Me: Just a heads up, if you log onto our website, you can see that the site is down. My publisher has been unreliable and I am working as quickly as I can to get the site back up. I’m so sorry for this; I’ll let you know when the article is posted as soon as possible.
Client: Okay. What’s the website again? Sorry.
I give him the URL.
Client: Hey, it says the page is broken!
Me: I just told you it’s down.
Client: I thought you meant it’s DOWN like FRESH! I won’t have this!
Client: The site isn’t working right.
Me: That’s strange.
I download a page and take a look at the code.
Me: It looks like a bunch of the code is missing. Did you have anyone modify the site?
Client: No, nothing like that.
Me: Well there are entire chunks of code missing that was there yesterday.
Client: Oh yeah, that was me, some of the code seemed unnecessary. Back to the issue at hand, why isn’t the site working?
Shortly after a client viewed the brief, agreed to the Scope of Work, signed a contract, and paid a non-refundable deposit, the following phone call took place:
Client: Would it be breaking the law if we just called off this whole contract business and you did the work for me on the side? I would still pay you.
Me: Well… you already signed the contract and paid us a non-refundable deposit. We would still need a contract to do work.
Client: But I need you to update my website!
Me: Which is why you hired us, right?
Client: Well, what’s it even going to look like?
Me: I’m resending you the brief now, but as you may remember, we’re going to use elements from your old website and..
Client: What? I have an old website? Is it on the Internet?
Our client has a CMS, but can’t add an HTML table. His viable solution was to send its source code for it to us. In a Word document.
Client: Can our customers visit our website while they’re in our restaurant?
Me: Of course, they can visit the website on their smartphone or laptop. Does your restaurant have WiFi available for customers?
Client: No, not yet. But maybe you can put WiFi on our website?