"Inform the Googles we’re launching!"
May 21, 2013
May 20, 2013
Me: Just a heads up, if you log onto our website, you can see that the site is down. My publisher has been unreliable and I am working as quickly as I can to get the site back up. I’m so sorry for this; I’ll let you know when the article is posted as soon as possible.
Client: Okay. What’s the website again? Sorry.
I give him the URL.
Client: Hey, it says the page is broken!
Me: I just told you it’s down.
Client: I thought you meant it’s DOWN like FRESH! I won’t have this!
May 19, 2013
Client: The site isn’t working right.
Me: That’s strange.
I download a page and take a look at the code.
Me: It looks like a bunch of the code is missing. Did you have anyone modify the site?
Client: No, nothing like that.
Me: Well there are entire chunks of code missing that was there yesterday.
Client: Oh yeah, that was me, some of the code seemed unnecessary. Back to the issue at hand, why isn’t the site working?
May 18, 2013
"Dear God, take down the site! Take it down! Hackers can sweep right in, right click, and look at our code!"
May 17, 2013
"The ‘Paste from Word’ button doesn’t work. Do I need to copy from Word first?"
May 14, 2013
"Can we change the print layout of the web page? We feel that, if someone printed it in landscape, it would look better this way."
May 03, 2013
Shortly after a client viewed the brief, agreed to the Scope of Work, signed a contract, and paid a non-refundable deposit, the following phone call took place:
Client: Would it be breaking the law if we just called off this whole contract business and you did the work for me on the side? I would still pay you.
Me: Well… you already signed the contract and paid us a non-refundable deposit. We would still need a contract to do work.
Client: But I need you to update my website!
Me: Which is why you hired us, right?
Client: Well, what’s it even going to look like?
Me: I’m resending you the brief now, but as you may remember, we’re going to use elements from your old website and..
Client: What? I have an old website? Is it on the Internet?
May 01, 2013
Our client has a CMS, but can’t add an HTML table. His viable solution was to send its source code for it to us. In a Word document.
April 29, 2013
"I assume people don’t put ‘www’ before an email address anymore do they?"
April 17, 2013
Client: Can our customers visit our website while they’re in our restaurant?
Me: Of course, they can visit the website on their smartphone or laptop. Does your restaurant have WiFi available for customers?
Client: No, not yet. But maybe you can put WiFi on our website?
