Did a logo design for a client, and after it was approved, he asked for some letterhead concepts. I emailed him a few with Greek text for the address and phone.
Client: Where are we on the letterhead?
Me: I sent you the concepts, but I need an address and phone number to get the final drafts done. Did you sign a lease for that stuff yet?
Client: Still deciding, but I want to get the letterhead printed. Oh, and envelopes too!
Me: And what address goes on the envelope?
Client: I haven’t signed the lease yet! Why do you keep harping on it?
Client: I don’t understand why I’m being charged 10 hours for this, it seems like it should take about 1 or 2 hours, TOPS.
Me: Well, it may seem that way, but it was quite involved. The good news is it is set up now and you can manage it with the front end and you will never need to set it up again.
Client: I took a web design class once. I’m positive this would only take me 1 or 2 hours and I’m not even an expert.
"We don’t need an editor. We’re just going to have everybody send in their submissions and the magazine should format itself from there."
The client was about to launch a new product, so they needed their website very quick. After a few revisions of the design, they were happy. Then I got a phone call.
Client: Look, we really like this new design, but also think it needs to be more spicy.
Me: Spicy? What do you mean?
Client: You know, have some animation and such. It would look less boring.
Me: The deadline you’ve set is really strict. I don’t think I’ll find the time to work on animations.
Client: Don’t worry, I’ve planned this up. My little one [13 years old son] knows some Flash and Blender. He has already drawn the characters.
Client: Have you finished the design for the two-pager?
Me: I haven’t received any creative direction or content. I’m not even sure what the 2 pager is about, to tell you the truth. Can you brief me?
Client: Well, I can’t write the content until I have the design.
Via email: Can you call me so we can discuss how this advertisement should be animated?
Via phone: Can you put a typewriter effect on it?
That was the whole conversation.
A client of the company I work for got tired of paying for our design services, so they hired their own designers. According to their company’s rep, these two designers were “amazingly talented” and had “years of experience” that would help them do the job faster - and better - than I had ever been capable of. They were still going to print with us, they just wanted to use these “real professionals” to design all of their products.
The next day I got a call from the designers asking if we were able to work with Microsoft Paint. When I informed them that any print material should really be done in InDesign, the response I got was “Oh yeah, I’ve used that a couple times.”
"So, if you don’t print the design, and just email it to me or something, it’s free right?"
We were creating a website for a client. We had to use her company’s CMS system which we (and all employees in the company) were trained to use. She skipped the training. Before a new or edited page could go live, she had to approve it. Instead of using the CMS system, she insisted that I take and email her screen captures of every web page for her review.
One day, she called me.
Client: You screwed this all up! The web pages are all wrong
Me: Oh God, what happened?
Client: None of the links work!
A new client runs bed and breakfast company that just added a new lodge. They wanted photos retouched for their website and newsletter..
Client: I’ve attached the photo. I just want it to look nice, but I could do with it by the end of the day.
The attached photo is a dull-looking snapshot of the lodge, taken in early January at about 4:30pm, with very little visible though the heavy snowfall. I do my best to warm up the look of the lodge so that it looks nice and cosy on the inside.
Client: No! That doesn’t look nice! I meant like a nice summer afternoon.
Me: There are 8-inches of snow. The pond is frozen solid.
Client: Can’t you just Photoshop the snow out of it?
Me: Not really. If you have some other reference photos then I could try and recreate the finished lodge, but it would basically be a digital painting by the time I’m finished.
Client: Who said anything about a painting? I just want you to get rid of the snow from the photo I sent you using the photo I sent you. Is that so hard?
Me: Yes! Exceedingly.
