A customer wanted us to stay open an extra hour so he could pick up his business cards. I offered to ship them to his office overnight, but he refused.
Client: You know, it’s inconsiderate to be closed at 5pm. Some people just can’t fit that around their schedules… (his speech was inaudible due to some loud, bassy noises)
Me: I’m sorry, you’re not coming in clearly. Where are you?
Client: I’m at the theatre. The movie doesn’t even end until 5:30pm. Case in point!
"My hands look sort of ashy in that picture. Can’t you just put on a lotion filter?"
I’m a web developer/programmer, and I’m working with a web/print designer. During discussions of a website in development…
Me: For reference, to help you figure out what height to specify, the height of the Home page slide show (right hand) column, from top line to bottom line is 631px. On the Portfolio Page it is slightly taller at 689px.
Client: I am not going to deal with pixels.
"I wish you’d call me instead of leaving me voicemails."
A client who doesn’t understand that they need to answer their phone for that to work.
Me: (via email) Here is a link to your site for final approval before it goes live.
Client: It would be better if I just stopped by your office so I can see it. I’m more of a visual person.
"Could you please center the letters of the Captcha, and clean the background? It´s difficult to read at the moment…."
We had sent a logo draft and one of the color codes for RGB was 196-13-66. The following was part of an otherwise pertinent reply…
Client: I like this red color. However, can you give another RGB than “G 13” & “B 66” (as I do not like the numbers 13 and 66)? My favorite numbers are 22, 7, and 84.
My client was a politician running for office. He asked me to design a calendar as a part of his campaign strategy, with all of the names of his board members fit into one design, sacrificing their whole names. I found the demands challenging, as there was just too much text. So I asked permission to go with a smaller font.
Client: (blinks his eyes in confusion) But it still has to be readable.
Me: It still is. But you don’t want to cut down the text or make it look cluttered by entering the surname to the next line, we’ll need to go smaller.
Client: But it still has to be readable.
Me: Tell you what…
I take out my handy-dandy font size reference card from my wallet…
Me: …this is what 5 pts and 4pts look like in actual size. They’re just the right size for the small space.
Client: Not that small. Make it a bit big.
He then takes out a magazine and points on the masthead.
Client: This font - make it this size.
Me: That’s a font size 72. A hundred names with that font size can’t fit in one 13cm x 16cm sized board.
Just received an email from a client for whom I did a logo design. She wants me to “turn it into a word doc so (she) can edit it.”
Client: I want to do this thing on my Facebook page.
Me: Unfortunately, we can’t do that anymore. Facebook has removed some of the features we’d need to make that happen.
Client: But the article says I can.
Me: The article was published in 2011, and Facebook has made changes since then.
Client: Okay, so build me a new Facebook that can do that.
Me: None of the (300) people that like your page would sign up for a new service for just your store’s page.
Client: I’ll make them sign up. What’s the cost?
I quoted an exorbitant amount of money.
Client: Would you accept a share of the profits?
Client: But it would be very popular.
Client: Oh. Well, can you just put a new picture on my page instead then?