Clients from Hell

Submit your story
June 12, 2014

Free Workshop Follow-up

Wow, what a response we had for our workshop!

If you haven’t been following Clients From Hell for the past few days - or if we’ve burned up our goodwill and our messages are in your spam now - we hosted a free workshop with Brennan Dunn on how to set better rates, get better clients, and be a better freelancer.

Missed it? No worries - register now and you can check out a recording of the workshop. It’s free!

Register here

Who is Brennan Dunn and why should I care about the workshop?

Brennan has a story that is likely similar to your yours. He was a technical expert, not a businessman. He had a full-time job, but he wanted to work for himself, on his own terms. He researched rates, set himself up at a reasonable-sounding $50 an hour, and, much to his disappointment, he found he had traded one boss for several.

Now, after a lot of mistakes, research, and work, Brennan boasts a successful business and he was kind enough to share those hard-earned lessons with our readership.

If you’re interested, make sure to register to get a recording of the workshop.

June 10, 2014

Six hours until our free workshop on how to increase your rates!

Want to know why you should stop calling yourself a freelancer? There are only a few hours left to find out!

Clients From Hell readers get to enjoy a free workshop with Brennan Dunn, author of “Double Your Freelancing Rate.” We’ll be talking about how to make more money, get better clients, and reduce the number of submissions we receive here.

It’s your last chance to sign up before we go live, so don’t miss it!

When: June 10th at 11am Pacific, 2pm Eastern, 6pm GMT.
Register here

Can’t make the scheduled time? No worries - register now and you’ll receive a link to the workshop once it’s complete. 

(this notification comes in addition to regularly scheduled CFH stories)

June 08, 2014

How to Double Your Freelancing Rate - Workshop for CFH readers

Want to know why you should stop calling yourself a freelancer?

Brennan Dunn has agreed to host a free workshop on how to increase freelancing rates and avoid our own personal clients from hell. We’ll be talking about how to set rates, how to find and approach clients, and, most importantly, how to avoid all the mistakes Brennan made moving from his home office to building a brick and mortar agency.

The free workshop will go live on June 10th at 11am Pacific, 2pm Eastern, 6pm GMT.

Click here to register for free.

About Brennan Dunn: Brennan has a story that is likely similar to your yours. He was a technical expert, not a businessman. He had a full-time job, but he wanted to work for himself, on his own terms. He researched rates, set himself up at a reasonable-sounding $50 an hour, and, much to his disappointment, he found he had traded one boss for several.

Now, after a lot of mistakes, research, and work, Brennan boasts a successful business and he’s eager to share these hard-earned lessons with the Clients From Hell readership. 

Can’t make the time? Not a problem - everyone who registers will receive a link to the workshop afterwards.

Any other questions? We’ll be doing a Q&A at the end of the workshop, so have them on standby!

February 10, 2014

The Freelancer Starter Kit - For Free

This package, valued at 1900USD, has everything a freelancer needs to start their business, including:

Contracts for Creative Professionals:

We hired lawyers and industry veterans to consult on the creation of these contracts and to ensure that they’ll meet the needs of almost any freelancer.

A Professionally Made Website:

In partnership (CFH is an affiliate) with Site5, we will install WordPress and a professional theme for your business, with a package that includes:

  • Free hosting for 6 months
  • A free domain
  • Unlimited domain hosting
  • Unlimited hosting space
  • Unlimited GB of file transfers
  • Unlimited email accounts
  • 24/7 phone, chat, and email support

Our Handy Guide to Freelancing:

A compendium of FAQs, How-To, and Advice, our guide includes everything you need to start - and flourish - as a freelancer.

Note: We will follow up within 24 hours of you signing up.

February 07, 2014

Client: I want to rank #1 on Google for the keywords “divorce” and “divorce lawyer”.  What’s that going to get me?

Me: Google predicts $10 a click. Your budget is $200 a month. We’re going to burn through that by noon today.

Client:  That’s not going to work, I want to advertise all month!

Me: Then you’ll need to increase budget or decrease expectations.

Client: Don’t argue with me, son. I do divorce mitigation for a living.

December 15, 2013

Clients From Hell 2 is now FREE!

image

Hey readers! Last year, we published our second book, collecting stories, advice, and additional anecdotes not available on the site. Today, we offer you all that stuff for the low, low price of free for the next 4 days!

