After sending a brochure layout to a client, the client called me in an absolute tizzy because page three contained “too many widows!”

Me: Okay, let me take a look…

I open the file and can’t find a single “widow” on page three.

Me: You said page three, correct?

Client: Yes! There are too many widows! I can’t stand widows! You need to fix them!

Me: I’m sorry, but…

Client: Too. Many. Widows.

Me: It’s just that I just don’t see any…

Client: At the end of line 3, and line 7, and line 9, and line 22! They’re there!

Me: Oh, you mean the hyphens?

Client: Hyphens, widows, whatever!