HOMEPODCAST
SUBMIT STORY

I broke free from a 9-5 job recently and started freelancing. I provide a training/consulting service to corporate clients. A training provider hired me to go in under their brand to do work in a multinational drink company. We agreed on a fee and that they would pay me within at least 30 days of completion. In that time, I started a second project for them as well. 

I finished the job and sent an invoice. I nudged them after ten days. Nothing. I sent another reminder after twenty days. Nothing. Thirty days passed and I arranged a face to face meeting with the director of the company. 

Client: I'm sorry, we're still waiting on payment from the drink company, so until they pay us we can't pay you.

Me: Uh... My payment schedule contract was with you, not your client. 

Lots of shouting and table thumping ensued. Eventually, I told him that if I wasn't paid within three days I wouldn't hand over the second project.

I'm expecting a similar situation in January when payment for project 2 is due. I’m not going to be taking any more work from them so I’ll have my solicitor primed for action. The joys!

 

 

 

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Client: This Excel report is a piece of sh*t. It's incorrect!

Confused, I verified all the data and sent the report once again, receiving the same feedback.

Me: Could you be more specific about what's wrong?

Client: Here, look.

She made a share screen session and made the rows different colors. 

Client: See, now the report is correct! 

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An addition to the pantheon of Lorem Ipsum LOLs...

I submitted some presentation slide designs to a client who did not want to provide any copy (I explained I would use placeholder text) and received it back with one note.  

Client: What is this? The text is not even in English.

Because it's so important that the stuff that will be erased is in your language. 

 

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Four years ago a client asked me to add some content to her e-commerce site. I did. Then, four years later, the changed the site from Open Cart to WP.  That's when I received an angry email. 

Client: You cheated me! You uploaded that content without a category! Now everything is broken. 

Me: I don't even see how that's possible. If you need some things updated for that content to work, I can do that but this isn't my fault. 

I got started and even fixed about 1/3 of the issues her site was having, but she kept accusing me of slacking off and causing all these problems in the first place... instead of whoever managed the shift in platform. 

Eventually, I got fed up with unpaid work and constant allegations and just stopped. 

Client: What? You can't stop. I'll sue you! 

Me: You're welcome to try. 

You try to do something nice for someone... 

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My brother asked me if I could make a logo for a friend of his. I was extremely hesitant, but my brother swore up and down that he was a good guy, that it was a great opportunity for future work and there was NO WAY I would get screwed over. 

I contacted the client. We discussed what he wanted and it... wasn't much. He basically told me he knew nothing about this kind of thing and had no ideas or preferences for the design. He wouldn't even tell me colors he wanted, or even how simple or complex he wanted it to be. In hindsight, this should have been a massive red flag, but I was young and desperately needed money.

I did a few thumbnail sketches and sent them to him. 

Client: Sure, yeah that's fine. 

Me: ...Are you sure.

Client: Whatever.

Despite this lack of interest or feedback, I spent a good amount of time putting together options and sent them with watermarks. He never responded.

I texted him several times a week for MONTHS. Finally, two weeks after the deadline, he finally got back to me:

Client: Well, not only are you late...

I wasn't.

Client: ...but someone else gave me something better for free. 

He went on, telling me I was charging way too much, that the logos looked nothing like what he wanted, etc.

Me: Well I did a fair bit of work that I deserve compensation for. If you weren't happy with the final product I'm sorry, but you didn't give me ANY feedback or direction. 

Client: What? I MIGHT give half of my quoted price to your brother to give to me. I only asked you for anything as a favor to him in the first place. 

So yeah. I never saw a cent. I did look up the logo he used; it turns out it stolen from Shutterstock. Who I then notified about the unlicensed use of their IP.

You get what you paid for, and "free" = legal action. 

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Client: Part of the website's not working. This is absolutely mission critical. It must be fixed right away!

Me: Sure. I just need a few more details before I can do anything.

Client: Oh, it's 5 o'clock. Time to go home.

One weekend later: 

Client: Part of the website's not working. This is absolutely mission critical. It must be fixed right away!

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I created a new logo for a client. They also asked for a pure white version. 

As a jpeg. 

 

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Client: We want to eat Google for breakfast, but probably won't.

You think? Well, at least they have their expectations set correctly. 

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A client refused to pay me. I threatened legal action. He resorted to some horrible name calling. I got fed up.

Me: Pay me or I sue!

Client: You shouldn't threaten me. I have your address!

You mean the one I put on my resume? Yeah, scary.

Client: You don't know who you're dealing with - I'll send the Chinese mafia after you! 

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I run an online shop, and all of my products are listed on my site.

But somehow I've had multiple people e-mail me trying to order products I neither sell nor have ever sold.

This one client though. I told him I don't offer the products he wants. He persisted. I explained again that I don't have it.

Now today, he sends me an email with MADE-UP SKU codes for the products:

Client: See right here,,, you have it!

Because, obviously, making up a SKU code will **magically** make it appear in my inventory.

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