Me: Is it 32 or 64 bits?
I’ve worked directly with the Managing Director of an industrial company for years. He’s always been pretty good to work with, but constantly changes his mind. I’ve gotten used to this.
One day, I got an email from some kind of agency who were apparently doing other work for this client, asking me to supply samples of my work for consideration when they “move forward with the project.” The only thing is I’d already been working on that project for six months. Apparently, the client had another change of heart and hired an in-between without telling me.
Me: If you’re looking for the work I’ve already completed on the project, that’s fine with me, but I do have an outstanding invoice at the moment. Honestly, as far as I’m concerned, I already have the job.
This seemed to confuse the agency person. She hemmed and hawed, clearly going back to the Managing Director who hired them for clarification.
Agency: Okay, fine. Can you confirm a firm quote for this upcoming shoot?
The shoot was two hours away and included a HUGE list of content sections for a video running only two minutes.
Me: Well, I can give you a ballpark, but I’m really not sure exactly what you need here so I’m leery of giving you a firm quote until I have a more clear idea of the job.
Client: Well, it’s urgent. Please let me know ASAP.
I thought about it for a day and then came up with a number.
Me: Okay, I can commit to $[X] for the shoot.
Client: Thanks for getting in touch! I’m out of the office until [after the shoot is scheduled] but will get in touch with you as soon as I’m back.
I think I’m walking away from this one.
I’m a photographer and aspiring photo archivist. I was asked to digitize photos that were on display at a funeral/viewing. There were 65 photos.
Me: Sure, I could have this done pretty soon, no problem!
Client: Great! I didn’t have tape and didn’t want to use glue, so (with pride in their voice) guess what I used?
Me: (with pronounced fear in my voice) Uh… what?
What was going to be an hour and a half project turned into two days of scraping and cleaning photos.
I was designing a website for a client. Over time, the client requested lots of little changes to the content. One weird result of this, though, is that any photos that included women were slowly removed.
Client: Could you remove that person in this photo?
Me: Okay, but that means there are now no more women on the website?
Client: That’s fine, we’re not marketing just for women. We’re not sexist!
Me: I’m back from my work trip. Do you still need those modifications to your logo files?
Client: Hey! I was actually able to talk with my IT guy and he taught me how to use gimp to do all of that. But I will definitely let you know if I need anything else done.
Me: (WRITHING IN SYMPATHETIC PAIN FOR USING GIMP)
I had made a packing design that was approved but not yet fully paid for.
Client: We are really in a hurry, so please send fonts and colors you’ve used ASAP. And what software do you use to design things? This is urgent!
Me: What do you mean? Do you need print files? Sure, but I need to be paid before I send you the finished files.
Client: Why do we have to pay you? This was our idea of design! I even sent you mock-up in Photoshop!
Client: We want you to make the text the same color blue as the background.
Me: The text is directly over top of the background. If it’s the same blue, you won’t be able to see it. It will just be a blue box.
Client: Please, just do as we ask.
I made the edit and showed the client what their artwork would look like.
Client: Okay, make the text white again.