look at the site. If they’re gonna look at our stuff, I want to be able to spam them afterwards.
I was designing a brochure for a client that sells post-pregnancy corsets. They wanted me to have a page full of testimonials and recommendations. For the initial comps I used fake names and testimonials from doctors that I made up on the spot.
When it was time to finalize the brochure for the printers, I asked them to please give me the real testimonials…their response….
Client: “No, we really like the ones you wrote. They sound more convincing. Use those.”
Client: I have two logos I want you to develop for me. What’s your rate?
Me: Great! My rate is $250 per logo. But I understand you’re just starting up and I would be able to cut you a deal if that’s out of your range.
Client: What’s “a deal”?
Me: How about $200 for both logos?
Client: I can’t really afford that. What if I gave you $50, and mowed your lawn?
Us: You’re out of your allotted website maintenance time for this month, so we’ll need to take care of these changes when the new month begins.
Client: Okay. When does the new month start? On the first?