We need more power colors in this… also we need to work on the copy. We don’t want to sound needy… like a bunch of women.
We need our website to work regular business hours; from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.
The logo color is ‘wine’, not as dark as a full bodied Merlot, but more like a cheap Cote du Rhone.
Client: “Would it be okay if we do a remote screen sharing or something like that?”
Me: “What, for the visitors on the website? That’s not really possible…”
Client: “No, for you. We need to watch you work. My wife is very protective of certain parts of the code”
Client: We’d like to trial two different home page web designs to see which is most popular.
Me: Well that’ll cost you twice the price.
Client: We’d like to pay you only for the one we use.
Client’s MBA friend: In marketing we call it experimenting.
Me: It doesn’t matter what you call it – it’ll still cost you twice the price.
After a lengthy presentation for the design of a microsite, the clients had a few unanswered questions. Chief among them regarded the large portraits of former actors and directors beside their bios. The conversation went something like this:
Client: “Can you click the picture?”
Me: “No. What do you want it to do? Enlarge?”
Client: “No, I just want to click it.”
Me: “But when you click it, what do you want to happen?”
Client: “I just want to be able to click it.”
A Friday meeting with a client, who wanted a new package design for their product:
Client: “…so as I said we want you to show us six different design ideas for the package.”
Client: “Can you send them next Friday?”
Me: “Friday? Maybe that’s a bit early, but we can try…”
Client: “Did I mentioned that the products are already manufactured, and they’re only waiting for the package design? So the designs you send should be really polished, because we want to finish this whole procedure next Sunday.”
Me: “OK, I’ll be honest with you. We have other ongoing projects. We can assign two designers on this, but it’s still a lot of work, not to mention that we’ll sacrifice at least one of our weekends, so it’ll cost you more than our regular price.”
Client: “That’s OK. Our budget is $150. I hope it’s enough.”
Me: “So what’s your budget?”
Client: “Well we are well known amongst all the Russian billionaires so there is great potential for you to get your name out there by doing this project for free. Also I am a direct descendant of Genghis Khan.”
Client: “I’ve sent the image. I can’t wait to see the final product.”
Me: “This image is 115px x 148px at 72dpi. Typically we need images around 1000px and higher with around 150+dpi.”
Client: “Can’t you just Enhance the images like they do in CSI.”