Client: I don’t like this leprechaun, he’s too scary. He should look less like a fictional character and more like the people that use our product.
Less than 10 minutes later…
Client: Do fairies have acorns for hats? That seems a little far-fetched. And this one has different wings, why are they different? Seems like sort of a queer fairy.
Client: Here’s the concept for the new logo we need…
Me: This just says “girly.” What do you mean by girly?
Client: I don’t know, flowers or something…
Me: Any preferences on font or color?
Client: I don’t know. Look, if I tell you anymore than I’ve already told you, I’ll be doing all the work.
Please note, we’re both women and this conversation made me very sad.
When designing for a magazine cover, the first design presented has a color scheme of blue, yellow, bright green, and red.
Client: (1) I don’t know, there’s something missing.
Client: (2) Yeah, it’s too “girly”.
Client: (1) Hey wait! Let’s add purple! Can you add purple to it?!
Clients: (2) Yes! It’s perfect! It definitely needed the purple.
Me: Should I take out one of the other colors so it isn’t rainbow?
Client: (1) No, no. It’s great the way it is. Thanks!
Client: (2) Glad we caught that fruity look before it got out of hand.
Client: (1) Totally.
Keep in mind that the cover was now blue, yellow, green, red, and purple. The only colour truly missing from the rainbow was orange.
"The instruction video voice-over should be done by a woman, so that customers know it’s easy. Even a woman can do it!"
Client: So, the gays are pretty popular now, huh?
Me: Homosexuality is more widely accepted, yeah.
Client: OK… I need you to put a rainbow on each of our products. They will buy anything with rainbows on it.
"This little fa***t is really getting on my nerves, pay him before I do something stupid, Alisha make sure he does not get another job offer, let’s break out the Hounds and teach this little q***r a lesson……..Jill I will handle this little boy REAL GOOD, I notice the little f*g didn’t cc me on this one…."
A client who accidently CC’d me.
*Editor’s note: I censored some of the language. My apologies for having illicit language appear in our subscribers feed.