It’s like we’re just giving it away! Because we are. That’s why it seems like that.

Anywho, sign up for our newsletter and expect a copy of our book to pop up in your inbox soon after. Thanks for making it such an excellent year for us. We have more stories, more videos, and some third thing all coming your way in 2014. Let’s make it the best year that directly follows 2013 EVER!

Please leave a review on the book. 

July 27, 2013
CLIENTS FROM HELL 2 IS 30% OFF
Clients From Hell 2 sits at 4.5 stars on Amazon and is now available for 30% off for the next 48 hours!
The book features exclusive stories, the site’s most popular anecdotes, and advice from freelance veterans for a special mixture of wisdom and woe you won’t find anywhere else. For the budding creative to the bitter professional, there’s something for everyone here.
As always, we appreciate your support and we will continue to look for ways to give our readers what they want. For now, enjoy the reduced price of our latest book, consider picking up the last one, and subscribe to our newsletter for articles on how to make it as a freelancer (in addition to a free copy of the Freelancers Guide for 2013).
Oh, and don’t forget to send us stories about your own client from hell!

CLIENTS FROM HELL 2 IS 30% OFF

Clients From Hell 2 sits at 4.5 stars on Amazon and is now available for 30% off for the next 48 hours!

The book features exclusive stories, the site’s most popular anecdotes, and advice from freelance veterans for a special mixture of wisdom and woe you won’t find anywhere else. For the budding creative to the bitter professional, there’s something for everyone here.

As always, we appreciate your support and we will continue to look for ways to give our readers what they want. For now, enjoy the reduced price of our latest book, consider picking up the last one, and subscribe to our newsletter for articles on how to make it as a freelancer (in addition to a free copy of the Freelancers Guide for 2013).

Oh, and don’t forget to send us stories about your own client from hell!

June 26, 2013

Here there be dragons

I recently took a job with a friend of a friend. I was guaranteed to work for the guy for one year after signing the contract with him. As a sign of good faith, he asked me to pick out a drawing tablet to use, stating he would reimburse me for the charges. I bought a tablet and worked on some of the concept art for the comic he wanted me to draw while we ironed out the contract. This was the agreement for me to begin work one month before the contract started.

Then, a few days short of a month later, the client came to my apartment unannounced at 9PM to check on my work. I wasn’t happy with his abrupt arrival, but I did agree to show him the concept art I had drawn for him.

Me: This is my first drawing of the dragon you wanted. I have never drawn something like this before, so I assume that you’ll have some critiques for me.

Client: Phew! We have a ways to go!

Me: Well, this’ll be a good start for the revisions. What don’t you like about it?

He  proceeds to tell me that the dragon isn’t skinny enough, but besides that, it’s fine. The next day, I called my friend that set this whole thing up, and asked when we were signing the contract.

Friend: Well, I don’t think you should sign it.

Me: I just spent $400 on a tablet, and a whole month creating designs for him. Why shouldn’t I sign it?

Friend: Because he decided he doesn’t want to work with someone who is unprofessional.

Me: How was I unprofessional?

Friend: He said that you didn’t got very offended when he said your dragon wasn’t right.

Me: I buy a $400 tablet that he said he would reimburse me for. I spent a month of my own time drawing concept art for him. He shows up announced at my home after dark demanding to see my work, and I’m the unprofessional one? Can I at least get my receipt back for the tablet? Maybe I can get my money back by returning the tablet. 

Friend: Oh, he lost the receipt. Sorry, man.

Editor’s Note: Not to rub salt in the wound, but professionals rarely work without a contract.

May 31, 2013

I received payment five months late, minus the late fees and with a note attached.

Client: I appreciate your work and I apologize for the lateness, however, we did not agree to be charged these late fees, so we will not be paying them.

I responded:

Me: I appreciate the payment for the original invoice. However, we did agree that you would pay me four months ago. As a result, I’ve attached an invoice with the late fees. 

May 16, 2013

Client: I need a quote, just base it on xxxxx.com

Me: Sorry, I need a spec to quote the work.

Client: It’s just like the other one.”

Me: Okay, so build a spec based on that and submit it.

Client: I need a price.

Me: I need a spec.

Client: Okay, you obviously don’t feel comfortable pricing it.

Me: Not without a spec, no.

Client: Oh, is that all?