Client: I tried as hard as I could, but I can’t access my domain.
Me: You know the URL, correct?
Client: Yes, and I keep typing in what you told me, but it won’t link me to my domain.
Me: Why don’t you tell me exactly what you typed?
Client: Sure, I typed uuuuuudotsampledotkom.
Me: Just go on to our website and select the “My Account” button.
Client: I don’t see it.
Me: It’s on the black banner, in the top right corner
Client: I’m looking, I don’t see it!
Me: Are you on our website?
Me: Can you please go to the website?
Client: No, I’m not at my computer
A major client contracted us to organize a conference for 1,500 people. Part of the job involved building a website and a booking platform, but the client was adamant we use a particular third-party ticketing company that had never catered such a large, complex event before.
Concerned the system wasn’t capable or flexible enough to meet the client’s needs, we sent numerous emails highlighting the system’s shortcomings. Each time, our concerns were dismissed. In frustration, we put together a detailed report highlighting the problems we were likely to face, but we were told in no uncertain terms that we had to use the supplier anyway.
When only a handful of tickets were sold several months into a major marketing campaign, there was an emergency meeting between the teams involved, up to and including the CEO of the company.
When the subject of ticketing came up, our client company angrily asked us why were they getting so much negative feedback from people trying to buy tickets. We politely pointed out that all the issues buyers were experiencing were mentioned in our report and that we had said that using that supplier wasn’t a good idea. The CEO’s response?
Client:How could you let us make that mistake?
Oh, and the theme for the conference was “Leadership.”
"You can’t print double-sided transparencies?"
"The things that are crossed off. Does that mean they’re done?"
The client was referring to items under the heading “What’s Been Done.”
Client: Hey, sorry I forgot it - can you let me know the password to our site’s CMS, please?
Me: Sure, it’s: HtTXv7YDd…
Client: Whoa, whoa, whoa. No wonder I couldn’t remember it. Can you make it something more obvious, please?
Me: More obvious?
Client: Yeah, like ‘password’. That’s nice and simple. Make it easier to get in there.
I had put together an Excel template for a client for recording project details. It’s a template I’ve used a lot in the past. My new client calls me…
Client: This form, it doesn’t work. I can’t use it. It’s fuzzy at the bottom.
Me: Fuzzy? At the bottom? How so? Do you mean it’s… I have no idea what that might be…
Client: Fuzzy, I can’t read the text at the bottom - it’s fine at the top, but when you get down to the bottom, it’s fuzzy. You need to change it so I can read it.
Client: Oh… oh forget it, I have my bifocals on.
"It’s in a different language. Can’t read it. Also, none of the buttons work."
— Response to a mockup to a client, explaining that the images and latin text were placeholders and would be replaced with real content once the site was coded and live on the internet. I also explained that I was sending a flat screenshot, not a working website with functional buttons.
Client: Our website is down.
Me: Hmm… It’s working fine for me. Can you get on any other websites?
Client: No, the entire internet is down.
Me: That sounds like you have something wrong with your network. You should probably call your internet service provider.
Client: I thought that was you.
Me: No, we just designed your website. Your ISP is someone like AT&T, or Comcast. Who do you pay for your internet?
Client: Oh, that’s AT&T I guess.
Me: Well, call them and let them know your internet isn’t working.
Client: Can I call them from my cell phone?
Me: Sure… I don’t see why not. Why do you ask?
Client: Because the power in the building is off right now.
Client: That web form you did looks good but the “Name” field needs to be required.
Me: It is required. You can’t submit the form without inputting your name.
Client: I think you need to look at your coding. I added a name earlier and the form still went through.
Me: Yes - as long as there’s a value in there, the form will submit. What’s the issue?
Client: My name is Colin, but when I put my name as Bob, the form still submitted.