Client: The site isn’t accepting a date I’m trying to put in.
Me: What date is that?
Client: November 31st 2014.
Me: Oh, that’s because that’s not a valid date.
Client: What do you mean “not a valid date?” It’s an annual event and an important date to me. What’s changed that it’s no longer “valid?”
Me: November only has 30 days. Always has, as far as I know.
Client: …you should put a note on the website to avoid these situations.
Client: I’m getting taken to a not found  page when I click on this link. Can you fix it?
Me: Sure, what is it supposed to link to?
Client: Oh, I haven’t created that page yet.
Me: You can type the street number and name here
Client: Do I put a period or comma?
Me: You don’t type any punctuation in this field.
Client: Should I type a comma or spell out “comma”.
I created an ecommerce website for a client who is a huge Game of Thrones fan. During the weeks it took to finalise the design, I put through a test transaction under the name of Tyrion Lannister with an address of The Red Keep, Kingslanding, Westeros. The email address I used was email@example.com
A few weeks later, I got an irate email from the client asking why vital orders are not coming through and why their email wasn’t working. Apparently, when the client sent an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, it bounced back.
Client: I need the logo in white so I can upload it.
Me: Ok, here is a .png in white with the transparent background.
Client: You didn’t send me anything! I can’t use this — it’s just a white square!
Me: Attached is a screenshot of what it will look like when you upload it to the site.
Client: I can’t use this either! It has the background behind it!
I received a bug complaint from a client, stating:
Client: Part of the heading at the top of the page is hyperlinked. When you click on it, it goes to a www.freescore360.com advertisement. It only happens sometimes. See attached video.
The video was 6 minutes of repeated clicking on Chrome’s refresh button. Every so often, a random word from the page’s title would turn into a hyperlink.
Me: What’s that little blue extension icon to the right of their address bar?
Client: Oh that? That’s the My Free Credit Score browser extension. Why?
"When my computer loses power, could you program it to display a message on the screen that it’s lost power?"
While embedding a video onto my client’s website…
Me: This video will not play, the uploader will have to switch it off private view and make it public.
Client: Can’t you do that?
Me: No, the uploader needs to log into his Vimeo account and do it from there.
Client: Just embed the video anyway.
I add the video to the website.
Client: I’m trying to play the video from the website, but it say it’s private.
Me: Yeah, the uploader still needs to switch it to public view…
Client: When can you have that done?
Client: I lost my username and password for the website, can you remind me?
Me: Sure, your username is (clientfirstname).(clientlastname)…
Client: That username is way too long. How am I supposed to remember that?
My client works for an iPad and iPhone development software company. I often work on-site.
Client: I am having problems with my mouse. Can you come over and check it out?
I move the mouse back and forth. It functions as it should.
Me: There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong.
About 5 minutes later…
Client: It’s still not working. Come over and look.
I move the mouse and, again, saw nothing wrong.
Me: Show me exactly what you are doing.
He placed his finger on his computer screen and movies it back and forth.
Client: See, it’s not working.
Me: It’s not a touch screen.