Client: I received an email from you inviting me to a shared folder on Dropbox. What should I do with it?
Me: Read it.
A powerful "duh" from the Clients From Hell archives!
A powerful "duh" from the Clients From Hell archives!
A powerful "duh" from the Clients From Hell archives!
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I was working on a submission package for a client for a big government contract. The deadline, for some reason, was on a Monday. The client knew that, I knew that, we all knew that. We had two weeks to put together the application.
The client dragged their heels on everything - giving me source content to draw from, design materials, templates. I pulled together a full draft the prior Tuesday and pushed it to them to give me feedback ASAP.
They gave me major revisions... at 6 PM on Friday.
You know how sometimes in movies, a magic spell turns someone solid, and then they turn to dust which blows away in the wind? I felt like I saw that happen to my weekend.
I was working with a client who kept asking for revision after revision for a design (I'd made the mistake of not limiting the number in the contract, since I THOUGHT it would be a pretty simple job). I finally spoke up.
Me: Just so you know, after this revision I'm going to have to start charging you for my time. We're well past the initial scope of the budget at this point.
Client: Oh, okay. Let's just go with the third version, then. I liked that one best.
We were at revision seven. He was just trying to see what other versions would look like.
Years ago, a client phoned me to come in and talk to him about some posters and print ads I was designing for him. He asked if I was available now, and while it was a bit of a hassle to go talk to him there were a few things that I wanted to get his opinion on so I agreed.
When I showed up, he was the only person in his store:
Client: Oh, you're here! Hey, I need to run out for a second and my employee called in sick at the last second. Can you just watch the till while I'm out? I'll just be five minute.
He was sixteen minutes. Luckily, nobody came in while he was out.
He didn't admit that this was the only reason why he wanted to meet, but I knew.
What's the most "out of scope" job you've ever been asked to do?
After turning around a full branding and visual identity package on time and on budget.
Client: Can I just say, working with you has been a real professional. You're a real professional.
Me: Thank you.
Client: You could actually turn this into a real job if you wanted to.
After giving a client his requested site design, he made it clear he wasn’t pleased.
Me: But that’s what you asked for…
Client: Yeah, but I meant that figuratively.
Me: So you don’t want it to look like this?
Client: No, I do. Just think of the site design as a metaphor of a real website.
Me: What?
A "what does that even mean?" from the Clients From Hell archives.
I'm a wedding photographer, and after a long year I'm starting to book up for fall now that people are starting to get vaccinated.
I swear to god every other client delivers something like the following:
Client: So do you have some kind of "welcome back" discount?
No. No, I do not. The past year was really, really hard, and I'm not going to cut my prices now that you need me.
I don't say that. I just smile. And charge the full amount.
I do market research. A client hired me to create a new pricing strategy for a product (I can't say what or he might see this). I put in hours of research, conducted focus group testing, and produced two viable strategies that I presented with a full list of pros and cons, with my personal recommendation for one.
He didn't want either of them.
Client: Let's go with [$30 over my most expensive option].
Me: Um... okay? What are you basing that on?
Client: I just feel it'll work, and I want to be in the luxury market.
Client: Instead of edits or comments, I’ve just drawn sad faces in places where I don’t like the copy.
A "you've expressed your emotions, but nothing else" moment from the Clients From Hell archives.