"I can download it to view it but I can't seem to save it."
Client after downloading an image from WeTransfer.
Client: (after 4 emails of me highly trying to talk them into using fewer words on their billboard ad) Just do what you’re told. The design I sent you will work.
I’m a designer with 25 years of experience. I both design and build websites in WordPress. I created a mockup of a site for a new client and submitted it for review. The client didn’t like the design of the header.
Client: I don’t like the top area of the page. Show me something different. Try to look at it through the eyes of a designer.
I'll see what I can do, asshole.
I'm a freelance building contractor. I gave a quote of 300€ to build a well on a site.
Client: It should be less than that. You don't have to do everything from zero. I'll give you 100€ which is three times more than the 30€ two other guys quoted me (I can show you their texts if you don't believe me).
Why would I believe those texts if you're not already choosing those contractors in the first place?
A close family member emailed me at 7 PM on a Sunday.
Client: Hey, sorry to bother you, but I have something I need to be translated by 10 AM by tomorrow. Can you do that for me, please?
I’d done similar requests for him before. They were always quite short and easy so I assumed this one would be too.
Ten minutes later he sent me a five-page long contract, full of legal terms and expressions, to be translated.
I finished at 6 AM, sent the translation, slept two hours and then arrived late for work.
Client: I want to report a blocking priority 1 bug.
Me: What is it?
Client: You remember that logo I gave you to put on the site?
Me: Sure. The site isn’t live yet though.
Client: We want to use another logo.
Me: That’s your priority 1 bug?
I’m a CAD-Drafter freelancing for a construction company. The client is a big company modernizing their headquarters. After a month of work, I send the client my blueprints for approval.
Client: Everything looks fine. Can you change these colors, though?
Me: Sorry, no, those are standardized colors defined by a DIN standard. From what I can see you want to use colors that are reserved for totally different technologies.
Client: It’s really important that you use the colors specified in the previous mail. Those are our company colors and we take our branding very seriously!
Me: I don’t see the importance of branding as these plans are only used for construction and maybe repairs by skilled workers. Besides if something was to happen due to somebody reading the blueprints wrong I’m liable.
They still keep insisting on the changed colors so I decide to contact the construction company. My contact tells me that they’ve had similar problems and that he’ll just send them a ludicrous quotation - citing my extensively increased workload (essentially 20 clicks) and the short deadline - to knock the idea out of their head. The next morning he calls me back.
Contact: So I’ve got good and bad news. The good news is that that’s probably the quickest you’ll ever make 8000€…
Fortunately, the building hasn’t burned down yet. Point taken: Never underestimate the love of management for their branding.
I do some freelance photography work on the side to help fund my photography hobby. I’ve done a couple of small shows for a couple of friend’s bands, and have gotten some great feedback on the photos that I’ve taken. One of the local promoters took notice of the traction I was gaining with the local scene and this exchange ensued.
Client: I’m putting on a battle of the bands over the next couple of months. Would you be interested in taking pictures?
Me: Okay – well that’s six shows, each show is about 4 hours and I’ll need to do about 6 hours of editing and sorting per set. I’m definitely interested, but since it’s such a large undertaking I would need to discuss compensation.
Client: Ok. Cool. Well, don’t do it if it’s an ordeal.
Me: It’s no ordeal – I can get a contract over to you to sign by tomorrow.
Client: If it’s a pain don’t worry about it.
This is where I realized he wanted this to be done for free but wasn’t saying it outright.
Me: It’s not a pain, it’s just the time involved. I enjoy doing it, it’s a side job for me though.
Client: If you have the free time come down, if not no biggie. Everything we have for budget is tied up in the show.
Translation: come shoot it for free anyway.
Me: With editing, each show is at least 8-10 hours of work for me – if I’m going to do that, I need to be paid. I’m into the event so I’d be willing to do it for $150 per show, which is really cheap for what I’m doing. If you want I can put together a contract for you and you can have a look.
Client: I completely understand.
No, you don’t.
Client: It’s a lot of work to take pictures all night.
The photos are the easy part.
Client: I personally don’t do contracts of any kind. So sending me anything wouldn’t matter.
Translation, I still want you to come shoot for free, and I’m terrified of contracts, so I won’t agree to one because I don’t want to be legally bound to my end of a deal.
Me: Contracts are pretty great. They just make sure everyone holds up their end of the deal.
I never heard back.
Why there are NO clients from Hell: Rachel Gertz and managing people!
At her company Louder Than Ten, Rachel Gertz teaches clients how to manage projects; that means getting lots of people on board, on task, and on message in a hurry. She firmly believes that there is no such thing as a client from hell for one very simple and surprising reason that she shares in the episode!
Need a lift to your day? Rachel is endlessly upbeat and positive and has some winning strategies that will make you better at dealing with clients AND yourself!
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