A client hadn't paid me in months. Luckily I had a contract:
Me: If you don't pay immediately you're going to start incurring late fees.
Client: All right! All right! Jeez. I'm putting it in the mail right now.
It didn't dawn on me until later that all our transactions had been online to that point. Three days later I received a check - postdated three months later.
Jokes on him, though - I deposited it in an ATM and the bank accepted it that day.
Client: Make it pop.
Me: Really? I'm using contrasting colors and sharp lines. I'd say it already "pops."
Client: I want it to pop like a balloon. This pops like a zit.
Client: Okay! I'm about to check out for the weekend. Will this be ready by Monday?
Me: I'm also taking the weekend off, so no.
Client: I thought freelancers all worked seven days a week.
Me: What color would you like for this design?
Client: Lime green.
Me: Okay! Sounds like you have a specific shade in mind. Can you send me a reference photo?
The client sent a photo of limes.
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I found this guy on Craigslist a few months ago asking for an illustrator for his book for prices that were basically laughable. I reached out with some suggested prices that were still extremely, extremely cheap. Then this little debacle happened:
Client: I hope you are doing well. I am not one to “beat around the bush” so let me get straight to the point. You have sent me 3 emails and I will address each one within in this email response. Before we begin, I want you to understand, I am using this as a teaching moment and I hope that you are not offended by my words, but I understand it is likely to happen and I apologize in advance. I know you do not know much about me, but I do have a Business Management Degree and I run my own business. When I said I would help you become a professional artist, I meant it. Part of that process will be how well you handle critics and how well you take that information and either improve your crafts, or simply give up and become like the majority who gave up on their dreams and now live a monotonous life of get up and go work for someone else (making the business owner wealthy in the process), wondering why they’re not happy with their existence.
Your first email:
“Thank you, sir! But I would to be paid per drawing this time & I’d like to negotiate the prices. Please let me know if these are fair for you:
B/W sketch- $5
Colored drawing- $15
Book cover- $25
I find your request to renegotiate your options to be quite rude, hint at a level of greediness, and based on a complete lack of understanding of our business relationship. Therefore I do not accept your offer and believe the price quotes to be outrageous.
I do not believe you truly understand our business relationship. I am not your boss, I am your customer. My part in this business relationship is writing stories, your business is creating illustrations. If I hire you for a job, you are a cost to me with a certain value amount, and I am your customer paying you for a service that you provide. In order to receive any form of payment, the value (need/want) must always exceed the costs. This is true in every transaction that every happens. For example, you pay for food because the value (or need/want) is greater than the cost (the amount of money or the feeling of being hungry). When you choose to purchase anything, it is because the value (or need/want it fills) is greater than the cost (the money or your desire to be without the need/want).
You have requested an increase of what you will cost me (your pay) by a total of 225%, but you have not increased your value to me by 225%, or even by anything for that matter. Requesting a raise by a specific dollar amount is how mundane people do it, and are almost always denied. Request a raise by a percent and then justify it with why you deserve the percentage increase. Let me clear this up for you… I have in my contact list over 25 different artists from all over the world who responded to my ad. These artists have a tremendous more amount of skill than you do and by this I mean they have each sent me links to their websites, various commissions, and examples of their skill which ranges from 5-15 different styles of drawing, depending on the artist. This means at the lowest level, you are competing on a world-wide market, and your competition can draw anything from stick-figures to still-life, and from Manga to 3D rendering, which includes actual animation sequences. Have you increased your skill level by 225% so that the increase in pay you demand is justified? Have you added 225% more to your repertoire of different drawing styles and techniques? Remember, you have only shown me variations of one style and openly admit not being able to draw some things, curly hair, buildings, horses, things in motion, etc. In order to request additional money, you must increase the value of your service. There are 3 criteria in which you should excel before you ever request a raise from any employer or justify an increase in cost to your customer…
This tirade continued for another 700 words. He was so offended at the thought of paying $25 for hours of work that he wrote an entire TEDx lecture.
I do a little video editing as a hobby, not as an actual job, but it’s something I’m moderately good at.
My class in college was hosting a party and the people responsible for it wanted to hire a guy to make a short promotional video for it. They were complaining that they couldn’t find anyone who charged less than $200, and then one of them remembered I do this kind of thing.
Client: Can you make a quick little video?
Me: Sure, but I’m not a professional, so it definitely won’t come out looking professional.
Client: That’s okay! We just don’t have the 200 bucks to spend on this!
Me: Oh, well, I’m only gonna charge you a ticket to the party!
Tickets were $50.
Client: …But you do this as a hobby.
Me: Yes, but it’s gonna take time and effort, and I’m just asking for the price of actually going to the party.
Client: You know, you’re really lacking in school spirit. If you’re not gonna do this for free, we might as well hire a guy and pay the $200. At least it’ll be high quality.
They ended up not hiring anyone and there was no promotional video. The party, predictably enough, flopped.
A client wanted a movie clip inserted into the magazine.
I put the video clip thumbnail in the proof, assuming that's what they meant.
Client: I pressed the play button and nothing happened.
Uhhh... yeah.
I work as a senior graphic designer at a printing company that also offers trade-show and display solution. One of our customers is a dentist and his wife is a holistic therapist. They are going to come to a show and they need a portable booth solution.
They sent me a number of photos for consideration. All of them were the cheesiest photos that almost every dentist office uses to advertise their denture business. Some of them have “Happy Valentine” wordings in the back of the couple, and some are more towards to “Funeral” service… They asked me to choose one out of them. I chose the one that less “dating” and “funeral” vibe and told them why I chose it. The next morning, his wife told me she wanted to use photo of a couple making a heart with their hands. My boss and I laughed, but we decided to go with what customer wants because, well, customer is king!
A week after, the booth was done and delivered to them. The wife suddenly called my boss at the end of today to tell him that she didn’t like the font used for the main slogan.
Client: I didn’t expect that font.
Me: But we had not heard from you saying that you didn’t like it. Didn’t you see the proof sent by my designer before you approved it?
Client: Yes I did, but I didn’t see the font.
Me: What about the printed proof? I showed it to you and your husband. It clearly show how the font looks like.
Client: Well, I asked 3 people in my office and none of them liked the font.
Me: But you approved it. Had we heard that you don’t like the font, we would have changed to the font you want.
Client: (10 seconds silence) …I still don’t like it.
Over the years I’ve done some work for my alma mater, primarily for student organizations, It’s typically easy stuff, a simple flyer here, a postcard there, and I don’t charge much (and it’s also great for my relatively thin portfolio).
As expected, the cheapest clients can sometimes be the worst but a lot of students are generally understanding. Recently however, I was working with a faculty member who sent me three emails in the space of an hour:
Client: Did I submit the flyers for print yet? It should be done by now.
Client: Here’s a typo in a name I submitted that I forgot to mention several emails ago.
Client: Please ad this sponsor logo.