Clients from Hell

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October 19, 2014

I created a PDF of some gift tags for a client. They were arranged in portrait orientation so they would print on an 8.5” x 11” page like a regular document. I sent them to her, she said they were perfect, and I forgot about the transaction.

A few weeks later, she writes to me in a panic.

Client: Your file is corrupt. When I print it, the bottom and top are cut off and it’s centered on the page with a bunch of white space on the side.

Me: Did you make sure to change your printer settings to print in portrait?  You probably have it set to landscape.

To further prove my point, I printed out the exact file I sent her, took a picture of it, and sent the picture showing it printed correctly.  I also attached the same file I originally sent her and replied again.

Me: I just printed it and it worked perfectly (as you can see by the photo I sent you). I also reattached the file. You’ll just need to change your printer settings to portrait.

Client: No, it’s not that. This file is corrupt. I’ll just have to have someone else fix it since you won’t.

I let it go. The next day:

Client: So, I figured out what the problem was. I was printing in landscape.

October 10, 2014

I was doing a shoot for a promo video. The girl appearing in it was nice enough, if not a little flighty, and we agreed we could finish the shoot the next day.

When I got to the set, she had dyed her hair deep purple (as opposed to the dusty blonde she had the day before).

When I told her we had a problem, she shrugged and said, “Actresses change hairstyles all the time. Nobody will notice.”

The video was Old West themed.

October 08, 2014

I’ve been working to redesign a client’s website for and everything was going great. Client was seemingly happy, he kept signing off on milestones - until the final sign off to go live. This is how the phone call went:

Client: I’ve decided I hate it.

Me: Okay, what is it you don’t like?

Client: It’s different from what I thought it would look like. And the images are all wrong too!

Me: But you signed off the design a number of times. Those are the same images you approved, are they not?

Client: I didn’t think that is what it would actually look like though…

October 03, 2014
"For some reason, [our company name] is underlined throughout. Please fix that. Also on page 3 a lot of [other companies] got underlined as well, please remove."

The underline was spellchecker

September 30, 2014

Email from client: Spelling error on the logo… Center is the correct spelling.

Manager, Cultural Centre

(It should  be noted it’s spelled centre on the building and in the client’s own email signature. This happened in Canada, where we usually use the British spelling.)

September 26, 2014

After making a simple MS Word newsletter template for a client (who is the head of a large company)…

Client: Can you remove the red lines under the text? I don’t think it looks very good with the design.

Me: I don’t see any red lines.

Client: It only happens when I start working on the document.

Me: You mean the incorrect spelling underlines?

The template uses lorem ipsum, so EVERYTHING is underlined.

September 22, 2014

I was working with an older store owner who just recently had our advertising department build him a new website. He knows that he needs a website but doesn’t know much else about the internet. We’ll call his store “Owner’s Store” for the sake of this story.

Client: We’re having problems accessing the website.

Me: We are completely aware and are working on it. Your previous web provider hasn’t finished pointing your domain to our servers. The main portion is up and running though.

Client: I can’t get to that either.

Me: That’s odd. Are you going to

Client: Yes, but I keep getting an error.

Me: How are you searching for it?

Client: On the internet! o-w-n-e-r-APOSTROHPE-s-s-t-o-r-e-DOT-c-o-m!

Me: There’s the problem. Domains can’t have apostrophes. You own Try it without the apostrophe.

Client: No, I ALWAYS use an apostrophe!

Me: I promise you, you haven’t.

September 20, 2014

Client: It’s unacceptable! There is no way this flyer is in high resolution!

Me: I don’t understand, it’s the maximum quality settings I can get.

Client: Don’t bullshit me kid, I zoomed in to 150% and it’s all pixelated!

September 17, 2014

We’ve had feedback from one of our users that she pressed the ‘submit’ button before she was finished, because she didn’t realize it would submit her results. She thinks you should change it so that pressing ‘submit’ doesn’t submit the results before the user is finished, because other people will probably make the same mistake.

The form in question is a simple internal survey with two questions, one of them (the only one that requires typing) being entirely optional. The link to the survey was eventually sent out by the CEO with the following text: “A handy tip: don’t click ‘submit your answers’ until you have given all your answers.”

September 16, 2014

We are an app development company.

Client: I cannot get the app build to work - it keeps asking me for a pin code.

Me: Shouldn’t be. Can you send a screenshot?

Client sends a screenshot of his iPhone lock screen asking to input his password.