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Get ready for holiday marketing with 980+Christmas elements for only $12!

Halloween is almost here, which means Christmas ads are about to start. That's annoying as heck, but it's a fact of life.

>Might as well get ready with nearly 1000 Christmas elements for $12. 

Look, we're not endorsing the playing of Christmas songs in November, but chances are at least one client you work with does, and they're going to want materials put together soon Make a distasteful job easier with over 980 premium holiday elements that will let you put together flyers, posters, and banners quickly. Snowmen, snowflakes, sweaters, presents - there's no need to re-invent the wheel here. $12 and you can get all your Christmas jobs over with in just minutes so you can get back to enjoying the fullness of the seasons like a reasonable person. 

All the elements in this bundle would typically add up to $154, but this week you can save 92% and get them all for $12 and save yourself a candy-cane flavored headache this fall. 

> Check out the deal here. 

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Everything seemed perfect. A client I’d worked with before recommended me to her, she gave detailed descriptions of what she wanted the illustrations to portray, she suggested payment in advance because it was December and that would be better for her taxes and bookkeeping. I was more than happy to agree, expecting further details after the holidays.

January came and I’d gotten no information or any contact from her at all. She hadn’t even given me a deadline. I got worried and contacted her and we scheduled a meeting for the very next day.

Client: Did you bring anything with you to show your progress so far?

Me: I have nothing with me, no. I need you to give me further details to start.

Client: I’m not used to working with graphic artists. I don’t know these things.

Me: What sizes should I make the illustrations? Are they being printed? Who is printing it and what files do they need?

She really had no clue about anything. I got her to agree to print the illustrations through a printing company on A3 size paper.

Client: Great! I have to show these next week on Friday. Could you get them to me by Wednesday?

It was Thursday the week before. I was forced to work all weekend, and on the Monday I found out the printing company needed the finished files no later than Tuesday morning. I stayed up until 3 AM working to get everything finished.

On Sunday I received a single sentence email from the client thanking me for my “fantastic work”. I sent her a reply advising her to communicate more with the people she works with in the future to avoid misunderstandings and stress.

She never responded.

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We only retain clients we want

I was working with a nightmare client at an agency. He was constantly condescending, made impossible requests, and rude to everyone. His jobs started moving further down the priority list as we went because everyone hated working with him.

Client: You guys need a customer retention strategy.

We had one. We just weren't using it. 

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Down with Upwork

Job posting on Upwork.

Client: Hello, I’m looking for an experienced Copyeditor and Line editor. If you also do a Developmental editing it will be a plus. My book is around 11 K words. Topic- Self-help. Time limit-2-3 days.

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Wanted: expert in Country music and being broke

The following is a verbatim job posting I saw recently: 

Client: I’m looking for someone to write high-quality concert annotations for a country music website. The candidate must have some expertise or be aware of the specifics of such kind of content. Your interest and familiarity with the country music world and desire to become a part of the project is highly preferable.

  • excellent writing skills are strictly required, correct American style English, absolutely no non-natives
  • ability to write in a news style manner
  • this is a long term project, thus I need a writer on a long-term basis
  • the approximate volume of work is 10-15 tour annotations a month (which is 300-350 words) plus 30-50 smaller annotations on a specific city within a tour (which is 120-150 words), the number of annotations will depend on how frequently the tours are being announced plus some other reasons too; the volume of work will be growing with the growth of the project
  • you must complete jobs in a timely manner
  • you must be prepared to do a paid trial job and include samples of your previous works as well. The rate would be 2$-$3 per 100 words to start off (plus $bonuses for a well-done job) and can be raised after at least a year of successful collaboration.
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I can’t pay you – it’s Chinese New Year

Client: I’m sorry I haven't paid you yet. It’s Chinese New Year, I’ve been super busy.

Me: Maybe, but I’ve been after you for three months. Chinese New Year isn’t three months long.

Client: I don’t want to pay the fees. Can you leave it up without fees?

Me: No.

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Retro cool never goes out of style! Get 1100+ vintage branding elements for $14!

Good branding never goes out of style. This bundle is a short cut to great branding and design. 

> Seriously, you could make a career with the 1100+ elements in this bundle.

Whether you're branding a beard oil, a line of t-shirts or just designing posters for the company team-building camping trip, this bundle is going to make your process a dream. Retro logo templates, free fonts, vector illustrations and more make it easy to whip up an ironic scout badge or a billboard for an adventure tourism company. I'm half tempted to get the bundle just to make labels for my home-brew. These elements are fun and specific and will save you time and money if you want to harness this look for a design.

Everything in this bundle retails for $415 regularly, but for just the next few days you can save 97% and get them all for $14! 

> Check out the deal here.

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Non-payment policy

As an aspiring freelance travel journalist, I sent a story pitch and a story outline to an online magazine with a link to my online portfolio.

Client: Good stuff! This topic reminds me our beginning. We’ll gladly print this story.  

Me: Wonderful! Can I ask – I didn’t see pay rates on the submission portal. What can I expect for finishing this?

Client: Oh, we never pay for a new author’s first story. It’s policy.

Me: If it’s policy, you could put that online before people go through the effort of submitting.

We never spoke in person, but I could FEEL their shrug through space and time.

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We are having issues sending…

Client: We are having issues sending and receiving emails to one partner business specifically. Please resolve this issue.

Me: Are you receiving any error messages back?

Client: No, we need this issue resolved.

Me: I have tested email send/receive and it seems to be working. As well, we reached out to your email recipient. They verify they are receiving your email but have not had time to reply.

Client: This issue has been going on for a few weeks. Please just resolve it.

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Wrong software….

I was working on-site when I heard two clients discussing something in the background.

Client 1: I’m trying to edit this image in Word.

Client 2: You can’t edit images in Word, you need to open the Word file in Paint.

The worst part? These two run a design studio.

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