I'm a freelance web developer. I design and build sites from start to finish, but occasionally I get a client that has an existing site that needs changes.

One such client had been using an overseas developer to build a unique site. The client didn't think they were getting their money's worth, and a year into the project decided their overseas developer wasn't doing anything so they sacked them and came to me. They gave me a huge sob story about being ripped off, so I decided I'd try to help them out.

I looked at their site, and pretty much everything they said their developer hadn't done, was actually in there. He'd built it in quite a unique way, but it was all there.

Client: I need this site up and running as quickly as possible so I can start making revenue. 

Me: Okay. Here is a list of immediate action items that will make the site good to go. I'll do these, and once you send me some content I'll upload it and you'll have a functioning site. Deal?

Client: Deal. 

Within a few days, I'd done all the agreed items except the content uploads. She promised to have the content to me by the end of the end.

End of the week, nothing.

Me:  Hey, just a reminder that I'm waiting for content. I can't do anything until you send me some. 

Client: Right, sorry, I'll get that to you. 

Another week went by, nothing.

Then I started to get some odd emails.

Client: We're really getting traction on social media now. Why haven't you done any work? Why isn't the site live?

Me: I have done all the work we agreed on. I'm just waiting on the content you promised. That's all that's left to do.

More weird emails followed, asking for extra work to be done to the site (Facebook Pixel integration, design changes we hadn't previously discussed, modified landing page, new forms, etc), none of which was on our agreed brief. In between other clients, I did all the extra work and reminded her again that I was still waiting on content. Given that more than a month had gone by, I sent through an invoice for work done to date.

Suddenly I started getting ranting, abusive calls.

Client: Why isn't the site live? You haven't done anything. Why have you not done anything?

Me: I've done all the items we agreed on initially, except for the content, and I've also done all this extra work you asked me to do that wasn't on our initial brief. Everything is ready to go. All it's waiting on is the content you promised a month ago.

Client: I don't understand why you've sent an invoice when nothing is done. How dare you? I'm not paying a cent until the site is up and running.

Days go by, still no content, and I continue to get abuse, so I told her I couldn't work with her anymore. I fired my client, fully expecting not to get paid.

What I didn't expect, though, was a series of legal letters of demand, telling me to pay her $40,000 in costs and lost earnings. Needless to say, I got my lawyer to handle it, I never got paid, and I ended up out of pocket for trying to help someone out of a jam.

I thought I had seen it all with walk-in print jobs. Then this happened:

Client: I want you to print these 20 photos, and frame them.

The twenty photos were submitted in an Excel file. 

I work as a Graphic Designer at a print shop, and we do a lot of vehicle decals.

Client: I want our logo on both sides of the vehicle]

A day later I sent over a proof, he calls me and says can you flip the text on the driver's side so it starts at the back instead of the front?

Me: Uh... 
Client: I like how the passenger side looks much better, can I have the text go from back to front?

Me: Sure, if you want to read the text in reverse.

Client: No, I don't mean that, just make the driver side look like the passenger side, have the text read from right to left instead.

It took me a while to explain why that wouldn't work

I'm a freelance editor. This project started off well and quickly went downhill.

Client: I want you to edit my memoir. There are thirty chapters.

They gave me a laundry list of things they wanted me to do, but seemed to have missed an important detail.

When I sent back the first few chapters with edits:

Client: I wanted this in third-person, why isn't this in third? You should have made this change already.

Me: …

First of all, it's creepy to talk about yourself in the third person. Second of all, they hadn't mentioned this change yet. Third, I literally stared at my monitor for five minutes before everything started to click together. I was horrified. This memoir — all of it — was written in first-person. All thirty chapters. You can't just "ctrl-f" that change - it required revising nearly every sentence. I glanced ahead to the last few chapters, which were walls of text written in first-person. 

I probably should have noped out then and there, but the client had been friendly to that point and I needed the work.

Me: Uh... this is a major change. It's going to take a lot of time.

Client: That's okay, I understand. 

They didn't understand. I tried my best but every day the client would contact me and flip out, accusing me of abusing their good nature, not doing my job, etc. Eventually, I got fed up and fired the client, luckily before I got to those final chapters (shudder). 

I'm still left scratching my head. Why would you write a personal memoir in first-person and think it would be obviously changed to third, much less expecting the editor to automatically do that without explicitly asking for it.