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SUBMIT STORY

Years ago when I was just starting in my field I worked for a small start-up company, designing their first product.  The work went well, but as always in R&D there were a few dead ends which we got pushed to "try anyway" because of some mysterious reasons known only to the manager.

The conversation below happened a few weeks AFTER we (3 engineers) finished the contract and were supposed to get paid.

Me: There's been quite a delay in payment. I know the company is well funded - why the wait? 

Client: Well, it's just that we`re reconsidering your payment based on your hours.

Me: What do you mean? the rate is in the contract... and frankly its quite low for the work we did!

Client:  No, it's not the rate, that's fine, it's the hours. A lot of the work didn't you did didn't wind up in the final product.  

Me: So you're saying that even though we agreed on this low-low rate, and did the work, and the project is done correctly and will enter production soon, and we are happy with all that, you want to ignore half our hours because the avenues you pushed us on didn't work out?

We got our payment the next day, but to this day this is the craziest thing I`ve ever been told by a client/boss/manager.

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Client: I've changed directions. Use this. 

No amount of careful planning, writing, concept work, design, review, and approval can overcome an executive who finds a picture of a pug dog wearing pink sunglasses on the Internet.

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I work at a law office as the communications manager. As a side project, I began helping our international clients with expedited passports. I have a good relationship with an expediting company and can help our clients 1 on 1 when they had trouble understanding the paperwork/needed hand-holding.  

Client: Okay, we want to leave this weekend. 

Me: Unfortunately, that won't be possible. I emailed you a week ago asking about your travel date, it will be impossible to process your passport in the time described. Also, I warned you 2 months ago that this would happen if you waited for [legal process not related to passport] to be finished. But you insisted that we wait. 

Client: (immediately calls) You said it would take 2-3 days!

Me: Two days from the agency appointment date. I was very clear about that. And because there is a Public Holiday Monday, it will be impossible unless you travel to [City] in person. Also, I only attend agency appointments by appointment so I have time to gather your paperwork. I have other meetings today and cannot leave the office. 

Client: Well we can't do that, it's impossible. We can't travel with the kids and we aren't good on US roads. What if we left a week or two from now instead?

Me: Yes, I can definitely help you make that happen! Let's meet at the agency on [date] and I will get things started with the expediting company. I'll email you a map and a list of what I need you to bring. I'm glad we found a solution and I look forward to seeing you then. You will save a lot of money this way as well. 

Client: Great! Thank you very much! We will meet you there. 

One day later: 

Client: We need it this weekend, you said 2 to 3 days, so we need to go to the agency right now and get it!

Of course, the agency is closed until after the holiday at this point - also acceptance agencies don't make passports, they only accept applications. 

Don't you love it when clients think they don't have to listen to what you're telling them? Making demands is no substitute for "reading comprehension." 

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I'm a social media expert & strategist; the client asked for specific assets to promote/showcase their products. We agreed on a strategy.

Client: Cool, these are the best proposal ever. Let's start with strategy 1. Can you put in action in a week?

I sent them detailed planning, and their only input was to decide which product goes first. I pinged them twice.

Client: Well, seems like you're not doing the job. We've been waiting a week.

Me: I've sent you emails here and here to have your input.

Client: (angry) No way, we never got your emails.

Me: I can prove emails were sent, received and read as I have the receipt.

Client: Who the hell did you send them to? We didn't get those emails, and we don't use that email address, so either you're lying and didn't do the job or you just sent our campaign to a stranger. Either way, you're incompetent. 

I didn't respond right away because that was a lot to deal with. Two hours later:

Client: Uh well, we think we'll go for strategy A. Good job on these!

I guess they found my emails. 

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The client sent me animated gifs to be used at the end of a broadcast sponsor banner spot. That's bad enough, but the gif didn't fit the template. I tweaked it to fit.

Client: We don't like it. Please do it closer to this proof.

The proof had the gif going outside the template.

Me: It has to be tweaked to fit.

Client: No, don't tweak it at all.

Me: ...Tell you what. here are the dimensions they gave me. If you can fit something in there, great.

Suddenly my original proof was perfectly fine and approved.

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I recently agreed to do a graphic design project for a friend of a good client. I was very hesitant to do it because it was a kind of difficult project on a tight deadline. However, I agreed to do it anyways on the very clear terms that they HAD to pick one of the three layout options I gave them by a specific date.

The night before I needed their choice I send a reminder, to which they say they'll "work on it"... the next morning (when I had planned to start drafting the ad) they sent half of a layout, clearly mocked up in Microsoft Paint.

Client: Can you use that? 

Me: Not really. And, as I stated when I agreed to this project, because of the tight deadline I don't have the time to create new concepts. Normally I would be willing, but I need you to pick from the concepts I sent you. 

Client: Can't you use what I sent you?

At this point they listed what they "liked" about their MS Paint version.

Me: OK, based on what you're saying you like I think then my second option I gave you would work best for what you want. I am concerned about being able to finish your ad on time if I don't spend all of my allotted time today on getting the actual draft done rather than finishing your layout.

Client: Okay, but could you [change one aspect of that layout that would ruin the entire composition]?

I didn't want this job when I started, and I definitely don't want it now. 

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Saw this while looking for a new job about 5 years ago:

Client: Cutting tool distributor is looking for an I.T. Technician
Job description:

- Manage the computer system. Upgrade needed.
- Update the inventory database.
- Manage the inventory
- Create a new brochure and a new catalog
- Update and maintain the website
- Taking care of shipping and receiving
- Answer the phone

Post: permanent, full time, 35hrs/week.
Salary offered: $13.45/hr

I passed...

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Client: I need to reorder my business cards, but please take the name off of them.

Me: Take... the name off your business card?

Client: Yes.

I do exactly this and send off a proof.

Client: Why did you take my name off? I need that on there!

There was no other name on the card. 

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I started working with this creative agency that had this new high profile client. The client was a big pharmaceutical company, and most of my design work wound up being for them. They didn't give enough time for anything; basically every day I was working on several big campaigns that had to be turned around in two weeks. 

Even though it was stressful, I ended up adapting to their way of work. I stayed late on most days. 

The thing is that the pay was very-very low and I started to realize how important was my job for them. This pharma client was the biggest we had and was very demanding.

I asked for a raise. They downplayed every reason I gave them to demonstrate I deserved more.

Me: I'm working a ton of extra hours for this client. 

Client: We don't pay extra time. This is just normal for agency life. 

They looked me with a straight face while saying this.

I stayed for almost a year more after I asked for a raise (I still don't know why). I received a pitiful "yearly raise" and realized that it made me more angry than anything. I started looking for work that paid better, found it, and quit.  

Two months later, I talked to an old friend who was still at that agency. Apparently when I quit nobody could keep up with the workload for this client. They had to hire two extra designers to keep on top of it. 

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Me: (replying to a public inquiry that included a budget) Hi. I'm able develop the site for you. Here are my references... However, it would require a bigger budget. Can you do XXX?

Client: Thank you for your quote. However, this is my 4th time inquiring for the site and I've gotten a lot of different quotes. I know it's possible to develop it in the stated budget.

Me: But you haven't hired anyone in that time?

Client: It can be done. Goodbye. 

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